To ask if your teenage children swear? And do you mind?

[MrsFring]

I have three teenagers; Dd1 (19), DSL (17) and Dd2 (14). I swear. Quite a bit when I've got my dander up. The older two swear in extremis but not very much, their choice. Dd2, however, has started to swear much more frequently and 'cunt' is her currently favoured word. She tends to use it when upset by something on the news or when fighting with her brother (which is most of the time). She assures me that she never uses it at school when a teacher could hear her.

She is a very principled, passionate girl and does tend to get a bit carried away. DH is more bothered by her swearing than I am, I suspect that he considers it unladylike but would never dare to say that to me.

What do think? Would you mind?

"If they want to swear a bit" omg you actually seem proud that they swear, either that or you just can't be arsed to discipline them properly.

oh get a life liv, at least my kids are like Maryz', and know what is important in life.

but allowing your children to openly swear says more about the parent than it does the child

Only if you define yourself by your child(ren). Which is daft.

Yes my eldest is a teenager, not that it's relevant. I have no intention of controlling every aspect of my children's lives, and if they chose to swear infront of their friends when they're out then that is their perogative, however they already know that I detest swearing and they have never come out with anything infront of me and their dad as they know there would be consequences, it's called parenting but at the same time setting boundaries!

Mine swear a bit, mainly with their mates but never that word. In fact, my youngest DS told me to turn away from a lorry that someone had written 'cunt' on.

I think they would be really upset if I used the phrase 'cunt-face' in front of them.

As you have used it yourself, not sure how you can get your daughter not to. I'd try though, it's not an everyday word IMHO.

" it's called parenting but at the same time setting boundaries! "

what we all do is 'called parenting' btw.

I do have a life, my children know what is important in life and that's family, being happy, friendships etc, why does that mean I should be happy to let them swear constantly.

Mine do, but not in front of teachers, grandparents or friends parents.

It's their perogative, meaning when they are not at home and I'm quite clearly around to make sure they don't use those kinds of words. They know how I feel about swearing but iffy chose to use them when I'm not with them I wouldn't know about it so what do you suggest I do? But anyway the op was talking about swearing in the home and around her family which is something I would never tolerate under no circumstances.

Parenting by your standards maybe, but children should not be allowed to swear, if you allow it then you are not a good parent, sorry.

you see a lot of people would think saying God or Jesus Christ would be OK and 'not swearing', but for many people saying FUCK is far less offensive.
That is what I have taught my children, so they do not 'take the Lords name in vain' not that we are religious but those words do offend.
Also not to direct words at each other.
I think my 'parenting' is fine liv, thanks.

" you are not a good parent,"
and who the fuck are you to be telling people that?

Someone who has the right to judge other parents for allowing their chicken to eff and jeff that's who.

With my so called parenting, I pick my battles. I would prefer my DC not to swear, but it is more important to me that they grow into decent, tolerant, thoughtful, socially responsible people. So I am more likely to pick up on behaviour that is selfish, dangerous or harms others, than on swearing. I have discovered that you can't tell them off for everything they do or say that you disapprove of, or there would be no relationship left.

" Someone who has the right to judge other parents for allowing their chicken to eff and jeff that's who.

I daresay I would have something to judge you on if I met your lovely children who you are teaching to do stuff behind your back, but I really could not be arsed.

So if they were at the park/jungle gyms etc and they decided to start swearing infront of other children, especially toddlers who copy words instantly, would that be ok? Because if your child did that infront of mine I would pull you up on it infront of everyone and i wouldn't hold back on what I thought of you and your little darling!

I swear occasionally but would not ever say cunt, think its a hideous word.

My dd is only 9yo and isn't allowed to swear at all, I imagine this will change once she is a teen but I would still go ballistic if she said cunt in any scenario.

oh do you take your teen to jungle gyms? lol. Mine are 16 not 6.

Oh ok so just because I said that my children MAY at some point choose to use words i would not approve of infront of their friends it automatically means I'm stiffling them and that they have to say these words in secret.....really. Hopefully I'm raising them to be confident young people that won't feel the need to use those kinds of words but if they do, then they do. If it's infront of friends when ok not around then there's little i can do but I will not allow them to get away with swearing infront of me and the rest of our family.

my kids wouldnt swear in front of little ones that is because they know what is what.