To just think actually you dont know, or youve forgotten

[Dameshazaba]

I am still up tidying and cleaning. I am by no means the mummy martyr. This is just simply the amount of shit that needs to be done after a weekend. I work 3.5, dh full time and this is just the fact of the matter if you want your kids to arrive at school with clean clothes, having eaten home cooked meals over the weekend, having gone to a kids party and done an activity. We have not even had a social engagement of any sort all weekend, unless you count buying the Xmas tree and decorating it. I am literally just doing the basics. I am exhausted with no time to myself except a bath this morning while ds was at football and DD napped. Friends who don't have their own family envy me my family time, parents and in laws want to see us more- I want to shout- come and help me with the fricking washing and cleaning!!! Just so I am not judged by every fucker!! Fact. Rant over.

[moooooo83]

I agree it is relentless -but something I got told (for something else completely unrelated) made me see that a lot of it is a state of mind. It has got to be done - accept that you are fighting a losing battle, you can't change it so try not to resent it (easier said than done), just keep your head above water. It won't last forever...it is short term.
Don't mean to sound smug - and not sure if I can explain it very well -it is a bit like someone said upthread about using more energy worrying about how far behind you are than actually doing 'the chores'...
I think I am intrinsically lazy - so will try anything to make my life as easy as possible -keep trying until I find something that works for me.
After a few false starts I have the laundry putting away sussed...(I am resigned to doing it cos teen leaves it hanging around and eventually it makes it way back into the dirty laundry without ever been worn )
Although I don't put DPs away - he has a shelf in his part of the wardrobe and I put his on there and he sorts it out or not - if I couldn't get it on the shelf I would bin it... he does do some of his own washing too -but then I will strip the beds to find he has just put a load on ...
Doing most of the washing in one day on the same day every week helps...as does a tumble dryer - cos then you can put the vast majority away in one go too every week. (If for some reason the laundry spreads over a few days I find I am drowning in it in its various stages...)
But the biggest thing is to have somewhere to put it - enough drawer space for what you need...
I have a clothes recycling bag on the go all the time (and I go past a clothes recycling bin once a week so I can get rid easily)-when I put the laundry away if I can't fit something in a drawer easily something goes - I am ruthless about it.
It also means that DCs are less likely not be able to close a drawer and leave it open with the contents spilling out ...
(I do vac pack away twice a year winter/summer clothes that might still fit the next year)
And I have a new in, old out policy on things like school uniform - I keep it on hangers - so you can see what you have so you can do it easily.
Same with bedding - I have two sets for each bed (and one spare set for the DCs beds just in case of illness/accidents).

[Iggi999]

The thing that strikes is just how quickly things turn to shit after you've sorted it all out!!
So true.

[Notimefortossers]

It's putting all the laundry away that I find the worse things

This!! In bucket loads!! I currently have 6 bags of folded laundry sat in my bedroom waiting to be put away. It takes minutes when you actually do it so why is it always SUCH a chore! There are 5 of us, soon to be 6, but my oldest is only 7. I did try training the 7 and 4 year old to put their own laundry away a couple of months ago, but it did not go well ;) My DH is the worst actually.

The thing that strikes me is just how quickly things turn to shit after you've sorted it all out!! We had a house inspection last week Thurs so the house was immaculate. Only 5 days later I had to take the morning off work to do it all again as my DD1 had a friend coming round after school. So today before school pick up immaculate again (apart from my laundry bedroom bombing, totally acceptable ;) ). Right now, following play date the kitchen is a mess again (me made chocolate lollies and apple crumble) then just you know, feeding them dinner (unavoidable really). I absolutely can NOT get up to do it now. I can't. Been on my feet since 7am following a less than perfect night with the 10 month old.

I'll do it in the morning before school. Meh

[bimandbam]

I hear you op!

I have 2 dcs. One at comprehensive and one toddler. I work from hime about 4 hours a week.

There is always something to do. Always.

Yesterday I did all the downstairs. Today I have vacuumed and cleaned up stairs. I have beds to make back up when the bedding is washed and dried, downstairs looks like a fisher price bimb has gone off. I need to vacuum downstairs, clean the downstairs loo, book a windscreen repair, sort some more clothes out for putting away, wait in for the electrian, buy some milk, do lunch for me and ds, look for something in the freezer for tea, take dcs to a family birthday party later plus deal with a demanding toddler for the day.

Tomorrow I have to sort out the freezer and kitchen cupboards ready for Christmas food, will need to tidy downstairs again at least twice, sort ds's toys out ready for his birthday styff coming at the weekend, finish wrapping his presents, rustle up some proper food for tea after freezer surprise tonight, try and get the rest of the outside Christmas liggts out of the shed etc etc etc.

It's fucking tedious. And my standards aren't tgat high. I do enough to keep us in clean clothes, able to have friends drop in unexpectedly without feeling shame and decent cooked food at least 5 nights a week. Friday is takeaway night. Sunday it's graze in what you can find day as we tend to have lunch out somewhere.

I long for a childfree day just to get shit done. Dp works long hours in a physically demanding job so although he pitches in when he is around (when prompted) he is usually exhausted after work and is in bed from 9pm.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

There are six people in my house too Dixie but five of them put their own laundry away. I am currently training my youngest who is 9. If anyone in your family is older than 9 or so, then I think they can be putting their own away.

[Movingonmymind]

Yep, feel for you op! Doc "off sick" on my work day but of course, I'm the one off work with them, 'd'h swanned off to the office. Stroppy teen needs taxi, cat needs vet, mil needs a cuddle, washing needs doing, friends need contacting, presents ordering, homework supervising, housework done, food shopping, cooking... Dh says I "lack focus" - I could punch him in the face right now 😡

And dsis envies my family time and wonders why I can find it hard. She has no fucking clue. Or empathy.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I am with the op on this. It doesn't matter what I do my house is a mess. I can clear my kitchen work top and walk away. 10 mins later I will find random bits of paper on it. I don't even know where they came from.

Judging by other posters who supposedly get everything done there is either a lot of the term "we do this" or "we do that" and a lot of expectation that other people in the household help. Also I wonder how many people are in the posters house during the day. Mine has various people coming and going due to building work and ds is home edded so I am constantly helping him with work, both dc are dyslexic so need help with school work. No one ever mentions doing homework with their dc or spending the evening at various after school activities with their dc.
Atm I am having a coffee whilst ds is working on French and am nearby to check on his progress
Can I ask where Infinity do you get your non iron shirts from as the ones dh has still need ironing.

[christmascracker2015]

Yeah maybe so. Don't worry op this happened to me to and it made me seriously ill as my parents just said I should be able to cope. I was signed off in a seriously ill way and it has taken me time to recover. I wish someone had told me it was ok not to be able to cope sometimes as until this point I had never struggled with anything in my life. I was the type everyone admired regarding everything I could manage to do. You are only human and everyone had their limits. Chin up and it will get better. I wouldn't have believed that myself a couple of months back before my breakdown.

Take it slow and be kind to yourself is something the doctor said to me. I am finally learning what that means for the first time in my life. No one has ever said anything as kind to me as that before the doctor did.

[OnlyLovers]

No, I think some posters have been a bit obnoxious. All the head-tilting 'Why exactly does x or y take you so long? I can do uniforms/dinner/tidying/ironing/Iron Woman training/Nobel Prize-winning theoretical physics in oooh, about two hours...' type posts.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

She was asked why she struggles and given lots of sound advice which she threw back in peoples faces, but she gives zero fucks (here words, nice). If she wanted sympathy AIBU is perhaps not the place. Mumsnet Housekeeping may have been better or for 'Aw Hun, yeah me too' , Netmums

[christmascracker2015]

The op has been told that she shouldn't struggle by some people. I think she was looking for support and sympathy not others coming on saying what they could do. If she is feeling a bit down it might make her defensive as it isn't nice to struggle, especially when you have always been a capable managing type of person. Probably projecting there a little but still think we should all play nice.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

The only obnoxious remarks were made by the extremely rude Op.

[Infinitynose]

I do minimum house work, buy non iron shirts, cook basic but healthy home cooked meals so I can spend my time mnetting and reading books and doing fun rubbish like making paper snowmen.


I am goady abouts this and proud! Who cares about the other stuff really? As long as you don't live in a pit.

[christmascracker2015]

Sometimes things that aren't too bad seem very difficult when we are going through difficulties. This happened to me and I had to be signed off work for a bit. These things happen in life when sometimes things are harder to cope with than usual. No need for some of the remarks from above posters.

[Stratter5]

Woah. Things changed whilst I was posting

[Stratter5]

OP doesn't 'only work 3.5 days'.

She works full time, she's a parent. Or do non working parents not work at all?

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I'd like to see actual sheep doing a 10K fun run. That would be amusing.

[TheSecondViola]

OP; AIBU?
Lots of people: yes you are.
OP; you don't understand unless you have young children and a part time job
People; We do have those things and more.
OP; you're all bitches and I don't care.

Dickish.

[wannabestressfree]

I.am hoping sandwich suppers becomes a 'thing' like soft play and family time :)

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Er, mine are the sandwich suppers

Dame you obviously only wanted to wallow and not receive any constructive advice. I, for one, will be leaving you to your Mummy Martyrdom.

[Iggi999]

Ofgs people, behave yourselves. If I wanted to witness pointless fighting I'd go and get the kids back up.

[shutupandshop]

Ooo 10 k fun run. Go sheep!