AIBU to think there are few worse crimes on here than to be the OW

[OnADarkDesertHighway]

I think there are criminals who have been convicted of horrific offences who would get a better reception on here than OW do.

Personal attacks might be throwned upon but OW seem fair game. Cunt is a common insult to call OW and hardly anyone objects.

Yeah it is shitty to fuck another woman's bloke but no insult is off limits.

I do not believe some hardened criminals would be in receipt of the level of abuse OW get. Nor do the DH/DP's get anywhere near as much condemnation as the OW do.

I agree, and it's unfair.
The person who is behaving like a total arse is the one in a committed relationship who decides to be unfaithful and deceitful.
But it's always been easier to see them as the poor lost lamb in a sweetie shop with all the jars open. Don't know why.

Cunt is a word used to describe anyone and everybody who has pissed off another person, it's not solely used for OW.

Are you new?

I honestly, honestly think I would treat a criminal with far more disdain than a woman shagging someone else's DH

All I ever see on MN, in fact, are posters telling the OP not to waste her anger on the OW and realise that it is their DH that they should focus their anger on.

Are you the OW OP?

YANBU

IRL we all know/work with/are related to or are friends with someone perfectly decent who has at some point in their life been the 'OW' but on MN it would seem that once you have been the OW that rehabilitation into polite society is something you can only dream about!

I think some people post on here to troll goad people whose lives have been thrown into chaos by affairs. I can't see why they would purposefully sign up to a site with the demographic of mumsnet just to get support for sleeping with someone with a wife and kids.

Note I said some, I know mums have affairs too, not every one here has kids yada yada.

' Are you the OW OP?'

Does it matter? I've never been one and I think she's got a point.

Blah blah

Which OW are you then ?

The one who wants to play happy families with her boyfriends kids and thinks the wife should be getting on with her life in a joyous fashion ?

I've never been abusive about the OW and I haven't really seen it here

But I have minimal respect for anyone who thinks their needs matter more than a families - and that applied to both parties

My ex's OW knew he had 3 small children including a 3 month old baby - that's a bit shitty

It's not about not caring if a family is torn apart by an affair, it's about directing the anger and blame at the individual responsible. The unfaithful partner.

Theres no such thing as "another woman's bloke". People dont belong to people. Its a married/committed man. But yes totally shitty to choose to be involved in that. Not as shitty as him choosing to cheat though.

Cunt is used for all sorts of cunts. (I've had it thrown at me for having a differing opinion on a thread ) Not just OW.

Of course there are. Liking Peter Andre, having a loo brush and a son called Jayden are all hated more.

I am not excusing OW but the husband is the one who breaks promises yet does not get anywhere near the vitriol OW get.

Name changer I am not new.

If you know a man is married and still decide to shag him you are a cunt.

He is, of course a bigger cunt.

But you are still both cunts.

oh trust me my ex got ALL the vitriol

You don't get to be involved in a messy break up and keep your halo though

sorry OP but I also dispute your point about worse crimes - I imagine if you posted that you abused children or killed someone for fun you'd get a shitty reception

It's a shit thing to do.

Not surprised it attracts unpleasant epithets.

And I've seen plenty of threads where there are quite forceful reminders that the betraying spouse is the bigger shit.

It's not a circumstance where people are going to say it's fine. Because it isn't.

I think MistressMerryWeather has nailed it.

OW get loads of abuse because sleeping with an attached person, particularly one with children is despicable. The cheating partner is undoubtedly worse however the OW is also deserving of disgust.

It's not complex and I've never been cheated on.

I agree with NoArmani.

Biggest MN crime=TVs in bedrooms anyway.

Simple psychology, surely?

Presumably the wife loved her husband, and had no previous emotion for the OW - so hating them both means the husband will probably end up being a bit hated, and the OW would be hugely hated, because they started from different positions.

Also, it's going to hurt less to blame the OW than to admit that you married a man who'd so something so crap. It feels a bit like it reflects badly on you then, even though it doesn't really.

I think if you're an OW, you should accept that you're unlikely to ever have a functional relationship with the man - whether or not he leaves his family; his family will hate you, and society will treat you harshly.

or not cooking from scratch!

I don't recall anyone coming on here and admitting to be a criminal unless speeding/parking tickets are what you are referring to.

I've never been cheated on, but I have no sympathy for any woman who knowingly fools around with a man who is taken. It goes without saying that the men are the bigger dicks in the equation, but the OW are no less dickish for that fact. I reserve my sympathy for the poor women left behind, who then have the added insult of having to watch the OW imposing herself in her children's lives.

So yeah, no pity for them.

Shitty behaviour yeah but the abuse on here is way disproportionate to RL.

Course you would get a shitty response if you abused kids or killed anyone but having been on OW threads there is more vitriol at OW than there would be for anyone who committed lesser criminal offences.

goes off to hide toilet brush

I agree OP. Yet many of the people on here are in second relationships. Exes are always being mentioned - (only second in line for maximum vitriol) - and I don't believe they all quietly and dutifully waited until new DP was "free".

Life is messy. People don't belong to one another and nothing is ever as simple as it seems