...to think there is something wrong with DS?

[AutumnSky123]

DS is 7 y/o and I'm seriously concerned... I've been called into his school, many times, due to him using sexually explicit language and it's incredibly embarrassing/concerning - I have no idea how he knows about the stuff he is saying. I've heard him saying such things to our cat/his teddies too and I have no idea how to deal with it :(

I'm so for your loss.

Are all the incidents sexual? My children would interpret the pencil comment as violence and not sexual (they are ages 9 and up) If I recall correctly using a pen to stab someone appeared on the movie Goodfellas.

You really need to have parental controls especially if he watches YouTube. I was watching gymnastics videos with my neighbour's 5 year old and on the suggested videos at the end was a ghost video. There is a YouTube app for kids. I think your Ds needs it if he's accessing YouTube on a tablet or phone.

Check his Internet history at your mum's. So many parents think their child wouldn't look at porn etc but an innocent mistake can lead to dark sites. Imagine a child trying to find cat videos and typing "pussy cat" in Google and you see what I mean,

My older teen watches YouTube videos where the "banter" turns to phrases like "suck it" and "up yours" Have you checked what he watches on YouTube? Some Minecraft videos are very sweary eh Yogscast.

This is a bit over the top and is no doubt making the op feel worse. Kids do hear stuff in the playground. I remember my own primary school days. it isn't outrageous for a seven year old to know the mechanics of sex. He knows these phrases shock. He's a bereaved boy, he's trying to act out his anger and get people to see how much he's hurting. I agree about seeking help but I don't think this behaviour is so shocking.

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And stop with all the troll hunting. I expect many people turn to mumsnet for the first time when looking for help with some aspect of pregnancy or child rearing. You don't have to earn some posting badge before you start a thread

I find it kind of creepy on an anonymous forum how often people do a search of your posting history. Perhaps it shouldn't be so easy.

I'm sorry you lost your husband.

Very important it isn't used as an excuse for not guiding your son correctly.

The thing is, there's a prolific troll who does post provocative things like this frequently and uses the name Autumn. Hence all the s.

My very first "HTH" and a reminder to people not to blithely post the "sexual things their kids have said" comments in sympathy...

(Whether this is a real post or not)

Sorry your having such a crap time OP. My advice as tough as it is is to regain control now, you will have a crap week or two before he realises you mean business. My dd is very difficult but is 14, behaviour gets harder to control at that age when they are bigger than you so try now !
I would be concerned where this is coming from, I would advise your DM not to let him access the computer there alone ever. I work with in an EBD unit for 8-11 year olds and am shocked how easily you can access really disturbing things. Last week I sat with a young girl she typed "my little pony" into YouTube and there were hundreds of episodes of my little pony but a very disturbing version involving sex, violence and really disturbed language. This got through the school filters so it doesn't always protect you at that age always watch.

OP - Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss.

Just a thought on your sons reluctance to see the Doctor. Do you think he could be scared? My DH died very suddenly two years ago. My two were 8 and 4. He went off to hospital with a bad cough and shortness of breath and died the next day. Ever since, DC's seem to view hospitals and surgeries with suspicion and fear. This is getting better as I have explained to them many times that what happened to Daddy was very, very unusual and that people go to Hospital etc. to make them better. They now understand that (I think). I'm not sure how your DP/H died but it could be something to consider if you haven't already?

As other have suggested, I would definitely speak to Winstons Wish as they will be very used to dealing with all aspects of a grieving child.

Good luck.

I find it kind of creepy on an anonymous forum how often people do a search of your posting history. Perhaps it shouldn't be so easy.

I can't see the problem with doing this and I hope mn don't change this facility. It's not creepy, well not usually. I'm not saying that the op is a troll at all, but trolls are a fact of online life and I welcome any tool to spot them.

DD (5) likes to watch Disney collector videos on YouTube. . Then she found my little pony on there. But mixed up in the real ones are parodies that others have made which have very adult themes and language. (There's a trailer for Inside Out 2 where Riley has turned into a teenage whore too. ) There's no way to filter them out so she isn't allowed to watch YouTube unsupervised anymore. It's just a rule we have.

How is the 'I'm a clever boy' delivered? If it's a monotone voice could he be trying to tell you something? I don't like writing this, but I'm sure you're aware that most sexual abuse is from someone you know.

Ok thanks, I understand better now. I just don't like it when someone posts about one thing and people throw back comments they've made on other threads. I post regularly on threads about miscarriage, for example, but would be disconcerted if people brought this up on other unrelated threads.

i post regularly on threads about miscarriage, for example, but would be disconcerted if people brought this up on other unrelated threads.

Don't worry-that's considered really poor etiquette (unless someone completely changed their story across threads). There was one a few months ago where the sand poster claimed they had about £15 to feed their family for a week while asking for recommendations for Disney world.

Once again I am not throwing accusations at the op, but sometimes an emotive first post with no other posting history is a troll post. Sometimes it's just a name changer, but posters are wary of most threads these days.

I don't think there are many circumstances where posting history is used against posters generally. Not many people would point to another thread unless it was relevant or suspicious.

Being wary is good. But you can report and not engage, or just issue a general reminder that it's not a good idea to overshare without all the biscuits and raised eyebrows.

Even if not raised, I still find the thought of people reading those other posts just to get a feel for where I'm coming from a bit creepy, but maybe I should just namechange more.

I think it's actually when people are in crisis/some kind of mess that they turn to somewhere for advice
however unbelievable it seems to some people, I always believe everyone as Ive had loads of awful stuff happen in quick succession too - It was precisely when I had had something terrible happen that I first joined MN. Posting history means nothing (and particularly now many people are? presumably different names or name changed after the site was hacked a while back)

Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it might be an unusual first post, but I thought about the site and figured it might be a good place to start, that's all. I'm not a troll or that Autumn one, but I know that is exactly good enough for you to believe me, so I really hope Mumsnet can clear things up soon. About the doctor thing, I don't think some of you understand just how bad he is - if we have to go by car, he will undo his seat belt and climb over and try and steer the wheel and that just isn't safe, so I'm not putting him in that situation. If we walk, he will scream to people that I'm a stranger and trying to take him, which I'm obviously not and it's just an impossible battle. Also, I'm not trying to use my husband's death as an excuse, I'm a shit mum, I get it, but it's very difficult and hard to deal with and as much as I shouldn't have let him take control, he has started to. Thanks a lot for the charity info, I'll take a look at that and also the going into the doctor/school on my own and seeing what can be done.

Having a son with behavioural problems doesn't make you a shit mum. Having a son with behavioural problems and not seeking support is another thing.

I guess if you refuse to get him to the doctors then there's not a lot you can do.

You really really really really need to take back control, OP.

Now.

Before he gets older.

Seek help.

Is there any way you can speak to your DM about this OP? Just thinking, as it sounds as if thats mostly where he is when he's not with you or at school.

His dad's died, thats a bereavement for you too. Your head's probably all over the place, a bit hard to behave in the "correct" way and do the "correct" thing, I guess

Please do go to your GP - you, as well as your little boy, need advice help and encouragement. Is there anyone at all who can support you in RL ie trusted friend or family member, who could accompany you to GP, make it easier for you to get there, and then sit in waiting room until your appointment is finished?

It needs to be sorted for both your sake. The school are ok now but if his behaviour continues in this way, they won't be ok about it for long and that will leave you with so much more to deal with, not least if parents of children he is speaking too in such a way get wind of it

You need help your son needs help. You're both struggling. You've managed to speak on here so go and say same to GP, take steps towards getting this load off your mind, and you and your son feeling better.

I understand the difficulty of getting a child into a car. My son is slightly older but when he is raging it needs two people to get him in the car and keep him safe in there. I would go and see the Gp on your own. Camhs don't have to see him in a medical place.