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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help, boyfriend hasn't come home. AIBU to want to call the police?

487 replies

Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:09

He has form for coming in at 6/7 am after an all nighter but this is really late for him. His phone is off. Starting to get worried. What's the next logical step here?

OP posts:
Dorie22 · 31/01/2016 09:11

Do you have any of his friends numbers who he was out with last night? Perhaps its as simple as he passed out on a mates sofa and phone has died?

DianaT1969 · 31/01/2016 09:11

Hi,
Have you got phone numbers for friends he might have been with? Any idea where he went?

OhShutUpThomas · 31/01/2016 09:14

I'd bet money he'll be back soon.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 31/01/2016 09:20

Was he out drinking? Remember tubes and trains were screwed up last night and some may not be running yet. His phone is probably dead. I think I'd presume he was sleeping it off somewhere for a while yet, and expect him to appear in the next few hours.

If he's not home and you've heard nothing by midday, I'd be more worried, although I believe the police don't do much about missing person reports until the person hasn't been seen for 24 hours. I'm not sure if that's true everywhere - part of me hopes not!

Creampastry · 31/01/2016 09:20

He usually gets home at 6/7am and you're worried because he's two hours late?!

SeldomAthleticFC · 31/01/2016 09:21

It's awful, isn't it? I had this with exH - even though I would know he was most likely just pissed and inconsiderate, I'd go mad with worry. He'd turn his phone off deliberately so I couldn't hassle him and then roll in at lunchtime as if nothing had happened.

It took me 7 years to LTB. I wish I'd done it sooner.

RainOhJoyus · 31/01/2016 09:22

The 24 hours missing things is bollocks, depends on the situation and vulnerability if the person.

I'd try his friends that he was out with/phone other friends who might have his number and then if they think he should be home then stry 101

corlette · 31/01/2016 09:24

He's asleep at a mate's house, will wake in few hours hungover up to the eyeballs and his mobile is dead.
I'm guessing it's 9.20am in the UK right now. Leave it till lunchtime and give his mates or family a quick text if you've not heard anything.
He'll be fine OP, try not to worry.

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:24

Have called the police (the non emergency number) and they have no record of him being detained. Very unlikely as he's very law abiding.

He has form for going out "for one" at ten and rolling in at seven am. This is the latest he has ever stayed out!

He could be sleeping it off but I'm just so worried he's got into a fight or something. Again, he's not a fighter or a trouble maker of any kind but alcohol is a bitch!

OP posts:
Creampastry · 31/01/2016 09:24

How old is he?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 31/01/2016 09:27

He's probably slept on someone's sofa. These threads usually result in the drunk partner rolling home mid afternoon.

firesidechat · 31/01/2016 09:28

Threads like this on mn all the time. Never once has the man in question come to harm. They all come back with a massive hangover.

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:32

Glad to hear that. He's 43 with two grown up kids. We've been together for six years.

OP posts:
PlumpFiction · 31/01/2016 09:32

He'll probably roll in at some point in the next few hours. If I were you I'd make myself busy doing something nice for myself in the meantime. People like him never seem to realise the impact their actions have on others. Do give some thought as to how much of your life you're prepared to live like this. He might never change, ask yourself if that's truly how you want to live.

RainOhJoyus · 31/01/2016 09:33

He deserves some grief when he comes home, wake up his friends that you knew he was out with last night and ask them

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:36

He's going to get some grief, trust me. Police haven't seen him and the local hospital reception number keeps ringing out. I know it's silly but what if something has happened!

OP posts:
JohnLuther · 31/01/2016 09:38

Nothing has happened, he's sleeping it off somewhere.

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:39

He goes out with a barely charged phone, doesn't text all night and then crashes in at six/seven, pukes and pisses everywhere and is then out of action for the whole day.

It's just so inconsiderate

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 31/01/2016 09:39

Alcohol isn't a "bitch", me and DH like a good drink but would never do this to each other. Blame your DP.

EponasWildDaughter · 31/01/2016 09:40

Why are you even with him Confused

I'm sure he'll be home to puke and piss everywhere soon.

LagunaBubbles · 31/01/2016 09:40

Why do woman put up with this behaviour regularly?

Only1scoop · 31/01/2016 09:41

Ugh

SuckingEggs · 31/01/2016 09:41

He sounds awful tbh. I hope he's ok but the behaviour you describe is vile.

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:43

He's lovely, honestly. He just can't handle his Strongbow.

Bloody hell, have tried to phone the local hospital five times and keep getting cut off!

OP posts:
TheCatsWhiskers · 31/01/2016 09:43

It is inconsiderate.

So you either do something about it or accept this this is going to be your life.

At the age of 43 it's pathetic to be acting like this and treating you with so little respect.

I hope you sort it out Flowers