To be narked a grown woman is texting my 11yo ds?

[OiledBegg]

Myself and my 11yo ds's father are divorced but have a great co-parenting relationship.

Through a hobby, exH is friends with a woman who is in her mid 30s and married. No children.

Ds is also involved with this hobby so has met this woman many times and they get on well and see each other frequently. She bought him a little bday present which I thought was sweet.

For ds's bday a week ago he got his first mobile phone. Mainly to keep in touch with the parent he isn't with that particular weekend, and to get him used to keeping in touch with us ready for when he's older and more independent.

ExH clearly gave this woman ds's number as she's been texting him a few times in the last week.

The first message was some quote from a film/series that I don't know of which was "hey baby, you smell good you been bathing in cupcakes and rainbows again?"

Then he replied, and she text back with "now you have my number you contact me if you need to, about anything at all ok?xxx"

Aibu to find this annoying, and feel kinda undermined as his mother? The other texts are just "morning! Have a good day at school!" and stuff like that.

Also is this even appropriate behaviour? What if ds were a girl and this adult friend were male, surely it'd be majorly off so why is it different that he's a boy?

Or am I being jealous and precious and totally overreacting?

[OSETmum]

Very inappropriate, please don't assume that because she's a woman she's not dangerous. I think you need to act quickly on this..

[SoundFury]

I know this is a bit different but to give another side to the story. I got a mobile phone when I was 9, it was my Mum's old one and I had it for emergencies. None of my friends really had mobiles because kids didn't then. I used to text some of my Mum's friends because I was excited about having a phone and wanted someone to text. It was all very harmless.
I know you don't know her, but I guess you exH does? I mean, I doubt my dad knew that I was texting my Mum's friends (they were never a proper couple really).

[GruntledOne]

Firstly, she's single and using your son to 'get' to his father.

No, she's married. Which also suggests that she's not aiming to be stepmum, unless her marriage is on the skids.

[OiledBegg]

thatsnicedear I knew it was a quote as the text my ds sent afterwards was "is that from adventure?" And she said "sure is!"

[GloGirl]

Yes I'm also hoping it's a step mum wannabe because otherwise it's awful. Just the right side of not being able to phone the police.

As you are are on good terms with your son's father, talk to him first before you tell her to fuck off.

[OneMoreCasualty]

Thank goodness your DS has shared this with you.

[ohtheholidays]

OP have you checked with your ExH to make sure he did give the phone number to that women?If not that's what I'd be doing right now.

[HemanOrSheRa]

Bloody hell. I'd been absolutely furious. This is not acceptable at all. Is this woman involved with the hobby as part of a club? I wouldn't contact her at all but go straight to the Safeguarding Officer at the club. This needs to be dealt with in official capacity. Not on. At all.

[CocktailQueen]

Think of it the other way round - middle-aged man texting 11yo girl. Completely inappropriate.

Cupcakes and rainbows?? Yuk. Can't imagine any 11yo boy being pleased to get that text...

Delete and block her - and tell her why. Make sure she knows you're checking your ds's emails.

[Crazypetlady]

RJ one of the texts tell him to have a good day at school.
She is being inappropriate I would send a text and possibly log the messages with somebody anyway.

[atticusclaw2]

The fact that she's even thinking about him that much is enough to cause me concern.

[Comebackbutler]

This is crazy. I would tell your ex and let him deal with it.

[TesticleOfObjectivity]

I see what you're saying Soundfury, but it sounds as though this woman is iniating the texts. Besides I doubt any of your mum's friends would have text you back some dodgy, flirty quote.

[Fratelli]

Ewwww creepy! If you had a dd and it was an older man I bet your exh wouldn't allow it!

I would have a word with exh and explain it's highly inappropriate. If he disagrees I would phone her and have a word then block her number. Also speak to your ds about it.

I would also keep a record of everything. It sounds like she may be grooming him.

[RaspberryOverload]

I've done safeguarding training with the Scouts and this would worry me too.

I have an 11 yr old DS, and I check his phone. I'd be texting something similar to DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow and also telling the Ex, as he needs to know too.

[Crazypetlady]

I googled the hey baby quote and it only comes up with this thread no film, are you sure it is a film ?

[Waltermittythesequel]

hey baby, you smell good you been bathing in cupcakes and rainbows again?

This is not ok. And even if she has some bullshit story about how they were talking about the show, it's still not ok.

Does your ex know?

[Crazypetlady]

from a film even

[RJnomore1]

Sorry I missed the school text and that's the only way my brain could make sense of it

[seven201]

I'm a teacher and if I heard that one of my students was being texted like this I'd be obliged (rightly) to report it to safeguarding immediately. I think you need to speak to your ex now and send her a polite but firm** text saying that she must stop texting straight away. I think your ex should also speak to her face to face. You must always err on the side of caution with anything like this.

[RaspberryOverload]

Crazypetlady someone posted a link to the transcript of the programme earlier.

[FattyNinjaOwl]

This is not on
At all.
It's grooming. Just because she's a woman and ges a boy doesn't mean its not. It is wrong and she needs to be stopped

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

The episode from which that quote comes from is called Slow love according to google.

[Crazypetlady]

Must have missed it and I have RTFT oh dear thanks Raspberry

[aWowChristmasGuna]

Very odd. A comment about him bathing, and how he smells!? very inappropriate.