AIBU to think there are few worse crimes on here than to be the OW

[OnADarkDesertHighway]

I think there are criminals who have been convicted of horrific offences who would get a better reception on here than OW do.

Personal attacks might be throwned upon but OW seem fair game. Cunt is a common insult to call OW and hardly anyone objects.

Yeah it is shitty to fuck another woman's bloke but no insult is off limits.

I do not believe some hardened criminals would be in receipt of the level of abuse OW get. Nor do the DH/DP's get anywhere near as much condemnation as the OW do.

People who spend thier lives attacking strangers on the internet over and over are definitely sad, yep.

Have you had an empathy bypass, Sky ?

Or a lobotomy ?

Meh. Life is too short to worry about people who don't matter.

I once saw someone actually post that she thought infidelity should be a crime and both the cheating spouse and OW should be charged for it.

Posters agreed with her. I was very.

Sky, you used the term 'those saddos' about hurt people on MN.

Don't minimise what you did.

So routinely attacking other people because you've been hurt is ok then? And I'm the one lacking empathy?

Interesting.

I haven't been "hurt" as you put it/in the way you mean

But I do have respect for those who have.

I'm not minimizing anything. People who bully others for ANY reason are sad, sad, sad people who need help.

How else would you describe what you are doign right now ?

This is primarily a support website

Have some fucking manners

DS1's Dad cheated on me when I was pregnant. Several times, though I only found out about one of them at the time. I texted the OW (an ex of his - nice and classy) and explained that whilst he was a supercunt for what he'd done, she also had to wear the cunt crown for a very long time for her utter lack of sisterhood and self-respect. Her response (I will never forget this, because she was also one of those vile text-speaking cunts) was "I cn fuk who I like. U hav more 2 lose than me. I cn make him happy, u can't".

Cheaters are utter, utter cunts regardless of the reasons or excuses. Ditto criminals. It's not that hard to just try and be a decent person. Looking for a bit of fun? Eat a fucking twirl and be fucking thankful for the lovely life you do have rather than looking at someone from the office who's giving you the glad eye.

The grass is NEVER greener. Never. Only blind cunts think it is.

it's a massive presumption sky that people who disagree with affairs have all been on the receiving end of one. Pretty rude to call them 'saddos' but in your head they are rude, not you

Eh, the man is the one doing the cheating not the woman. If you're the OW though, you can't expect real commitment from him if he's going behind his wife's back. A bit foolish to think you can have a functional relationship with a dysfunctional man.

If a man cheats on his wife with another woman, the two idiots deserve each other.

I know one girl who is "still waiting" on her "boyfriend" to finalize the divorce so they can marry. I know him. He never will. He's stringing her along.

Sen, I think your friend posts on MN

When did I say anything about being on the receiving end of affairs?

It is a fact that certain topics elicit certain responses from posters regularly. I was pointing out that it is likely that trolls and GFs start threads about affairs/OWs so they can sit back and watch the fur fly which it inevitably does because for WHATEVER reason some posters feel remorseless and entitled to tear apart people who they perceive as a wrong doer.

It is predictable. It is sad. It is sick. All of it.

I think it's pretty goading to call posters on MN who have had their lives and their children's lives turned to shit by affairs 'those saddos'.

Stop reading it then. It's not like those kinds of threads are not well signposted.

I think the worst thing about the gender inequality in terms of affairs is how children are expected to think or understand. I think we all want to believe in and support equality.

However, if a man has an affair with another woman it is not acceptable but understandable. If the mum has an affair then pure vitriol.

If a mum has issues with OW it can be seen as jealousy but the whole situation is just unfair.

I know a couple of acquaintances who are both second partners OW, one was younger when she met dp so no mention of children. The other is hated by dp's family, they have not married which she would like and have 2 adult children together. Dp's older children visit and relationships are good. Put bygones aside.

I have also had to listen to an OW colleague years ago moan about wife and kids not liking her, then petty nonsense about their dad not realising she should come first on a weekend visit. Another time hearing someone saying they were buying a more expensive house purely to reduce the amount of money they had as disposable income, and therefore reducing the cost of childcare payments to exwife. Note payments to exwife not your own children

My point is that it's very messy and if people get a little bit of support on MN from others I personally think that's quite nice, venting off is v therapeutic.

About OP

Obviously, a site that is called mumsney and which supports mums (many who have or had a partner and children) are not going to be that forgiving to OWs

Why is that hard to understand?

I always think the fault lies with the cheating husband. But still have not many soft feelings towards OWs

Also there is no pain besides married pain. I'm not married and Im definitely not an OW! but an OW could be in a lot of pain. could feel inadequate, be lonely, troubled, have low self-esteem etc etc etc but that's never going to be acknowledged here. ONly married women can feel pain.

I think what's unfair is people saying, in an affair blame the man not the OW, but if the children of the marriage are affected by it well that's the wife's fault.

Suddenly, the children's upset and the wife's upset are not to be blamed on the man. Or the OW. But on the wife. Possibly on the children, in time.

I am calling people who attack other people online 'saddos'. The only defining feature of my judgement in this case is the pack behavior of dogpiling on people who post about things that have hit a nerve for them... I'm as entitled to my opinions as the next person. Just because I don't like something doesnt negate my right to comment on it.

So the wife must be a robot if she's dumped.

Sen, I think your friend posts on MN

Actually the man in that situation is my friend, I'm indifferent to the woman, as is his wife. :)

His marriage and relationship breakdown is a complicated one. He was dysfunctional when he met his dysfunctional wife, and the relationship went the way you would expect before he ever cheated... if you can call it that since he was separated but not technically divorced before met her.

Yup, only wives can hurt. Another myth.