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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think there is something wrong with DS?

207 replies

AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:02

DS is 7 y/o and I'm seriously concerned... I've been called into his school, many times, due to him using sexually explicit language and it's incredibly embarrassing/concerning - I have no idea how he knows about the stuff he is saying. I've heard him saying such things to our cat/his teddies too and I have no idea how to deal with it :(

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/01/2016 23:42

SpongeBob don't try and be snarky. No need for that comment. Everyone knows what you're going for with it, it's not on.

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:42

I used to used to have an account on here, a couple of years back, but I could no longer remember my login details.

OP posts:
grumpysquash2 · 27/01/2016 23:43

It would be ok to say the words here on MN, if you wanted to, no-one would have a problem with that. Also OK if you don't want to.

DixieNormas · 27/01/2016 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:44

What are they going with, Paul? Hmm
Just thought it would be nice to get some advice from mums, really.

OP posts:
MiscellaneousAssortment · 27/01/2016 23:44

What TV is he allowed to watch? Is he allowed to browse channels or flick from one to another after dinner or later?

Ditto computer games - what titles, what supervision and what social contact via games.

Sounds like you and your DS have had a really tough year or so.

It does seem maybe like roles are being blurred a bit here? With DS being more of an adult than is good for him. Maybe concentrate on getting roles back to a healthier dynamic?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:45

I already explained why, Dixie...

OP posts:
becksblue · 27/01/2016 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SparkleSoiree · 27/01/2016 23:46

There are some specific questions being asked OP. It's a very sensitive subject that you have posted about so to get the best response it would be good to answer questions so that other posters can put things into perspective before offering you their opinion. General statements make it very difficult to offer any kind of advice.

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:46

Sorry, is there something wrong with my thread, as to why you have reported? Hmm

I appreciate it's an unusual situation, but that's why I'm seeking advice.

OP posts:
liinyo · 27/01/2016 23:48

Please let's not lose sight of the fact the OP opens saying she is seriously concerned. She knows there is something amiss here and she needs help.

All children need boundaries. This boy needs to know that mum is in control, no matter how much he kicks against it, if he needs medical attention he matters enough that his mum will get him that attention. He needs to know that his language is not ok and that whoever taught him these phrases was not ok. He needs to be reassured that he is not naughty or at fault, but a victim of someone else's bad behaviour and that he is loved and special.

And OP, he is staying with family, going to clubs - this language didn't come from nowhere. You know that and in the absence of his dad you need to be his first line of defence. It is so hard for you. Well done for coming on MN and starting the journey towards helping your little boy.

SparkleSoiree · 27/01/2016 23:49

OP, if you got back a page or so I asked when was the last time you were called into school and what was it that specifically necessitated you having to attend?

gobbynorthernbird · 27/01/2016 23:49

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Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:50

He is allowed to watch TV, any channel, up until 7 pm and games - he has a few for his DS, but they're all suitable for 7+... As for the phrases, the last time I was called into school, he had said to a girl "I'm going to put this in you" and he was referring to a pencil. It feels really quite horrible, that this sounds so dreadful that it doesn't seem 'genuine', that's really quite upsetting :(

OP posts:
IslandGirlie · 27/01/2016 23:51

It sounds like your son is struggling with his fathers death, has he been offered any therapy sessions?

DixieNormas · 27/01/2016 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:51

Thank you a lot liinyo and gobby what are you on about? Angry

OP posts:
bessiebumptious2 · 27/01/2016 23:53

AutumnSky123 I guess it's hard to know where to start or how to get any insight unless we know what he's saying and in what context. It could become clear immediately, or it could be that it leads to recommendations from people who may have gone through a similar thing.

Your situation is more complex because of him losing his DF. How are you doing with that? How are you feeling about it? It's early days so I could make an assumption that you're struggling with it?

What are your thoughts about where it may be coming from?

becksblue · 27/01/2016 23:53

I'm sorry but mn is not the place for advice for this type of issue. If you were truly worried you would seek appropriate professional opinions.

Liinyo I would urge you to not lose sight of the fact that this is an anonymous forum.

QuietWhenReading · 27/01/2016 23:55

Autumn the reason a few posters are being cautious is that this is obviously a very serious subject and your posting style is a bit... detached.

I'm sure this is incredibly difficult but it is hard for people to give advice if info comes in dribs and drabs.

You will appreciate that trolls do target MN and therefore people are careful at sharing when it's this kind of topic.

Only1scoop · 27/01/2016 23:56

I wouldn't post this in Aibu Op.

There are other headers under topics possibly more suitable.

Get some professional help. What have school said?

Original poster
AutumnSky123 · 27/01/2016 23:56

I just explained one comment he made and I'm finding it very tough, I am, but I'm trying my best to hang in there and try and parent my son the best I can, I admit I'm making a lot of mistakes, but it's easier just to give in and I know that isn't the right attitude, but he's such a difficult little boy and I struggle a lot. Especially after a full week of work - he goes to DM and he is well behaved and when he comes home, he is awful all over again... These phrases, I have no clue, the only possible cause is school or clubs, but it seems so unlikely, considering this is so "unbelievable" he must be the only 7 year old who knows such phrases.

OP posts:
becksblue · 27/01/2016 23:56

op surely you can appreciate that there are some sick minds out there who would love to engage in this type of conversation.

I'm truly sorry if this is going on for you but I stand by this is not the right place for advice. You don't know who you are talking to either.

bessiebumptious2 · 27/01/2016 23:57

But... I think I'd be a bit detached if I'd just lost my partner and was struggling with my 7 year old, tbh. It could be that OP is a little lost right now.

Shineyshoes10 · 27/01/2016 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.