Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help, boyfriend hasn't come home. AIBU to want to call the police?

487 replies

Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:09

He has form for coming in at 6/7 am after an all nighter but this is really late for him. His phone is off. Starting to get worried. What's the next logical step here?

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 31/01/2016 09:44

Why are you even with this person, he sounds vile from what you have said.

DianaT1969 · 31/01/2016 09:44

If you are planning on staying with him, I would do this back to him once a month. Tell him you're going out for one with a friend, stay at hers and roll in at 11am next day with a flat phone battery.

Bunbaker · 31/01/2016 09:45

"He goes out with a barely charged phone, doesn't text all night and then crashes in at six/seven, pukes and pisses everywhere and is then out of action for the whole day.

It's just so inconsiderate"

I hope he is OK, but I wonder why you are even with him. What are his redeeming features? OH and I would never do that to each other.

I'm sorry you have to put up with this.

SkiptonLass2 · 31/01/2016 09:45

Pisses everywhere?? Grim.

ExplodingCarrots · 31/01/2016 09:45

Someone who pukes and pisses everywhere would be a deal breaker for me OP. Why do you put up with that? He's a 43 year old father not a teenager.

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 09:45

He has some staying power to be out drinking like that. At 21 I could have done it on a rare occasion but at 43 I'd grown out of it and my body just couldn't take that amount of abuse.

I think when he comes home, don't start WW3, perhaps wait until the hangover has gone and have an adult conversation about the amount of drinking. He may need some help.

Pipistrella · 31/01/2016 09:46

Sounds like he's doing you a favour by not arriving home in that condition.

I'd be hoping it was permanent.

Costacoffeeplease · 31/01/2016 09:47

He sounds a delight. He'll be sleeping it off somewhere and be back later with a massive hangover - I'd have his stuff in bin bags waiting for him

SomewhereInbetween · 31/01/2016 09:48

Gosh what's with all the missing partners that have gone to get pissed lately?

Evabeaversprotege · 31/01/2016 09:49

I'd lock the door and head put for the day.

My father was like this when I was growing up.

He's 75 now and still does it. Difference being that my mum left him so no longer has sleepless nights.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 31/01/2016 09:50

I'm not sure the hospital will tell you even if he is there, pretty sure they aren't allowed t share that info.

I'm sure he'll roll in eventually, make sure you make it clear to him how worried his inconsiderate actions have caused you.

Evabeaversprotege · 31/01/2016 09:50

out not put!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/01/2016 09:50

He's got form Hmm stop bothering the hospital they have better things to do.

So what if he can't handle his strong bow? At age 43 and after getting in such a state regularly it's not a stringbow problem it's a him problem. Fine if you want to live like this but leave the police and hospitals to get on with their business

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:52

He's at a friends. Phew! Thanks for the support

OP posts:
Bearsinmotion · 31/01/2016 09:53

He goes out with a barely charged phone, doesn't text all night and then crashes in at six/seven, pukes and pisses everywhere and is then out of action for the whole day.

And you want him to come home?!

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 31/01/2016 09:53

DH did this once. 'Wasn't feeling well' and only went out for one. Not back at 7am, me with one year old DS. Fortunately he was at college doing masters and there was a book of cvs for potential employers so I phoned every single one until I tracked him down on someone's floor. Apparently he was being kind to me by not waking me in the night! But the humiliation of loads of friends calling him to say that his wife was looking for him stopped him ever doing it again.

He will come home. If you get chance write down the mobile and preferably also home numbers of all of his friends. Then next time start calling. Repeatedly. He'll get the message. Really, at his age he should have grown out of this.

BolshierAryaStark · 31/01/2016 09:54

Why on earth people put up with this shit is beyond me.

He has form for this, comes home & pukes & pisses everywhere? Yeah he sounds like a real treasure Hmm

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 09:55

I think the OP is completely missing the point and seems content to thrive in a world of drama. Some people just do I suppose.

HermioneJeanGranger · 31/01/2016 09:56

A grown man who pisses and pukes everywhere? How appealing! Hmm

Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:56

I think that is unfair

OP posts:
Original poster
Grapeeatingweirdo · 31/01/2016 09:57

Maisie that is. I dislike the drama intensely. I'd rather he was home and safe with me where he should be.

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/01/2016 09:57

Well there's a surprise Hmm

LagunaBubbles · 31/01/2016 09:58

Right leaving it to you OP, if your content with this then I pity you but hey ho, you don't seem to be reading anyone's comments.

Pipistrella · 31/01/2016 09:58

Well if you don't like it, Grape, whatcha gonna do about it?

Longtalljosie · 31/01/2016 09:59

It is unfair - on you. If my DH wasn't home by the next morning I'd be frantic because he would never stay out all night without checking in. In fact he'd never stay out all night without discussing it in advance, any more than I would - or you would, I suspect, OP. Frankly, if he stays out till 6/7, 9/10 isn't that much of a stretch. It's massively disrespectful.