Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

AIBU?

To just think actually you dont know, or youve forgotten

160 replies

Dameshazaba · 06/12/2015 23:24

I am still up tidying and cleaning. I am by no means the mummy martyr. This is just simply the amount of shit that needs to be done after a weekend. I work 3.5, dh full time and this is just the fact of the matter if you want your kids to arrive at school with clean clothes, having eaten home cooked meals over the weekend, having gone to a kids party and done an activity. We have not even had a social engagement of any sort all weekend, unless you count buying the Xmas tree and decorating it. I am literally just doing the basics. I am exhausted with no time to myself except a bath this morning while ds was at football and DD napped. Friends who don't have their own family envy me my family time, parents and in laws want to see us more- I want to shout- come and help me with the fricking washing and cleaning!!! Just so I am not judged by every fucker!! Fact. Rant over.

OP posts:

Report

ghostyslovesheep · 07/12/2015 10:14

yes but I have been a lone parent since they where 6mths, 4 and 7 - you can still get stuff done daily

the OP only has one child at home - the other is at school

and there is no way I would be ironing a 15 year olds clothes - or putting them away! My 13 year old can iron

Dameshazaba · 07/12/2015 10:15

Only lovers, that's my ds aged 6 I'm talking about, not dh

OP posts:

Dameshazaba · 07/12/2015 10:15

I don't iron either

OP posts:

Preciousxbane · 07/12/2015 10:16

Not ironing for me involves.

Remove stuff from machine immediately, shake, hang up.

There will be minor creases possibly but they disappear with your body heat.
I have put stuff in a tied pillowcase that is hand wash or dry clean only, it's a risk but I am buggered if I'm going to wash stuff by hand or waste money with dry cleaning let alone schlepp to the dry cleaners.

OnlyLovers · 07/12/2015 10:16

Oh yes, sorry OP!

christmascracker2015 · 07/12/2015 10:19

I think what I meant ghosty is when they are younger it is the sleeo deprivation that gets to you. I am probably putting my own circumstances in though as I worked full time from when all mine were tiny babies. I do loads of crazy things due to sleep deprivation.

ghostyslovesheep · 07/12/2015 10:23

I get you Christmas I am just guessing that at 6 and 1 sleep deprivation might be less of an issue

I honestly think it's a sink or swim thing - you just have to do it when it needs doing then it doesn't pile up - exhausting though it can be - it means you have more free time long term

christmascracker2015 · 07/12/2015 10:26

Mine are 7, 3 and 1 and I was up 6 times last night. It does depend on your kids and then it does impact your day. I am pumped up on caffiene today facing my to do list. This is me relaxing compared to normal life

noeffingidea · 07/12/2015 10:31

OP, I think you are probably at the worst of it because you have a 1 year old. Obviously they have to come first before housework.
What I found helpful was to have a massive blitz (maybe once a week?), get as much done as possible which means you have less to do over the rest of the time. It's more like maintanence then, plus you are more motivated.
My other tip is to use cleaning wipes if you can afford them. I find them much quicker and easier to use than a cloth and spray or (even worse) a bowl of water.
Also, tumble drying clothes helps to cut down on ironing, as long as you take them out and hang them up or fold them as soon as the cycle finishes.

christmascracker2015 · 07/12/2015 10:34

Add to the above tip use tumble dryer balls if you are using dryer a lot. Couple of quid of ebay and npower told me they save you a quarter on your dryer bill. I have bought some myself recently.

KakiFruit · 07/12/2015 10:36

Totally agree with SummerNights1986 about ironing. I would just add - bear ironing in mind when you buy clothes. Some materials need ironing no matter how you wash or dry them, so I don't buy clothes made from them

MrsGradyOldLady · 07/12/2015 10:37

At the moment I tumble dry most things and I don't take it out straight away so that's probably where I'm going wrong. I don't iron my own things or my husband's. It's mainly school uniform - which all adds up (5 pairs of trousers, 10 skirts, 10 shirts and 5 polo shirts per week. Plus cardigans etc). I'm honestly not precious about it buy they are all really creased or I wouldn't bother. I agree the 15 year olds should do their own. My daughter will but my son just doesn't care and I had to make him strip this morning so that I could iron his uniform that he'd put on creased as he looked like he belonged to no one.

noeffingidea · 07/12/2015 10:45

Just noticed your point in your OP about homecooked meals, OP. There was a thread on here recently about meals that are quick and easy to prepare. And don't forget Jamies meals in 30 minutes .

TheSecondViola · 07/12/2015 10:52

10 skirts and five trousers a week? Do you have, like, 8 children?

LaContessaDiPlump · 07/12/2015 10:56

But Jamie's meals in 30 minutes take at least an hour, noeffingidea!

howabout · 07/12/2015 11:01

1 year olds are hard work. On the plus side it sounds like they are out of the house while you are working which makes a lot less mess and gives you a break from running around after them (sorry just couldn't help myself pointing out that sometimes working is not harder work).

That said I agree toddler years are hard work but the older I get the less I bother about "keeping up appearances".

Why do you split laundry tasks between mine and his? Surely easier for 1 person to do everyone's and take turns daily?

yorkshapudding · 07/12/2015 11:33

I think you've gotten a hard time on here OP. These threads always seem to attract 'super mum' types who have six kids, work 60 hours a week, run marathons in their spare time and still find it easy to keep a spotless house and cook from scratch every day whilst maintaining an exciting social life. I take it with a big pinch of salt. I think it's sad that when someone admits to struggling to juggle work, kids and household stuff (which is a very, very common problem) they're dismissed as a "martyr" or made to feel inadequate and told they should be finding everything easy just because someone else does.
It's difficult to get housework done with a toddler under your feet. I have had to lower my standards and try not to stress as long as the basics are done. Then every so often I'll get DH to take DD out for a few hours and blitz the place. It takes me half the time when the house is empty.

SausageSmuggler · 07/12/2015 11:34

I sympathise completely op! I have 3 DC's 5 and under who are... Full on shall we say. Plus 4th child (DH). trying to keep on top of the day to day stuff is never ending. Also mind numbingly boring! I'm sure it does get better, ignore the supermums who have it all together and can operate without any kind of break.

MrsGradyOldLady · 07/12/2015 12:03

No just 3 children - 15/15/8. I think they must roll around in mud though. They probably do actually just to piss me off.

reallywittyname · 07/12/2015 12:23

It is relentless op.

Here are a couple of tips to add:
Never go upstairs empty handed,
And
Clean the bathroom while the dc are in the bath, then when they're out of the tub and running about starkers shrieking you can give the bath a quick spray and rinse.

CheerfulYank · 07/12/2015 12:27

I'm home all the time and the house has never been less tidy. I've got 3 DC (8, 2, 6 months) and a mad half grown Labrador who eats everything in sight. I also CM three days a week. (I do keep the house tidy when other people's children are going to be in it :) )

It's just so relentless. I like the clothes, floors, dishes rule.

NeedsAMousekatool · 07/12/2015 12:41

Some really obnoxious responses here. I have a non sleeping 1 year old who fights getting dressed, fights nappy changes, pulls things out of cupboards onto the floor, makes a mess at every meal. By the time I have her and me washed and dressed and fed, and made the kitchen hygienic after meals, and taken her out for a bit of fresh air and got her to nap and done some laundry and swept the kitchen floor for the thousandth fucking time I'm sick to the back teeth of doing shitty wifework. It is a struggle for some people. Other people who don't struggle, great for them, but I'm not that wonderful.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Grumpyoldblonde · 07/12/2015 12:53

I have read this thread several times and I don't see one obnoxious, nasty or goady response, simply sound advice from people who manage to keep on top of things and have suggested short cuts. We all have different lives, different standards and family sizes but honestly - obnoxious response? I fail to see any.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/12/2015 13:05

I don't think anyone is being obnoxious to the OP. A few people are suggesting she chills a bit though and getting nasty comments back for that.

I have four kids, (two older now at Uni), work part time, volunteer, have a disability that limits my energy. My kids are clean, organised, exercised and fed from-scratch food. My house is reasonably clean but not showhome pristine.

What has worked for us is having systems in place and not sweating the small stuff.

So I meal plan, shop online, batch cook etc. But if it all goes pear shaped, no one ever died from having a sandwich for supper. I buy school uniform that can be bunged in the washing machine and tumble dried, I never iron anything. My laundry systems are efficient, oranised and backed up by good appliances. My nine year old can bung a load in if the worst comes to the worst.

It's awful to be slaving at midnight and I can't see how it should be necessary.

shutupandshop · 07/12/2015 13:15

Obnoxious? Oh its one if thise threads were if you don't agree with op and dare to ask questions you get a mouthful.

Btw op I worked and studied full time before ddc3/4. So I do know what its like.

Unless there are other reasons, such as I repeat you have loads of dcs or very high standards, there no reason to be doing housework late into the night. You have 1 set of unforms? Do you make it every week?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.