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Original poster

Fucking Call Of Duty... Wants to live with his dad

177 replies

Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:19

I've been here before, but please help me? My ds has just had yet another meltdown and actual tears and thrown in my face that he wants to live with his dad. All over the stupid godforsaken Call of Duty game. He's 12 ffs aibu. I'm sat outside in tears.

OP posts:
Bambambini · 09/07/2015 07:23

From what i've seen from COD it's nothing like most 18 rated violent movies. The 12 rated avenger movies and similar look worse TBH.

I do get pissed off that i was the strict parent where othere parents let their kids play from around 10 and had to deal with the constant asking and tesrs.

And knowing these parents, they are not crappy or "morons" (nice) at all. I hate these games and i hate the pressure but these threads don't reflect real life where much more kids are playing these games than all thise who seem to don't on mumsnetland.

Bambambini · 09/07/2015 07:31

"Better an isolated child than a fucked up one"

Is this true? Thing is, i hate COD and would love other parents to stick together on this. I think majority of children will probably be ok playing it - i worry but do wonder if we over worry it. I do worry about my child being isolated from his peers at 12 though because he can't join in what all his friends are doing and talking about. So actuslly, i'm not sure which option causes mire harm.

SoupDragon · 09/07/2015 07:33

Is it really worth making him the social outcast. Most 12 yr old boys I know pay it, as did my DSes and most of their friends at that age.

PMSL @ "social outcast".

My DSs were only allowed 18 games when the eldest turned 16 (DS2 was 14). They are still not allowed GTA and I have explained why. They were never social outcasts, they always accepted my decision.

Yes, there was weeping and wailing at times and the occasional "it's so unfair!" but I said that I would be very happy to stick to the letter of the law and only allow them age appropriate games, thus removing the age 16 Halo games etc, if they made a huge fuss about it.

CamelHump · 09/07/2015 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 09/07/2015 07:35

I don't particularly like COD but I know my children and know they can separate gaming from reality. They haven't changed. DS1 is still kind and gentle and DS2 is still an adorable, cheeky little git.

blueballoon79 · 09/07/2015 07:36

I'm a gamer myself and as such there are a lot of games I will not allow my 15 year old DS to play as I know exactly what the content involves.
I'm also a lone parents and have had to put up with DS stropping and tantrumming and pestering for games.
As a previous poster mentioned I used the fact to point out how immature he was being and said every time he behaved badly he'd lose game playing time.
I told him also that he's more than welcome to buy any game he wants when he has his own house, own job and own money to pay for it- until then it's my house, my money, my rules.
Not every other child will be playing at all. He'll just want you to think that. I know some parents do let their children play these games though. I had a friend who allowed her 4 year old on GTA!

00100001 · 09/07/2015 07:38

True, he might, he also might try and order it from the internet of something. Its just one thing that worked with my brother.

The problem now with the OP is this is now a power play thing. She has to stick to her guns or lose the battle. If she says yes after all this stropping and shouting she will have problem s in the future. She can't allow these tactics to work :)

00100001 · 09/07/2015 07:39

Indeed not every chgikd will be playing it. Just like they don't "all have iPhones" or "but everyone else is allowed to drink"

Orangeanddemons · 09/07/2015 07:40

I'm sure some of those games aren't 18's.

My ds played them from about 13/14. He's a delightful sensitive carding adult now, about to start an MA......

Bambambini · 09/07/2015 07:48

The older COD are about 15 or 16.

SoupDragon · 09/07/2015 07:49

A couple of earlier COD versions were 16s

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 09/07/2015 07:57

I have a 12 year old son and no we don't have CoD or any game rated over a 12.

I have a 9 year old son to consider in all of this.

I had a conversation with a 10 year old on a school bus who was telling everyone he played CoD and it was an 18 rated game. Cue lots of oooohs from his friends.

I asked him if he drove a car or drank beer Grin because if anyone under 18 tried to buy the game for themselves they wouldn't be able to. Someone had to buy it for them.

I had to buy ds1 a 12 game when he was 3 days off his 12th birthday because I knew Game staff would ask him for ID.

Ds1 threw a strop over a 16 rated game recently, he told me "I hate talking to you about this kind of thing" my response was "because I make sense and you know I am right?" Wink

UnspecialSnowflake · 09/07/2015 07:58

I think it's very telling that every post in which the poster says they are a gamer and has played CoD has them saying that they wouldn't let a child play it. I wonder how many of the parents who happily let their pre teen children play CoD have actually played it themselves?

And the "they see worse on the news" line is the worst kind of false equivalency. The news gives context to violent acts, and shows the condemnation and consequences. It is not comparable to a game where the only aim, as I understand it, is to violently kill in a consequence free environment.

merrymouse · 09/07/2015 08:08

'everyone else is doing it' is such a lame excuse.

"Your child will become a social outcast if they don't play" makes as much sense as arguing that all those that do will become gun wielding maniacs.

Morloth · 09/07/2015 08:13

Yep. As a 'Gamer Parent'.

I am often shocked by how uninformed many parents are about what their kids are up to.

Especially online gaming. One friend didn't understand that playing WoW was with other people, she had just bought him the game and paid the subscription.

I have allowed my two see movie ratings that our over their age. But only after seeing it myself.

I went and saw Jurassic World on Thursday night before taking a couple of kids with me on a Saturday. If I had decided it was a no go then that is how it was going to be.

They don't like it but DS1 now understands why we do the things we do.

merrymouse · 09/07/2015 08:21

I think that is the difference Morloth - its one thing saying "I have played through CoD/watched the Exorcist and here is why I think it is suitable for my child", quite another to base your judgement on what everybody else is doing.

Original poster
Leafitout · 09/07/2015 08:24

Ds refused to speak to me this morning, still sulking. So I took from that he has lost the power of using his tongue and won't need his phone today to speak with. I said he is not having it. 001 yes it seems that a power game is in play and I'm not putting up with that nonsense over CoD. Hysteria, social outcast are down to social pressure that we as parents should come together on then maybe children would realise they are still young and these games are not suitible.

OP posts:
00100001 · 09/07/2015 08:31

I always think, if you wouldn't let your 9year old watch a film such as Saving Pribate Ryan, Platoon or Black Hawk Down why in earth would you let them play Call of Duty???

downgraded · 09/07/2015 08:36

Well look on the bright side Leaf, at least if he's not speaking to you he can't whine at you :)

I think you are right to be giving out consequences for the tantrumming and ignoring you. It is poor behaviour, irrespective of the reason for the tantrum.

JCDenton · 09/07/2015 08:37

I think it's very telling that every post in which the poster says they are a gamer and has played CoD has them saying that they wouldn't let a child play it.

I agree, I'm a big gamer and wouldn't be budging an inch on Call of Duty for an 11 year old, having played and enjoyed a couple of the older ones.

I find that posters on gaming forums are quite strict about it and despair of parents who let preteens play 18s. Probably some combination of knowing the content, going against the 'games are for kids' idea and having played in the same match as one too many foul mouthed 9 year old online.

bloodyteenagers · 09/07/2015 08:43

Also don't forget as of this year schools will report to ss children playing cod etc.

And yes parents should play these games first, rather than listening to their mates.

They do miss out the most violent, graphic etc and give the impression f a nice game.

Like this, to describe a film. The main person traps people in individual rooms and gives them clues how to get free. Some people die, but it's ok, it's not real..
Now parents who listen to this will just say ok and that's it. The child will be allowed to watch.. Oh forgot to say the classic and all my mates have seen it, and all the sequels. Been watching for years..

Innocent sounding film? This is what your children are doing. They are manipulating you to think the game is innocent and not harmful. That they will miss out on stuff. Don't see how not all households have xbox etc.

Oh for those interested the nice
Film is Saw..

Original poster
Leafitout · 09/07/2015 08:43

I like the idea of sending ds into a game shop to be told no I can't serve you to buy that game as it's rated 18. Then he would know that it's not just me ruining his game play. And that it is for a reason.

OP posts:
Lifeisadancefloor · 09/07/2015 08:46

It worries me that the ratings system is being ignored. I understand judging what is right for your child and when they are ready for it - but I cannot understand why people would consider 'interactive immersion in a warzone' to be appropriate for any 12 yr olds.

There are differences in the way that anyone playing a game reacts to the play and it is certainly different to viewing passive images on the news. No scaremongering - violent video games do little to encourage violent acts in real life (bar the very few tenuous examples) but it can encourage other things and can also encourage positive behaviour.

We are a gamer household and my DH checks everything in a game before letting our DC play and some he deems inappropriate and doesn't let them - even with the appropriate rating. COD is a definite no in our house.

Each to their own - but I think you have to be fully educated about the game and its motivations (that it encourages in the player) before you can make an informed choice.

Morloth · 09/07/2015 08:53

Hehe I have more than once booted foul mouthed kiddos from instances. They get a couple of warnings and then either they walk or I do.

I am a Tank and DH is a Healer. I don't do a lot of walking. Grin

And complaining about your Mum doesn't get you very far either.

merrymouse · 09/07/2015 08:54

Gamers, COD and GTO games seem to be blockbuster games that everybody has heard of. Are there more age appropriate, less well known games that you would recommend for a 12 year old?