To just think actually you dont know, or youve forgotten

[Dameshazaba]

I am still up tidying and cleaning. I am by no means the mummy martyr. This is just simply the amount of shit that needs to be done after a weekend. I work 3.5, dh full time and this is just the fact of the matter if you want your kids to arrive at school with clean clothes, having eaten home cooked meals over the weekend, having gone to a kids party and done an activity. We have not even had a social engagement of any sort all weekend, unless you count buying the Xmas tree and decorating it. I am literally just doing the basics. I am exhausted with no time to myself except a bath this morning while ds was at football and DD napped. Friends who don't have their own family envy me my family time, parents and in laws want to see us more- I want to shout- come and help me with the fricking washing and cleaning!!! Just so I am not judged by every fucker!! Fact. Rant over.

I am with the op on this. It doesn't matter what I do my house is a mess. I can clear my kitchen work top and walk away. 10 mins later I will find random bits of paper on it. I don't even know where they came from.

Judging by other posters who supposedly get everything done there is either a lot of the term "we do this" or "we do that" and a lot of expectation that other people in the household help. Also I wonder how many people are in the posters house during the day. Mine has various people coming and going due to building work and ds is home edded so I am constantly helping him with work, both dc are dyslexic so need help with school work. No one ever mentions doing homework with their dc or spending the evening at various after school activities with their dc.
Atm I am having a coffee whilst ds is working on French and am nearby to check on his progress
Can I ask where Infinity do you get your non iron shirts from as the ones dh has still need ironing.

Yep, feel for you op! Doc "off sick" on my work day but of course, I'm the one off work with them, 'd'h swanned off to the office. Stroppy teen needs taxi, cat needs vet, mil needs a cuddle, washing needs doing, friends need contacting, presents ordering, homework supervising, housework done, food shopping, cooking... Dh says I "lack focus" - I could punch him in the face right now 😡

And dsis envies my family time and wonders why I can find it hard. She has no fucking clue. Or empathy.

There are six people in my house too Dixie but five of them put their own laundry away. I am currently training my youngest who is 9. If anyone in your family is older than 9 or so, then I think they can be putting their own away.

I hear you op!

I have 2 dcs. One at comprehensive and one toddler. I work from hime about 4 hours a week.

There is always something to do. Always.

Yesterday I did all the downstairs. Today I have vacuumed and cleaned up stairs. I have beds to make back up when the bedding is washed and dried, downstairs looks like a fisher price bimb has gone off. I need to vacuum downstairs, clean the downstairs loo, book a windscreen repair, sort some more clothes out for putting away, wait in for the electrian, buy some milk, do lunch for me and ds, look for something in the freezer for tea, take dcs to a family birthday party later plus deal with a demanding toddler for the day.

Tomorrow I have to sort out the freezer and kitchen cupboards ready for Christmas food, will need to tidy downstairs again at least twice, sort ds's toys out ready for his birthday styff coming at the weekend, finish wrapping his presents, rustle up some proper food for tea after freezer surprise tonight, try and get the rest of the outside Christmas liggts out of the shed etc etc etc.

It's fucking tedious. And my standards aren't tgat high. I do enough to keep us in clean clothes, able to have friends drop in unexpectedly without feeling shame and decent cooked food at least 5 nights a week. Friday is takeaway night. Sunday it's graze in what you can find day as we tend to have lunch out somewhere.

I long for a childfree day just to get shit done. Dp works long hours in a physically demanding job so although he pitches in when he is around (when prompted) he is usually exhausted after work and is in bed from 9pm.

It's putting all the laundry away that I find the worse things

This!! In bucket loads!! I currently have 6 bags of folded laundry sat in my bedroom waiting to be put away. It takes minutes when you actually do it so why is it always SUCH a chore! There are 5 of us, soon to be 6, but my oldest is only 7. I did try training the 7 and 4 year old to put their own laundry away a couple of months ago, but it did not go well ;) My DH is the worst actually.

The thing that strikes me is just how quickly things turn to shit after you've sorted it all out!! We had a house inspection last week Thurs so the house was immaculate. Only 5 days later I had to take the morning off work to do it all again as my DD1 had a friend coming round after school. So today before school pick up immaculate again (apart from my laundry bedroom bombing, totally acceptable ;) ). Right now, following play date the kitchen is a mess again (me made chocolate lollies and apple crumble) then just you know, feeding them dinner (unavoidable really). I absolutely can NOT get up to do it now. I can't. Been on my feet since 7am following a less than perfect night with the 10 month old.

I'll do it in the morning before school. Meh

The thing that strikes is just how quickly things turn to shit after you've sorted it all out!!
So true.

I agree it is relentless -but something I got told (for something else completely unrelated) made me see that a lot of it is a state of mind. It has got to be done - accept that you are fighting a losing battle, you can't change it so try not to resent it (easier said than done), just keep your head above water. It won't last forever...it is short term.
Don't mean to sound smug - and not sure if I can explain it very well -it is a bit like someone said upthread about using more energy worrying about how far behind you are than actually doing 'the chores'...
I think I am intrinsically lazy - so will try anything to make my life as easy as possible -keep trying until I find something that works for me.
After a few false starts I have the laundry putting away sussed...(I am resigned to doing it cos teen leaves it hanging around and eventually it makes it way back into the dirty laundry without ever been worn )
Although I don't put DPs away - he has a shelf in his part of the wardrobe and I put his on there and he sorts it out or not - if I couldn't get it on the shelf I would bin it... he does do some of his own washing too -but then I will strip the beds to find he has just put a load on ...
Doing most of the washing in one day on the same day every week helps...as does a tumble dryer - cos then you can put the vast majority away in one go too every week. (If for some reason the laundry spreads over a few days I find I am drowning in it in its various stages...)
But the biggest thing is to have somewhere to put it - enough drawer space for what you need...
I have a clothes recycling bag on the go all the time (and I go past a clothes recycling bin once a week so I can get rid easily)-when I put the laundry away if I can't fit something in a drawer easily something goes - I am ruthless about it.
It also means that DCs are less likely not be able to close a drawer and leave it open with the contents spilling out ...
(I do vac pack away twice a year winter/summer clothes that might still fit the next year)

And I have a new in, old out policy on things like school uniform - I keep it on hangers - so you can see what you have so you can do it easily.

Same with bedding - I have two sets for each bed (and one spare set for the DCs beds just in case of illness/accidents).