AIBU to not want to socialise with someone convicted of sexual offences related to children?

[tomhardyonthewaltzers]

Am I losing my mind? because apparently I'm being unreasonable!.

A friends wedding is coming up. Invitation arrived ages ago and I accepted. I was really looking forward to it as would see lots of friends from Uni I haven't seen for years.

One of our old friendship group was several years ago convicted of making and distributing child abuse images. He got a suspended sentence. His GF was also part of our friendship group and she stuck by him. I cut contact with both of them.

A few years later he was caught again and jailed this time. GF found out she was pregnant just after he went inside. Again she stuck by him and they now have two children together and are still a couple but not living together since he was released.

They're both invited to the wedding which I only just found out. So I told friend who's getting married that I won't attend now because they're going.

So now I'm being pressured by the rest of the friendship group. Told that friend who's getting married is devastated, that her wedding won't be the same if I'm not there to watch her get married. Can't I just put my opinion aside for one day? That they don't want to see him either but wouldn't let the bride down. I was even called selfish!.

I CANNOT watch him laughing and joking at the reception or having a dance or whatever. I just can't watch him enjoy himself knowing what he's done and I am more angry with his partner really, although I know that's unfair but I just can't fathom her thought processes at all.

Would anyone on here be able to put it aside and go? I do feel guilty about letting my friend down and upsetting her and it seems like I'm the only one of our friendship group making this decision.

You've been at the OP since your first post, Add, telling her she's wrong and 'making it all about her'.

Stop snipping and trying engaging properly.

You're not painting yourself in a good light at all.

I would absolutely not go. I would if asked - which would certainly be the case with a close friend surely - have explained that I decline to socialise in any capacity with a convicted paedophile.

If the bride wants to invite such a person to her wedding where they will have opportunity to consort with children, that is her lookout. Provided of course that she has made it clear on her invites to people with young children that a convicted paedophile will be present.

I am betting that will reduce her RSVP's by about 90%.

Why do you have to delete Olivia? Because a couple of people who are behaving like paedophile apologists are reporting us?

I'd expect that taking down posts minimising the crimes of sexual abuse of children would be a higher priority on a parenting site.

he might not BE a direct danger.

But knowing what he was jailed for... would you be comfortable if you saw him looking at your children?

Bang on paul
Bang. On.

Surely the posts from Add are not in the spirit of the site?

Ok, so I haven't rtft, I read to page 7 and felt I needed to reply. I was abused by a family member from a very early age, like a pp I don't know exactly when it started, but I remember it being before I started school. So very young. Id like to think that there are no images of this online as it was pre Internet (although not that long before) however I know images were taken. So I can never be sure. There has never been a conviction in my case either and now it is too late. It has damaged me in almost all aspects of my life. My ability to trust people, my ability to enjoy certain sexual acts, my self esteem etc etc. It is not ok for anyone ever to take advantage of a child. Ever. And that includes looking at images of a child being abused online. That is colluding in the abuse of a child in my opinion. I don't care about categories of child "pornography" in the sense that any image is the moment in time that a child was exploited. That a child was irrevocably damaged. That child will never forget what Happened to them. Why should anyone forget or forgive anyone who was perpetrating in that image being made? Op I think you are doing the right thing, for too long the people who do this kind of thing have been protected by secrecy. It is time that people took a stand against them and their despicable actions.
I hope this post hasn't been too emotive, I just want to put the view of someone who has been that child in those images here.

Yes, Maryz. I may have given SGB and Add both barrels about their, frankly unacceptable posts.

I think Paul is probably about the same.

I'm very disturbed that a couple of paedophile apologists are on this site and on this thread roaming at will and having other voices deleted.

Addto, what are you on? OP was previously fully intending to go to the wedding and looking forward to it. Then when she heard this scum was attending she couldn't go. I would assume the bride wanted to know why. Was OP supposed to lie about it? It wasn't her making a drama out of it, or making the wedding into a platform for anything: it's the group of friends who are making a drama out of it by saying how devastated the bride is and how selfish OP is. Frankly, I'm amazed that they're not following OP's lead, but at the very least they should simply take the line that they respect her right to make the decision whether to go or not, rather than trying to pressurise her.

I've been deleted too My first time ever.

I dont think there is anything else TO say to people who're trying to minimise images of child abuse, or try to make out that some sorts are worse than others... other than a 'fuck off you twat'

I'm honestly surprised they're being defended by HQ deleting the sentiments while those disgusting apologist posts are being left to stand.

A minority of the responses to the OP on this thread are possibly the worst things I have read on the Internet. Arguing about the severity of the images this man has viewed - as if there is an acceptable threshold for images of abuse - to posts inferring that the OP has breached some kind of wedding etiquette by not turning down the invitation benignly to spare the bride's feelings are truly shocking.

OP you are absolutely correct in your actions and your friendship group are a disgrace.

Add's posts are definitely not in the spirit of the site. Neither are SGB's. Or that awful one from CateWood21.

The OP is using someone else's day to air her views. wtf ?!!!

OP. I admire your strength and I have put my support for you on here. Don't doubt yourself.
I have to quit and check out of this thread as certain posters on this thread is doing my head in.

Maryz I don't believe those posters actually hold the opinions they are expounding. I believe they are actually so pathetically lacking in life they get some measure of titillation by posting in sympathy with convicted deviants.

It's a nooooope from me. No question.

Some things are non negotiable.

The OP has committed no crime by refusing to socialise with the man and making it known, either, AddToBasket

Thank you for sharing mamabird3 .