To ask for your absolute wedding HATES?

[WeddingNoNos]

I am just starting out planning a wedding and trying to navigate having the day we want without any guests coming on here to post about my cunty bridezilla nuptials.

There will be no wishing well and no twattish poetry. What else do I need to remember?

I find "the first dance" excruciating. And didn't have one.

Any winky winky reference to "my new Wife" in the speeches.

Gazillions of bridesmaids in matching dresses - all they do is stand around and look chilly, what is the point?

Hen parties.......

I am a proper killjoy aren't I.

Whatever you do and however much trouble you go to there will always be something that SOMEONE will moan about..

therefore just do what you want and enjoy yourself!

Remember- the vast majority of people at your wedding will be those who love you, care about you, like you and want you to be happy

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So don't piss them off by making them wait 3 hours after the ceremony to be fed.

No poetry is an excellent start. I dislike being asked to contribute to the honeymoon.

Enjoy the planning!

Congratulations! No 1 thing to remember is don't get too hung up on what people tell you on here. I love a wedding and can forgive a multitude of 'sins' including asking for cash and various gaps in the day.
Annoyingly I'm at that stage in my life where my generation are pretty much all married but I'm far too young for the dcs' generation to be getting married. I haven't been to a wedding for years and the last few I went to, while good were stressful because of young children. My children are older now can I come!!

Ps never been to an l plates and willies hen do but I'd love to!

That'd fake willies of course. Real ones might put me off my cocktail

The bride being so stressed about little things that you can tell she isn't enjoying her day - that makes me really sad

The wedding-y stuff I hate doesn't really have anything to do with being a guest, though. I have a rooted hatred of strapless dresses on almost everyone, and those photographs where the bridesmaids pose in a row turned sideways on with one leg extended. But that's probably not what you're asking. And I got married in jeans, so what would I know?

Three-hour photo shoots. I know that a huge gallery of arty shots is de rigueur nowadays but it is utter shit for guests. If you really want them, have an engagement shoot, or a shoot the week before the wedding or after the honeymoon. The reportage shots of the guests are great, and a few more posed shots so all the main players are captured together, great. Eleventy squillion slightly different shots of the B&G under a nice tree with the sun behind them whilst the guests nurse one glass of Pimms, NO.

Lots of bridesmaids. Why? Genuinely, what are they for?

Making things cheap for the B&G but which end up hugely inflating the cost of attendance for every single guest. Locations which are near transport links and affordable accommodation, with bars you can drink at without taking an extension on your mortgage, mean people stay longer and have more fun without having to think about it.

I love child free weddings. I certainly love child free evening dos. Evening dos are for loud discos/raucous ceilidhs and Lots of Booze, none of which is improved by the presence of children. Nope.

Feed and water people often. The food and drink doesn't need to be witty or expensive or original but it does need to be often. Mingling is thirsty work.

Enjoy yourself

Think of it as a party that you'd like to attend.

My bug bear is not enough food, waiting too long for food and food distributed poorly. Eg, waiters with plates of food, wander round and only offer to certain people

I really dislike a buffet as opposed to sit down meal for the wedding breakfast.

Starving the guests. Has happened at half the weddings I've been to. Remember some have been travelling all morning. 3pm isn't lunchtime. And it definitely isn't "breakfast".

My cousin hav a wishing well, not for money but for people to write messages and throw in. Was lovely like a big guestbook with lots of nice 'wishes'. A good buffet, short speeches, usual interesting favours....

Miserable sods whining about weddings they are fortunate to attend piss me off

I am on 90% of wedding threads appalled by the ungrateful sausages who instead of politely declining to attend a wedding they do t want to go to , of people they seemingly dislike , they accept their invite, then moan about on mn.

Cheeky mates. I hope none of them attended my wedding.

Have fun. Spend the day in blissful ignorance of everyone but yourselves and those guests you've invited, your true friends and family, will watch you in your bliss and be happy for you .

My tip is to make sure everyone knows what is happening and when. You can basically do anything you like, feed people, dont feed them, disappear off for a three hour photo shoot, whatever, as long as they know in advance what to expect and can prepare.

A frigging nice meal for vegetarians , we have tastebuds too! Went to one wedding where everyone else got coq au vin and I had a microwave veg korma.

Also don't make your guests wait and wait with no food while you have photos taken of you pillow fighting in a bath tub. Provide canapés and drinks and don't have lengthy photo sessions

I can deal with anything wedding related; rotten poems, requests for money, silly speeches etc but I cannot abide waiting for hours in between arrival and feeding, especially if there is nowhere to sit and nothing to drink. Worst was SIL's where I spent 3 hours in heels desperate to sit down and there were about 2 chairs to about 200 people. I nearly went home. Give me somewhere to sit and chat and a diet coke and I'm fine.

1 bridesmaid and 1 flower girl so no worries there ;)

Won't be child free as we have DD and several family children.

We're foodies so there'll be constant plates of at least nibbles available in between food.

Cheesy first dance is a must for us. And will be hilarious and awkward as it will be the first and last time DP and I will ever formally dance together

Major sin here I know but... There is a theme.

That thing where everyone is busy posing for photos. You just got married! Kiss, cry, shake hands. The world and auntie will take enough photos to make ten albums.

those guests you've invited, your true friends and family, will watch you in your bliss and be happy for you .

Yes, but that doesn't mean they'll also be delighted to stand around thirsty in the rain.

At lovely DSIL's wedding last year everything was gorgeous and we were and still are delighted for her ... but a few cockups by the venue are as much a memory of that day as her dress, the fantastic decorations, etc. Also DH getting far too drunk and making the journey home painful.

Obviously we've never mentioned those niggles to her or anyone who'd report them to her.

I think the op was asking for opinions because they care about their guests.

I love weddings and am always glad and grateful to be invited. However, a few tweaks could often turn a good day to a great day!

A theme???

Well this changes everything!

I'm joking, tell us more ...