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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be faced with 'what did you do all day?' every day

327 replies

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 19:17

just faced it again tonight

He is currently cleaning the glass 'because it is streaky' (Note: no finger prints, so I have obviously cleaned it... just streaky)

I have entertained 3 kids today - on the last week of their holidays. I have sorted uniform, made sure everything is name tagged, I have fed them, I have read to them, I have bathed them.

SOOOO sick of having to justify how I spend each minute when I have kids at home.

OP posts:
Zucker · 01/09/2015 19:19

Would a big "FUCK OFF I'm not the hired help" be out of the question?

noiwontstoptalking · 01/09/2015 19:19

In these circumstances I think I'd announce I was going out if the day at 7:30am on Sat and stay out until 6pm.

I'd return bringing my clip board for his inspection.

Theycallmemellowjello · 01/09/2015 19:20

Have you expressed this sentiment to your dh?

NewLife4Me · 01/09/2015 19:20

Is this your dh, I'd just ignore him.
Mine tried this once and he soon realised he was wasting his time.
Don't rise to him but do say something like "why are you doing that? I just did it today or yesterday etc.
He'll soon realise you have different standards and you too have had a busy day doing other things.

Bin85 · 01/09/2015 19:20

You will have to engineer it so he has them ( sole charge) for some time.
Might sing a different tune then!

DoreenLethal · 01/09/2015 19:20

I was going to suggest that noiwont.

Original poster
Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 19:21

Grin a fuck off is DEF out of the question!!!

If I go out, I have to take the kids with me, so it's really a pointless exercise as the house stays clean while we are out so only backs up his argument that it's me that's the problem.

OP posts:
NickAngel · 01/09/2015 19:22

I used to list everything, event by event, but he got bored of that eventually. In the early days of DS as baby he got home from work and asked me to tell him what feeds/sleeps/play etc so he could update his spreadsheet.
Things have moved on thankfully.

RockerMummy184 · 01/09/2015 19:22

All the things you usually do, don't do them tomorrow! When he comes home to 3 dirty, hungry kids sitting in a shit tip, I feel he'll be less inclined to ask what your days involve.

DipsoHippo · 01/09/2015 19:23

If I go out, I have to take the kids with me,

Why???

AuntyMag10 · 01/09/2015 19:24

So you have 3 kids sorted out before he comes home and he has the nerve to ask what you did. Yanbu, does he ever have them on his own?

NewLife4Me · 01/09/2015 19:24

Why do you have to take the kids with you, surely he spends the weekend looking after his children and giving you a break.
No wonder your glass is streaky if he doesn't give you a break.

idsisatwat · 01/09/2015 19:24

Why do you have to take the DC with you?

Original poster
Iamatotalandutteridiot · 01/09/2015 19:25

I'm taking them out tomorrow.

I just feel like the hired help. He is stalking around me (obvs. I am sitting on MN) I have cleaned today. Just not to his liking.

OP posts:
BrandNewAndImproved · 01/09/2015 19:25

What do you mean you have to take dc with you. Bollocks to that I'd sneak out the hpuse early Saturday morning and not return till the evening.

Maybe your husband is the problem.

threads like this make me appreciate being a single parent so mucn

Jackie0 · 01/09/2015 19:26

It sounds like a very unequal partnership.
Does he thinks he's your boss?
I'd go nuts , sorry not very helpful but he's being a bit of a shit really , isn't he?

TheDowagerCuntess · 01/09/2015 19:26

If I go out, I have to take the kids with me, so it's really a pointless exercise as the house stays clean while we are out so only backs up his argument that it's me that's the problem.

Why?!

Leave the kids there. Of course he doesn't get it, if you're pandering to him like that.

RockerMummy184 · 01/09/2015 19:27

I have cleaned today. Just not to his liking

Then he can do it to his liking himself can't he?

DoreenLethal · 01/09/2015 19:27

Sod Saturday morning - do it before he gets up for work one day.

UntilTheCowsComeHome · 01/09/2015 19:27

Tell him to get a cleaner.

DH would not dare say anything to me about the cleaning, he knows exactly what he'd get if he tried.

Don't put up with it op.

NewLife4Me · 01/09/2015 19:27

This doesn't sound right at all OP, is he very controlling.
Do you ever go out with friends or on your own without dc.

Spartans · 01/09/2015 19:28

Tbh him asking 'what have you done today?' sounds like the least of you problems.

Yanbu to not want to have this everyday. But it doesn't sound like anythin you do will change it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 01/09/2015 19:28

It doesn't 'back up his argument at all'. Confused

It explains why it's much harder for you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/09/2015 19:29

Looking after the kids either is a big job or it's not. If it is, he can fuck off. If it isn't, it's his turn all weekend and we can critique his job when you get back.

TheCrowFromBelow · 01/09/2015 19:29

If I go out, I have to take the kids with me, eh?? Is he not their DDad?

I think you should try it this weekend. I'll help put together the ticklist for the clip board.