To be narked a grown woman is texting my 11yo ds?

[OiledBegg]

Myself and my 11yo ds's father are divorced but have a great co-parenting relationship.

Through a hobby, exH is friends with a woman who is in her mid 30s and married. No children.

Ds is also involved with this hobby so has met this woman many times and they get on well and see each other frequently. She bought him a little bday present which I thought was sweet.

For ds's bday a week ago he got his first mobile phone. Mainly to keep in touch with the parent he isn't with that particular weekend, and to get him used to keeping in touch with us ready for when he's older and more independent.

ExH clearly gave this woman ds's number as she's been texting him a few times in the last week.

The first message was some quote from a film/series that I don't know of which was "hey baby, you smell good you been bathing in cupcakes and rainbows again?"

Then he replied, and she text back with "now you have my number you contact me if you need to, about anything at all ok?xxx"

Aibu to find this annoying, and feel kinda undermined as his mother? The other texts are just "morning! Have a good day at school!" and stuff like that.

Also is this even appropriate behaviour? What if ds were a girl and this adult friend were male, surely it'd be majorly off so why is it different that he's a boy?

Or am I being jealous and precious and totally overreacting?

Utterly inappropriate IMO. I would be blocking her.

Hmm, wouldn't be comfortable with that tbh, but not sure how I would deal with it

YANBU.

Makes me feel a bit uncomfortable

Errr, that seems off to me. Those are the type of texts you'd send to somebody you're dating (or grooming).

A grown woman texting an 11 year old with a quote about him smelling good sounds distinctly dodgy. She certainly seems over-involved with him if she's texting him in the mornings just to wish him a good day.

What the?!? Weird.

Wonder if she has eyes for your ex and so trying to get friendly with son

id give her a ring and tell her to back the fuck off your 11yo ffs, and tell her she's blocked.

One more contact and you'll be seeking legal advice for harassment of a child

This feels inappropriate because it is inappropriate.

Then would tell your exh NOT To give out his sons number again.

That's really weird. I'd be blocking her number.

One more strike and the number gets changed.

If they were chatting about the hobby I'd think it a bit weird that she was contacting him privately but not be too worried, but sending him little pleasantries and quotes which could come across as flirty if it was between adults is creepy. ExH needs to talk to her.

Totally inappropriate. I would block her and tell your ex why.

Not appropriate. If it was a man you'd be immediately concerned, don't assume women aren't a problem.

As for the hoards of posters who'll post following this saying that there's not a peodophile on every street corner - there are a whole lot more than you realise, figured out this week support that.

Block her number and get your DH to ask her not to contact Ds. If he won't, you will need to speak to this woman

Weird.

I text some of DS's mates, just the odd funny meme or something. But not daily.

She's being kind of odd.

wtf? Block her number. And delete her from your son's contacts and tell him not to share his number with weirdos.

Yeah dodgy. I also think she might be after your ex.

That doesn't sound appropriate. She may mean it in a way that is intending to be supportive but it's not coming across that way. I don't think it's all bad for an adult to have an 11yos number - a friend's daughter often comes to my house to make Christmas presents or birthday cakes for her parents and has done since she was 12 - but I text her with the blessing of BOTH her parents.

I cannot for the life of me think why a grown woman would want to strike up a text friendship with an eleven year old boy. Nope.

Putting herself forward as a confidante is bloody sinister as well.

I would screen shot them, or take a pic with my phone.
You need to talk to your ex - and I would block her tbh. She sounds weird. Does your DS want her to stop?

No, I'd be massively concerned by the tone of messages, rather than worried about her trying to get in with your ex.

If it was an 11 year old girl getting texts from a grown man we'd all say it was grooming. The gender of the roles make no difference. Block her, it's utterly inappropriate.

No it's seriously weird . I wouldn't text any of my kids friends , even the ones who are teenagers . I mean 16, 17 year olds , most of whom I have known for year and some I also know their parents .

And other adults ( non family members ) don't text my kids either .

Not appropriate and I'd be having a conversation with her about it.

My ex had, during our marriage, a female friend with a penchant for texting slushy nonsense to our kids.

We are now separated. He's with the weirdo now.

Dc have chosen to block her & have no contact with her.

I'd say a) she almost certainly has a thing for your ex hence playing mummies with your ds & b) since you're on good terms with him, you could have a chat & suggest h‏e should be the one to tell her her behaviour is inappropriate?