to not want to be faced with 'what did you do all day?' every day

[Iamatotalandutteridiot]

just faced it again tonight

He is currently cleaning the glass 'because it is streaky' (Note: no finger prints, so I have obviously cleaned it... just streaky)

I have entertained 3 kids today - on the last week of their holidays. I have sorted uniform, made sure everything is name tagged, I have fed them, I have read to them, I have bathed them.

SOOOO sick of having to justify how I spend each minute when I have kids at home.

I'd agree that getting at least a part-time job is a great idea. SAHM can really drain the confidence out of you, tbh. And it will give you friends and a life outside his control, as well as a source of money he doesn't control at all.

This cements further my belief that being a SAHM with a man who has even the slightest misogynist tendencies, is a recipe for disaster.

You can't live your life like this. It's not sustainable.

Do you even like this man? I don't see how you possibly can. He's awful. :(

Well, if mumsnet ever needed a project op, you're it.

Christ, threads like their remind me to appreciate my lovely DH more.

I told DH a long time ago that Mumsnet is brilliant for our marriage for that precise reason. Makes me snort when the likes of Jeffrey flip the fuck out that it's a den of man-haters. It is actually a den of arsehole-haters. Very distinct difference... unless someone is in fact an arsehole.

Yes, sleep - absolutely! There's a vast, vast difference between man-hating and arsehole-hating, I have oft said this.

OP - if looking after the kids isn't work, then he should have no problem doing it at the weekend.

He is contradicting himself left, right and centre. Surely you can see that?

Op please book yourself a weekend away and bugger off. Never mind about Saturday and never mind about him, you need some time to be by yourself.

He sounds like a proper chauvinistic arsehole iamatotatal

Please think about what you are teaching your children about a womans worth.

And I will ask my usual question that I ask on threads like this...

What's your sex life like?

It must be down the gurgler. How can you possibly desire a man enough to want to have sex with him, when he talks, and treats you, this way....? Like a skivvy, who's beneath him.

Sounds like a complete knob to me. Do you even want to be with him? You sound very dejected to me, like he's sucked the life out of you.

It would never work. Even if I did leave for the day, he'd likely hand the kids IPAD and work like crazy just to prove a point. All the things that the kids SHOULD do (like brushing teeth) would not get done...

It just is never going to happen.

I vote for ltb

So looking after the kids is so difficult when he does it that he can't possibly be expected to do it at all, but so easy you can spend time polishing the windows and cleaning out nailholes with a needle when you do it.

Does he use that brain at work? Because he's not using it at home.

Don't store up all these replies in a little warm barrier to keep you feeling better. Use a little of that anger and have a healthy row, wouldja? It could save your marriage.

Write him a letter, then.

Write it out, capture everything you want to say, re-word it, and re-work it until it outlines everything on here, and give it to him to read,

And then, if he doesn't change his ways, LTB.

Have you posted about this person before OP?

You need to start standing up for yourself.

That is not a nice username, nobody deserves that as a tag.

Why are you with a man who doesn't want to parent his children? Do you want them to grow up thinking that's how women should

Pleeeeaaaaase leave him with the kids on Saturday.
I am begging you. Do it.
Are you scared of him or something?
Is he a sulker/stonewaller?
Or a yeller? Or something else?

I am sorry to hear your husband treats you this way, op. Controlling men often have people pleasing partners who find conflict difficult. You may be like this and find it hard to stand up for yourself. Something I learned from flylady is that if a man is unreasonable and supercritical about your cleaning then no matter how clean you make it he will just find something else to criticise. You need to find a way to become a lot more assertive and if he keeps treating you badly take steps to protect you and the dc, if necessary that may mean leaving him.

I could rewrite Shakespeare and he wouldn't read it.

I need a good kick.

The worst thing is that OP's children will grow up thinking this is normal

Go out for the day and take the iPads/any easy entertainment devices/TV controllers with you. Blame their disappearance on a child

I don't think getting a job will improve things at all. Him working ft is his stance now but can anybody ever see him changing if the OP worked pt or ft, he'd still argue she was the woman and knew how to do it better.
He won't have a clue how to parent.
It's not a sahm issue at all, it's having a shit husband and father issue.

My love you sound so down trodden by this man, is there anything at all you admire or attracts you to him.

Are you frightened of your husband I OP?

If not then do leave him alone your three for a full day. After all he works and needs a break from work. Looking after the children is not work do therefore is a break.

If you are frightened of him, please call Women's Aid and set a plan to leave him.

You sound so very down, OP. Surely you can see that this isn't a balanced relationship? So you're a SAHM and fair enough, most of the housework falls to you - but you do have a right to your own leisure time. You don't need a good kick, your H does.

Can I ask what it is that makes you stay? not blaming you in any way, but I'm really interested to know why you stay with such a vile, abusive man......please look at some way of getting out.

Lookslike - He'd kill me.