To be narked a grown woman is texting my 11yo ds?

[OiledBegg]

Myself and my 11yo ds's father are divorced but have a great co-parenting relationship.

Through a hobby, exH is friends with a woman who is in her mid 30s and married. No children.

Ds is also involved with this hobby so has met this woman many times and they get on well and see each other frequently. She bought him a little bday present which I thought was sweet.

For ds's bday a week ago he got his first mobile phone. Mainly to keep in touch with the parent he isn't with that particular weekend, and to get him used to keeping in touch with us ready for when he's older and more independent.

ExH clearly gave this woman ds's number as she's been texting him a few times in the last week.

The first message was some quote from a film/series that I don't know of which was "hey baby, you smell good you been bathing in cupcakes and rainbows again?"

Then he replied, and she text back with "now you have my number you contact me if you need to, about anything at all ok?xxx"

Aibu to find this annoying, and feel kinda undermined as his mother? The other texts are just "morning! Have a good day at school!" and stuff like that.

Also is this even appropriate behaviour? What if ds were a girl and this adult friend were male, surely it'd be majorly off so why is it different that he's a boy?

Or am I being jealous and precious and totally overreacting?

[lunar1]

Hope the messages have stopped now.

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

The message that made me feel most uncomfortable was her suggesting he approach her with anything he needs to talk about. Plus the 'morning' texts, she's ingratiating herself to him, turning herself in to the person for him to turn to. Add in the on trend Adventure Time quote and, blurgh- I think it is creepy grooming behaviour.

Trust your instincts, it's inappropriate.

[Lalakels]

I receive texts off my 8year old daughters friends. Probably, in the main because she is horribly dyslexic and can't read or write as well as her friends, so they try and organise their hectic social lives through me. One or two of them spend a lot of time at my house as their parents are busy / going thru break ups. And because my husband recently left and I'm dealing by being mumsy and focussing on kids stuff (instead of being out and keeping busy elsewhere) I have become a natural 'safe place' for two of the girls. First thing I did was speak to their parents and say 'happy to have them both here and it's good for my two BUT are you comfortable with them seeking my advice or texting me or being so tactile'. It's just polite and considerate to do so. Quite frankly I think this woman is overstepping the mark. It may not be sinister. She may just not have a life full of work or friends or her own family and she may genuinely like your son. But the offer of being his confidant indicates she thinks he might NEED 'to talk' and that is insulting to you as his mother unless she is concerned enough to speak to you or your ex about any concerns she has. And in the world we live in, adult friendships with kids are questioned and she should be able to see that it could be seen as innapripriate and either not do it, or cover her ass by telling his dad that she feels he is reaching out. YANBU and imo I would block her and not even mention it to son or ex

[Pettywoman]

Old thread alert.

[H0LDTHED00R]

I tutor my nephews and nieces (6 in total ages from 8 to 14), even though they're my family all conversations about the children go through the parents. It feels more natural that way and I expect their parents (my brother, sister and in-laws) to be involved with everything, there's no need for me to have private chats with the children. YANBU

[newtscamander]

wtf, she sounds like a paedo?! Seriously you need to speak to her and block her number.

[AnyFucker]

ZOMBIE THREAD

[BettyDraper1]

I don't know what level of bored i'd have to be to start texting an 11 yr old.

It's v. V. V. weird. Fuck her off.

[PovertyPain]

Take the hint.

[CraigN24]

I would be seriously worrie and would talk to her ASAP and make sure ur Ds Dad is also aware of it.

[MyCatWasRightAboutYou]

Good, I'm glad you're putting a stop to it. It does seem inappropriate. I have some younger friends through tumblr (like social media) I'm very aware of keeping boundaries and wouldn't talk to them one-on-one offsite. I wouldn't ever send them something like that quote, either. She might not be aware of how she's coming across, but that still doesn't make it alright. It concerns me why she would even want the number in the first place

[CraigN24]

Worried ^

[MyCatWasRightAboutYou]

Oh Ffs I didn't see how old this is

[WalkingBlind]

Giving advice to someone no longer in the situation who is no longer reading the zombie thread! Come on guys really.

[JiffyLemon]

Hmmm... if this woman was his step mum it might be less wierd, but just a friend of EXH? Odd

[SpiritedLondon]

I once dealt with a case involving a woman in her 30's texting her sons friend who was 14. They were honestly the most explicit texts I have ever read in my life.....all about what she was going to do to him.. When I met him he was a very regular little lad who looked a little younger than 14. I appreciate that my perspective is skewed but you can't assume that everyone's intention is innocent.

[FrameyMcFrame]

I thought I was stepping into a time warp then, I remember this thread from last year... Or getting very bad de ja vu

[newtscamander]

Oops, didn't realise it was old.

[Iknownuffink]

Totally out of order.

Does your ex have an opinion?

I would take the phone to the police and have them look at the texts.

Women can be sexual predators too.

[halighhalighaliehaligh]

Really weird I think. What does your ds think of it. Do you think your ex would find it strange? I would tell her you find it inappropriate and wouldn't want her left alone with your ds. Could be difficult if you can't get your ex onside though

[halighhalighaliehaligh]

Ahh just seen this is old. Did the op come back to update?

[Mummyme1987]

Why would you post on a zombie thread and get it active again years later?

[Mummyme1987]

It just tricks people to read it all and post.

[Mummyme1987]

I know this one is only 6 months old but there seems to be quite a few zombie threads regularly.