To ask if your teenage children swear? And do you mind?

[MrsFring]

I have three teenagers; Dd1 (19), DSL (17) and Dd2 (14). I swear. Quite a bit when I've got my dander up. The older two swear in extremis but not very much, their choice. Dd2, however, has started to swear much more frequently and 'cunt' is her currently favoured word. She tends to use it when upset by something on the news or when fighting with her brother (which is most of the time). She assures me that she never uses it at school when a teacher could hear her.

She is a very principled, passionate girl and does tend to get a bit carried away. DH is more bothered by her swearing than I am, I suspect that he considers it unladylike but would never dare to say that to me.

What do think? Would you mind?

Mine doesn't in front of me, but does with her friends.
I swear all the time.

I have DSs of 13 and 15 and they don't swear, but DH and I swear very rarely. If they did swear within my earshot there would be consequences.

I would not like to hear a 14 year old come out with 'cunt' if I am honest. Nothing to do with unladylike as I wouldn't like it from boy or girl.

If she can contain it at school she can contain it everywhere.

I have two 14 year old DDs and the odd 'fuck' or 'bollocks' slips out occasionally and I don't like it, I always pull them up on it. I hate the c word and would go mental if I heard them use it.

Both me and Dh swear occasionally but I worry it will become a habit with the DDs if we allow it. Although I'm sure they do swear at school and I've seen some pretty choice stuff on their social media.

We tend to do a lot of Irish swearing.
Feck and shite etc
My eldest came home aged 8 and asked me if c**t was a bad word. he didn't believe it was, someone had told him.
I told him it was a really disgusting word and to never use it. I wouldn't ever let any of my kids use it.
YABU, what if she uses it out and about?

I may say, but not often, 'shit' or 'bugger', but never 'fuck' or 'cunt' and certainly not 'fucking cunt'. As my DC don't hear me swear, they don't swear themselves. We're just a household that doesn't swear. If they did swear, I would mind. I can't bear to watch the likes of Gordan Ramsey.

Both dh and I don't swear, so I would definitely not put up with dc swearing. I personally think it's vulgar and it makes people seem vulgar but each to their own.

I hate walking past a group of teenagers and hearing effing and jeffing.

I don't have teenagers yet so can't answer your question, but, I'm a swearer. My DM is worse than me but I never swear in front of her. The few times I've slipped up she wasn't happy.

When my dc are older I probably won't mind hearing the odd swear words but a 14 yo saying cunt to their parents is wrong imo.

My DDs swear a moderate amount and especially if they get angry, there's a lot of fucking this that and the other. I usually pull them up on it, but to be honest, swearing doesn't offend me all that much. I would mind about "cunt" though. It's quite a strong word by most people's standards and it's probably better to learn some restraint.

Thanks. Just to be clear, she only directs it at people on the tele and, occasionally, her brother. I'm trying to ignore it as it's probably an attempt to shock. It's useful to hear your thought, thank you.

I don't swear in front of my children and I have taught the teenagers that they can swear as much as they like elsewhere but they don't swear in front of adults, they definitely don't swear in front of me and they absolutely positively must never ever swear in front of their grandparents.

For me it is not about not swearing, it's about swearing when it is appropriate. Generally speaking, for me, that is amongst their peers.

Nope. I don't swear in front of her and I don't allow her to swear in front of me. She's almost 17. I swear a lot personally but not in front of my kids and never in anger. She's never sworn in front of me- and if she is telling me a story about someone at school for example , she'll spell out any swear words to me

Works for us and it's how I was brought up

If my daughter used the word cunt in front of me I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong tbh

Mine don't swear in front of us, but then again we rarely swear in front of them.

I don't swear in front of my Dad or older relatives either.

It's more of a polite thing really.

I know what you mean MrsF sometimes they will do stuff to get a reaction, and it's difficult to know whether to respond or not.

I don't think it is right to swear in front of parents. The main reason for me is that I think it is important to be able to avoid swearing where it is not appropriate, and I think you learn that initially by not swearing around parents/teachers. I think most teenagers swear around their friends. As an adult I know I can switch my swearines on or off depending on the company, and I learned that skill as a teenager.

I always remember my mum frowning when she heard people swearing and put it down to a 'distinct lack of vocabulary' , bless her. I've tried using that with my DDs.

Ds is nearly 15 and swears occasionally - does not use the word cunt, though. Swearing does not bother me, but I emphasise to him he needs to be aware when swearing is/is not appropriate and that others may not appreciate his choice of words.

I agree, the personal insults aren't ok.

It's abusive and if they're not careful, they could end up carrying that sort of behaviour into other relationships.

MaryZ, yes you're right. Our swearing is at things or situations, not people.
My Mothers favourite one is "For feck sake, you're after making a pig's mickey out of that!"

The teenagers in our family are very strong against any sort of swearing. (Neither will they watch films at home which aren't rated for them and/or which might contain 'naughty scenes'.) Real Palmerstonian types.

It's a great trial to the adults - we can't use any strong language even in extremis or we get the fish-eye and the Tut-Tuts.