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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just think actually you dont know, or youve forgotten

160 replies

Dameshazaba · 06/12/2015 23:24

I am still up tidying and cleaning. I am by no means the mummy martyr. This is just simply the amount of shit that needs to be done after a weekend. I work 3.5, dh full time and this is just the fact of the matter if you want your kids to arrive at school with clean clothes, having eaten home cooked meals over the weekend, having gone to a kids party and done an activity. We have not even had a social engagement of any sort all weekend, unless you count buying the Xmas tree and decorating it. I am literally just doing the basics. I am exhausted with no time to myself except a bath this morning while ds was at football and DD napped. Friends who don't have their own family envy me my family time, parents and in laws want to see us more- I want to shout- come and help me with the fricking washing and cleaning!!! Just so I am not judged by every fucker!! Fact. Rant over.

OP posts:
shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:28

Do you have very high standards or lots of dcs?

tthisisgettingboring · 06/12/2015 23:31

The grass is always greener though isn't it? I went to a single friends' house on Friday and it is beautifully kept and decorated. I love my family dearly but oh dear lord I just fancied an evening in her gorgeous, tidy little house!

KeepOnMoving1 · 06/12/2015 23:32

I think maybe time management might be a problem for you. Why is there so much of chores and how could it possibly be?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/12/2015 23:33

We have been away all weekend; I am sitting on my arse mumsnetting. Washing for the week was done before we went away. Kids have just had a sandwich for supper.

I do not have particularly high standards though.

shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:35

I don't get it. I have 4 dcs, over the weekend they do 5 clubs, we all cleaned for an hour, been to a party and had homecooked meals bith nights. Their uniforms are ready.

shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:36

Oh and a trip to a and e

Original poster
Dameshazaba · 06/12/2015 23:36

As I say... We both work, we both get tired. There's a lot to do by the Weekend. Granted, I'm whinging, but it's time consuming

OP posts:
shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:37

Whinge away but why so much work?

Original poster
Dameshazaba · 06/12/2015 23:37

Shut up, I'm not trying to be goady, but do you work?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dameshazaba · 06/12/2015 23:39

Just basic cleaning, organising and tidying - dm said to me the other day oh I can't ever fill the dishwasher. Bf who is lovely said- surely you can bugger off midweek for a spa? Etc. Etc. Etc

OP posts:
shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:39

No but I have several health condidtions and dh who does a 50 hour week. But thats by the by as its you who moaning. Just wondering why so much work? You haven't answered any questions

ExitPursuedByABear · 06/12/2015 23:39

My kitchen is a tip. I am in bed. It will keep.

ExitPursuedByABear · 06/12/2015 23:41

And in the time you have posted on here .....

KeepOnMoving1 · 06/12/2015 23:41

Work out a chore list between you and dh. Have a routine for getting things done. Something is wrong if this is what you are always doing.

RJnomore1 · 06/12/2015 23:42

I work full time, very responsible job, do lots of voluntary work, two kids, dh works full time, kids do lots of activities, both of us gym 5 days a week, I've been away all weekend doing a sports thing, dh worked yesterday and was with me today, and I'm sat drinking wine since I got home (day off tomorrow due to sports thing)

Uniforms clean and ironed, lunches sorted, house admittedly messy but I refuse to be a martyr to my house. We are all clean, welded, busy and happy. It's a touch patronising to ask someone if they work full time just because they're feeling under control.

Does your dh pull his weight?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/12/2015 23:44

Break down your weekemnd chore list for us Dame. The Mumsnet massive will help you cut corners become more efficient.

shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 23:45

Thats a good idea tinkly

Norest · 06/12/2015 23:45

How old are the children? Can they help out at all?

I agree housework and chores like sorting school uniform out is tedious..but I have never found it takes very long for each task?

I work, worked a long day Saturday, and was also out of my house for most of the weekend. I arrived home at 4pm this afternoon. So I've done all the cleaning and prep for the week this afternoon, such as washing uniform and sorting packed lunch stuff out (picked up food on the way home this afternoon) as well as dinner etc and still had time for internet stuff, reading, watching a TV programme. Chores took maybe a couple of hours, tops.

I just can't understand how the basics take so long? Maybe it is different standards..hard to say unless you break down what each task was.

TeaFathers · 06/12/2015 23:45

YANBU.
could the GPs take the DCs for a bit at weekends to give you some respite?

CakeMountain · 06/12/2015 23:48

OP - I get it Smile There are some goady fuckers on here sometimes Grin. If, as you say, you want a nice clean house, decent meals as opposed to a frickin sandwich for supper ffs and to spend a bit of time with your children, it is hard work.

I too spend last night at a party and then a childless friend and her house is immaculate. She lost her baby at 24/weeks though, so I'll keep my wrecked house, thanks.

lucymootoo · 06/12/2015 23:51

I aim to have all uniforms (myself and DH included) washed and hung up for going to bed on fri evening. I iron them all on Monday morning for the week.

Could you cook a bit extra for your meals during the week and have leftovers on a Sat/Sun? We normally have a take out or something quick like a pizza, nachos on a Friday, left overs on Saturday, roast on a Sunday then leftovers again on Monday (also get weekly shop delivered that evening).

tthisisgettingboring · 06/12/2015 23:52

Some people are just far more efficient than others though regardless of time and often it's the busier ones. I'm useless and as usual will be scurrying around hunting for uniform at 6.30am in the morning and cursing myself for being so rubbish Hmm.

lucymootoo · 06/12/2015 23:53

But I understand what you mean I'm often running around at 11pm tidying shit up!! With one sick DC this weekend I haven't cooked, cleaned or managed to shower!!! I'm off work tomorrow though so the whole day will be spent catching up. For it all to be ruined come Tuesday Angry

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/12/2015 23:58

Nasty Jibe Cake but my kids had a sandwich for supper because we've been away all weekend at their grandparents, where they had a massive roast beef lunch.

I didn't really feel like cooking after driving 250 miles, slacker that I am.

goingmadinthecountry · 07/12/2015 00:21

I am a total slob so I turn the laundry into a non job - can swap it over during adverts if necessary. Probably did 5/6 loads this weekend without noticing. I cook all meals from scratch but turn it into a sociable activity - chatted to ds and his gf, drinking wine while stirring risotto last night. It's a mindset and it took me a long time to move from being martyr to chilled mum. I do all the same stuff, just view it differently.

I can do the dishwasher during a Christmas film ad break too. Watch TV only while ironing school tops. Lunch will take the time it takes my coffee to filter in the morning. Unless it's leftovers I'm not making it the night before - yucky sandwiches!! We'll all be out of the house by 7.30. Relax and live a little.

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