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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think there is something wrong with DS?

207 replies

AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:02

DS is 7 y/o and I'm seriously concerned... I've been called into his school, many times, due to him using sexually explicit language and it's incredibly embarrassing/concerning - I have no idea how he knows about the stuff he is saying. I've heard him saying such things to our cat/his teddies too and I have no idea how to deal with it :(

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2016 23:04

What do school advise? Had their safeguarding officer been involved?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:08

*They haven't suggested much - at first, they thought there were issues at home, but after DS had, had a meeting with the Safeguarding Officer, I assumed they ruled that out, thankfully.

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 27/01/2016 23:13

Is he able to access the Internet without your knowledge? Are parental controls set up properly? Does he play outside with a much older year group? When you ask him where he learned these expressions, what does he say? Why is he trying to get so much negative attention do you think?

ghostyslovesheep · 27/01/2016 23:13

so what have the school recommended? What has your GP said - who have you spoken to for advice?

with the best will in the world strangers on MN can't tell you what's 'wrong' (nothing he may just be different not wrong) with him

Talk to school, talk to your gp - get decent advice x

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:15

*No, we have really good Parental Controls and he can only get on the Internet, in the living room and we are always about... No, he doesn't play outside alone and if he does, I'll be there... They said that they are going to be doing a lot of positive reinforcement and he is speaking to a mentor, every Wednesday.

OP posts:
SnootBoop · 27/01/2016 23:17

So, where do you think he's hearing this language?

arethereanyleftatall · 27/01/2016 23:18

He must be getting the information from sonewhere. He wasn't born with this knowledge. What does he say when you ask him where he has heard such language?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:18

*That's where I have no idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:19

*He claims that he is just a very clever boy. He refuses to come to the doctors and I can't drag him there.

OP posts:
SnootBoop · 27/01/2016 23:21

you can't take your 7yo to the doctor??

Darvany · 27/01/2016 23:22

Did you just say that a seven year old child is not your responsibility regarding medical treatment? Or have I misunderstood?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:23

*It isn't exactly medical treatment, is it?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/01/2016 23:23

He refuses to go to the doctor's and he's only 7? Don't tell him you're going until you're nearly there!

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:24

*I've tried that before and he then just kicks up a major fuss and starts biting, it's impossible.

OP posts:
notenoughbottle · 27/01/2016 23:24

If my seven year old ds, because I do have one, refused to come to the dr 's with me then I'd be picking him up and carrying him in over my shoulder. I would be extremely concerned as to where he is hearing this kind of stuff, a child of this age doesn't just materialise this kind of stuff in their head.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/01/2016 23:24

I'm not really understanding, sorry.
So you say to him 'where did you hear such language' and he says 'I'm just a clever boy.' And you say 'yes you are. But that doesn't answer my question. you must have heard it somewhere. Where?' And he says....??

Justputyourshoesonnow · 27/01/2016 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 27/01/2016 23:25

He is 7 years old. Yes you can drag him to the doctor. Or, if needs be get the doctor or health visitor to come to you.

PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2016 23:25

It isn't exactly medical treatment, is it?

Your seven year old is using sexually inappropriate language and you can't identify the source. That is a very worrying situation. I can't understand why you don't appear to be taking this more seriously.

grumpysquash2 · 27/01/2016 23:25

Why does he think that sexually explicit language is being 'a very clever boy'? Someone must have told him that......
Not sure how a GP can help with this though.

Has your DS got friends with much older siblings?

maddening · 27/01/2016 23:26

is he only with you when not at school?

SnootBoop · 27/01/2016 23:27

do you find it difficult to manage his behaviour generally, or just with going to the doctor?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:27

*Yes, his friends do have older siblings, but he never interacts with them.

OP posts:
Darvany · 27/01/2016 23:27

With all due respect, it doesn't fucking matter, does it? What if he needed emergency treatment and refused? You are the adult and you have a right in law to make decisions based on his well-being.

Gobbolino6 · 27/01/2016 23:27

The first thing that you need to do is find out the source. If you can't identify it, find someone professional who can.