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Original poster

Fucking Call Of Duty... Wants to live with his dad

177 replies

Leafitout · 08/07/2015 20:19

I've been here before, but please help me? My ds has just had yet another meltdown and actual tears and thrown in my face that he wants to live with his dad. All over the stupid godforsaken Call of Duty game. He's 12 ffs aibu. I'm sat outside in tears.

OP posts:
Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 21:50

I don't understand the rush for these boys to see such violence, torture, killing and the like. It's not educational. I'm not thinking along the lines of him turning into a monster. I have explained to him calmly that it has contents that is not suitible for him. I also said to him that I realise that he knows the difference between real and fantasy. I believe that on the review sites this game includes porn and also the danger of adults posing as kid gamers to entice them to give out their details! It's scarey stuff. Went onto the commonsense.org site. Some reviews are saying its a great game but others are saying what most posters are saying that it is not for kids

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Preciousbane · 08/07/2015 21:55

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WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 08/07/2015 21:57

I don't consider myself a fool thanks, I've got an Oxbridge degree and several professional qualifications.

Then you have even less excuse and should know better.There is a huge amount of research to show that these games have a bad effect on developing minds. Did you know that when playing first person shooter games, the part of the brain that lights up under fMRI is not the same as when passively watching the same stuff on tv, but is the same part as when you are actually shooting someone ?

If you want to desensitise your young children to gory violence and encourage them to fantasise about killing people, you have that right. Don't encourage others to do it.

saoirse31 · 08/07/2015 21:57

many cod games are 16. Obviously it's your decision but have had cod played here from age 12 ish with no problems. Most boys that age play it ime. With no problems also ime.

now gta... I won't have that. So you make your own informed decisions and defend them.

But you should make sure you're not just slavishly following either ratings or other parents. two games with same rating can be v v different in similar way to films. Other parents... well we're all mad!

oddfodd · 08/07/2015 22:03

All of this shit would be a hell of a lot easier if other parents didn't make shit judgements. I can understand letting a 15-16 YO play COD but a 12YO? It's just piss poor frankly. And the ' all his friends will be allowed to play it' is such a load of crap, I can't believe adults are resorting to it. It's an argument thatv12 YOs make, not adults.

Egosumquisum · 08/07/2015 22:06

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lem73 · 08/07/2015 22:11

Winter I'm not saying it's right. I'm just reporting what I hear kids saying in the playground. An awful lot of these kids are also allowed to play it on Xbox live which I'm told is extremely dodgy. That's a fact.
I will add to that the boys and their parents I know from my dc's football, rugby and cricket teams and I can safely say there are an awful lot of boys in this country playing Call of Duty. Again, not saying it's a good thing.

Ardliath · 08/07/2015 22:16

I had the same thing with DS2 when he moved up to all boys secondary. the game is definitely not suitable for 12 year olds but many of them were playing it. It's different from a film where they don't 'inhabit' the action in the same way. DS2 became so upset about it for so long that I almost gave in but he finally came to accept that it wasn't going to happen. I know that much of the reason behind his wanting to play the game was to fit in with his new mates but I really believed it was not good for him. I didn't reject the idea automatically - I looked into the game carefully and could explain to DS2 my reasons for not letting him play. That said, if I suspected he played it round at a mate's house I wouldn't let on so as not to embarrass him.

Thankfully he got into Minecraft which had the advantage of being non-violent but also popular.

Preciousbane · 08/07/2015 22:20

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Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 22:21

My friends 12 year old plays CoD black ops II and when we have been round there sometimes you can hear him swearing in his shouty voice and banging on the furniture from his bedroom.My ds will look at me with a shocked look on his face! His mum laughs and says "oh what's he like he does that playing that game".He has squared up to her in the past when she told him to get off it at 12 at night! So from ds reaction to his friend it clearly means he is not ready to play it. And that I should stick to my ( pardon the pun) guns here. He probably does get left out at school but then that is for him to find another group to be around. It must be pretty boring having the same CoD chat

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Egosumquisum · 08/07/2015 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 22:27

he did actually want to go to the minecon weekend last weekend. He was so into minecraft which has some educational value to it. I just don't see anything of the sort with CoD. He has been sent to bed early and his phone removed from him. Just dread if he's gonna do the same tomorrow

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Preciousbane · 08/07/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 22:35

I feel like banning the console. An 18 rated game is just that for a reason. Why is the answer no just not good enough. I can just see him and his dad sitting in their under crackers drinking beer and cokes playing CoD late into the night! I really hope he doesn't start his crap again in the morning. All over a frigging game!

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lem73 · 08/07/2015 22:37

Yes leaf. I think you have a point. While both my boys have played it, they haven't gone near it for a really long time and they consider the people who sit on it all day a bit sad.
I know quite a few boys like you describe and I think it's quite worrying. A couple of mums have also told me that their sons have made 'friends' with people they play with on Xbox live. They're actually happy about that. I worry where those kids will be in five years time.

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/07/2015 22:41

Stay strong Leafitout. My Ds also whined for CoD when he was about 12, he was allowed one of the 16 certificate versions at 15.5. I used the 'stuck record' approach. Tracks on this record Grin included -

I do not care if X/Y/Z have it, that is a matter for their mum. I am your mum and I say no.

You are 12 (13/14/15), your brain is still wiring up, I want you to be wired right. You will thank me when you are a normal adult and not a violent knuckle-dragger lacking empathy. Empathy? Look it up .

I am your mother, not your friend.

What I say, goes.

So X has been playing his big brother's CoD since he was 9? What is your opinion of X? Your real opinion?

Stick with it. You know it's the right thing for him.

SkankyFootedHo · 08/07/2015 22:43

The problem with being a lone parent in these situation is that you have no back up, it's just you and him.
The other problem is that if you give in on this he will use it every time and he will get worse.
Stick with it and maintain consistency, you're doing great.

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 22:47

Ds doesn't even play the damn game and is throwing tantrums like a two year in a supermarket. Can't imagine what he would be like if he did play the gam. My sister says that she notices a negative change in her husband after he plays CoD he goes moody and snappy at her, he's in his thirties.
Lem yes it is quite worrying at the speed the game is taking hold in both primary and secondary schools. And how it's affecting home life relationships when told no you can't have it just so that you can fit into the crowd!

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BabyGanoush · 08/07/2015 22:52

2 boys in DS class were so caught up in this game their violence spilled over into their real life. They started sendjng death threats to class mates. They got expelled!

So I am lucky I can remind DS of that, as an example.

oddfodd · 08/07/2015 22:57

The 'your child will end up isolated' because I'm a crap parent who can't say no and has no boundaries argument really enrages me.

FFS, these are 12 year olds. They're children.

So fucking lazy to just roll over to a child's demands.

bloodyteenagers · 08/07/2015 22:58

I told my son at this age who used to throw tantrums that this just
Showed me one of the reasons why he wasn't mature enough to play.
He wants to play mature games and so he has to act mature.

I gave him a huge list of examples of being mature and immature. Basically the differences between being a child and an adult.. I even had a couple of tantrums along the way to show him is ridiculous he was being.

That added with sanctions if every time he mentioned the game he lost the gaming privilege. For a day, and this would increase on a monthly basis. So first month and day, second month 2 days at a time.... We never got to the third month.

Hairylegs007 · 08/07/2015 23:01

There will be loads of parents who won't let their kids play it

Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 23:01

How old were they Baby? WhereyouleftIt I will try my best to stay strong and have said the same words that I'm your mum not you're mate! His reply is " oh really" cheeky little bugger! Maybe this is becoming a real problem in schools the playing of under age games. Just hate being on the brunt end of it.

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Original poster
Leafitout · 08/07/2015 23:04

Hairy thank you for the poll. I think that maybe like my ds parents get badgered into buying the game without realising the content or the child saying its not violent all my mates play it line comes out.

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TheHormonalHooker · 08/07/2015 23:07

You are 12 (13/14/15), your brain is still wiring up, I want you to be wired right. You will thank me when you are a normal adult and not a violent knuckle-dragger lacking empathy. Empathy? Look it up .

My children played COD from age 12. They aren't 'violent knuckle draggers lacking empathy'. They are calm, well adjusted young adults.

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