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Original poster

Fucking Call Of Duty... Wants to live with his dad

177 replies

Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:19

I've been here before, but please help me? My ds has just had yet another meltdown and actual tears and thrown in my face that he wants to live with his dad. All over the stupid godforsaken Call of Duty game. He's 12 ffs aibu. I'm sat outside in tears.

OP posts:
brusselsproutwarning · 08/07/2015 20:20

Why that game? What happened?

CrystalCove · 08/07/2015 20:21

What's wrong?

Egosumquisum · 08/07/2015 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trevortrevorslatterfry · 08/07/2015 20:22

Flowers DSD throws this at her DM sometimes but she loves her and would never really leave her. It's just teenagers lashing out because they know it will hurt you Sad. Hugs to you OP

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:22

Because all of his friends are playing it. I have seen that this is true because you can see them playing it online on the Xbox at the time. I don't want him playing that game it's vile and violent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:23

His dad is not on the scene, only indirect monthly contact.

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 08/07/2015 20:26

Well, he can't play Call of Duty, and he can't live with his dad. And if he carried on with that attitude in my house, there would be a very long list of things he can't do, like anything at all outside school and chores.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:27

Ds is really trying to grind me down into getting him the game. He threw himself on the floor balling his eyes out! It's getting me down being bad cop because I don't find that game any way suitible for him. Sometimes I hate being a single parent

OP posts:
mariposa10 · 08/07/2015 20:30

You're absolutely, no question, doing the right thing. It's called being a good parent.

Smartiepants79 · 08/07/2015 20:35

You know he says that because it pushes your buttons right??
I think you should try and use it to strengthen my will. You know you are doing the right thing for the right reasons. Toddler/teenage tantrums are to be ignored as much as possible.
I woulduld explain to him that this kind of behaviour proves to you that he is in no way mature enough to be allowed 18 certificate games.

MayPolist · 08/07/2015 20:36

The thing is they play online with all their friends in the evening and talk about it at school in the day.Is it really worth making him the social outcast. Most 12 yr old boys I know pay it, as did my DSes and most of their friends at that age.They all seem fine well adjusted lads at University and in the sixth form now.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:36

*mariposa can I ask if you have kids and what are your views please. I feel on my own with this like I am some sort of wicked fun spoiling witch

OP posts:
Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:38

Is it really worth making him the social outcast? I think so, yes as it is for valid reason

OP posts:
downgraded · 08/07/2015 20:39

SP here too.

Say "No and I've explained why not" in a monotonous tone every single time he brings it up with you. Never deviate from the script.

And utterly ignore any silliness and tantrums which follow. Step over him on the floor if you have to.

Eventually he'll get bored of asking.

Don't engage. You'll go mad.

BlackeyedSusan · 08/07/2015 20:42

yes, it is being a good parent but it is tougher as a single parent because there is no other adult to back you up and take over the tantrum.

I would be tempted to say that if he acted like a toddler having a tantum he has just proved he is not old enough. this would not help though.

Psycobabble · 08/07/2015 20:43

My ds wanted to live with his dad because he wanted to play on his iPad

I take it with a pinch of salt though granted my ds is only 4 ! However I do feel that as he grows up its be more of the same , fun dad with expensive treats versus sensible mum doing all the actual daily parenting

So not much advice really but do t let it upset you Flowers

downgraded · 08/07/2015 20:44

My survival method as a single parent is just to shut the conversation down asap when it gets to this point.

It's too intense - they haven't got anyone else to moan at and you end up wanting to kill. Shut it down before it starts.

If he's really being persistent I'd remove a privilege every time he asks. Say bringing bedtime ten minutes earlier for every whinge. He'll lose 40 minutes then hopefully get the message.

wannabestressfree · 08/07/2015 20:46

You know you can put a block on the worst bits of the game. Then they can still play and talk to their friends minus the graphic bits?

Hairylegs007 · 08/07/2015 20:47

Stay strong. You are doing the right thing.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:50

He is acting like a brat and horrible with it. I do walk away and try and shut the conversation down but he just follows me saying I'm mean and that his dad would let him play it. Apparently he's not going to school tomorrow he's going to live with his dad instead. And it's my fault because I'm not letting him play the game

OP posts:
RainbowFlutterby · 08/07/2015 20:50

DS has one of the CoDs - I think it's Ghosts. It's a 16 and I checked it out and let him have it, sort of a compromise. He's 11.

Would you consider one of the '16's for him?

Dawndonnaagain · 08/07/2015 20:52

Leaf I went through the same thing with ds1, now 30 with a particularly violent game, so long ago I can't remember what it was called! I too was a single parent at the time. Be strong. He is lovely now.

NickyEds · 08/07/2015 20:52

You're definitely doing the right thing. I've seen Call of Duty and it's bloody awful- most certainly deserves its 18 rating. No way I'd let a 12 year old play it. Shit for you thoughFlowers

Saltysnack · 08/07/2015 20:52

Sympathies OP, principles are hard work sometimes. My ds isn't at that age yet but he already knows how fussy I am about phone apps and TV so hopefully it won't be a surprise that no 18 games will be considered at 12!! And certainly no violence.

I'm sorry there's no one there to back you up but you are 100% right. He will learn some valuable perspective, and will have to respect you for sticking to your guns

trashcanjunkie · 08/07/2015 20:53

I second losing a privilege every time he starts up the conversation. It works, eventually.

It's not about the fucking game, it's a power play. And so what if his mates are playing it. He needs new mates imo

My youngest two are ten and certainly won't be playing on it under my watch, and yes they have classmates playing it with the blood turned off. My eldest did this to me via the medium of nagging for a mobile phone.

It's not ok for them to win these types of arguments, they need to be helped to learn sometimes no means no! Well done, and best of luck. Is there any support you could access for his behaviour?

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