To ask if your teenage children swear? And do you mind?

[MrsFring]

I have three teenagers; Dd1 (19), DSL (17) and Dd2 (14). I swear. Quite a bit when I've got my dander up. The older two swear in extremis but not very much, their choice. Dd2, however, has started to swear much more frequently and 'cunt' is her currently favoured word. She tends to use it when upset by something on the news or when fighting with her brother (which is most of the time). She assures me that she never uses it at school when a teacher could hear her.

She is a very principled, passionate girl and does tend to get a bit carried away. DH is more bothered by her swearing than I am, I suspect that he considers it unladylike but would never dare to say that to me.

What do think? Would you mind?

I agree, noddy. I'm sure most teenagers experiment with swearing as they do with alcohol etc.

Woah, it's all kicking off! To be clear, again, she doesn't live in a family where it's acceptable to say 'pass the fucking salt mum, y'cunt'. Neither do we tolerate any form of hate-speak; if any of them were to use bitch or slut they would never hear the last of it. My daughter has very strong feelings about a current election issue, for reasons that are very personal to her. She has only used the word cunt in this context and during a spirited debate with her brother on the same subject. This is a new thing for her so my OP was to get a selection of views from other parents, as I said, we are not a particularly sweary family.

Where did she hear this word? From me, her so-called parent. So mea culpa Liv, mea maxima fucking culpa.

yeh I would be pretty fucked off if my kids started using the word 'chavvy', it is such a rude and sneery expression. But then they wouldn't say it liv, it is called 'parenting' lol.

We aren't a sweary family either tbh but we do occassionally swear, we watch tv with swearing in etc
I like to think I go to the realistic school of parenting whereby I don't have to be perfect and not everything is a disappointment. Which is a good job as I have a teenager who has severe disabilities so I had to get over myself pretty quickly anyway. If you don't like that, you can fuck off quite frankly

There was young lady from Bude
Who danced on the stage in the nude
A young man up front
Shouted "We want cunt"
Just like that, out loud, fucking rude!

Thanks Grovel! I'll tell Dd, she can have that printed on a T-shirt.

I made Discussions of the Day!

Don't feel sorry for my children Liv

They are great children. Very polite and know when and where they shouldn't swear. They are kind, loving and care about other people and they make me proud every single day.

They don't need your sympathy.

I don't have children (yet!) but growing up I wasn't allowed to swear in front of my parents. Once I got to be about 16/17 it became less of an issue and they didn't tell me off if I said 'shit!' when I stubbed my toe or something of that nature.

They were not that sweary in front of me, Dad especially, and when my mother swore it was always in context. Normally when she was ranting about injustice or inequality between the sexes!

Once I left my teens we established a very comfortable friendly relationship and I wouldn't think twice about swearing in front of them. I would never say the c word though!

I feel like this model is something I would like to replicate once my child is born, and it's likely to repeat itself as I'm the sweary one and DP is much more genteel

Knobhead is a brilliant word. I especially like the fact that it has it's own miming action - not many swear words can claim that

Well op if you dont mind and if she is using it in context then its fine but if my dd said he is a cunt i would be asking her to find another insult iyswim im a bit swear lite sort of person

My step dad was an aggressive swearer usually at tv at football im not a sensitive soul but i always associate the stronger swear words as aggressive and it bothers me.

I swear as in bloody and hell in front of my children, I don't usually use stronger words in front of them although I do swear quite a bit normally

Ds1 (16) thinks he may have heard me say fuck once or twice...never shit or cunt

Dd (13) and ds2 (nearly 12) have never heard any of these words from me

Ds1 and ds2 have said shit once in front of me, they won't be doing it again

They both understand that when they are with their friends they can do what they like

We had quite an interesting chat about it the other day, origins of words such as bitch and bastard and fuck

And dd thinks that the C word is "crap", Lord love her

There is no such fucking word as 'infront'.

Now, that feels better.

I do object to words used to describe women such as 'slag' 'bitch' etc and have gone into great detail with DS as to exactly why these are not acceptable and the thought processes behind them.
Better to have the discussion than just say 'NO Swearing' surely?

I don't swear, not even on MN. DH swears rarely.
DS1(19) never swears and objects very strongly to it, I have no idea why.
I have never heard DS2 swear but it's possible he does among friends.

I wouldnt like to hear anyone use 'cunt' as a swear word as it is slang for vagina. In my view that is disrespectful to a part of the female body
I rarely swear-and rarely more than 'bloody' (yes I know its blasphemy) . Neither does my DH. And never at people . Only things or sithuations DDs certainly dont swear in our hearing. And suspect only in real extremis outside of it . A

After growing up in a strict house, where I had my mouth washed out with fairy, for saying bloody when I was 14 and had broken my wrist I don't have a problem with DCs swearing. They're only words and the context and tone they're used in is more important. I don't allow the c word, because that's how wanker XH refers to me but then again DS uses it the way I say twat or knobhead when someone cuts me up.

So in answer to your question I wouldn't mind.

Have now read whole thread
When I met DH he worked in a very creative industry and I found the language he and his colleagues used at work (I went to lot of 'do's ) astonishing. There was a 'fuck' or other swear word virtually every other word (this is 35 years ago)-used descriptively I did wonder why they lacked the vocabulary to express themselves more imaginatively ,given what they did for a living. I tried not to find it offensive as it wasn't intended to be . DH rarely swore in any other context(s) . Was really odd.

2 teenagers her 15/18 and mild swearing is generally acceptable as long as it's not at someone in an aggressive manner. The F word is used alongside Sh, Bos and Bl*y.

I'm trying to go for a balanced outlook and in most cases moderate bad language is acceptable in society IMHO, we all like comedy and generally there is a level of swearing in most stand up routines.

If one of my teens called me a F*G C* there would be severe consequences, but they wouldn't.

I don't swear much And I did say "fucking" at work once and my staff thought it was hilarious as I don't usually swear.
My son and daughter do swear on occasions. My daughter is in the Arts at musical theatre college and they use "fuck" all the time. My son does use it more than I like. I ask him not to use it in front of grandparents.

I very very rarely swear out loud and neither does DH. We will bring our DDs up not to swear but I imagine they'll probably do it in their teenage years amongst friends.

Apart from bugger and bloody I have never heard either of my parents swear.

I'm 28 and if my parents heard me swear I think I would would get a smack .

Actually, 'cunt' used to be a word for a mole last century.

It very occasionally came up in letters when I was doing some research.

I'm afraid I sniggered loudly.

Yes and yes, as she tends to be swearing at me most of the time [shocked] there is no emoticon for failure as a parent but if there was I would be shamefully using it. Where did my litle girl go and why has she been taken over by an angry goady sweary trucker?