To think 11 is old enough to do their own hair

[RosesandRugby]

My DD is 11. She has very very long hair, its down to her ankles so as you can imagine not easy to put up in a plait herself. We have just had a very loud long discussion about whether she should get it cut shorter (shoulder length perhaps) so that she can manage to style it herself as I feel at 11 years of age I should not be doing her hair for her. She disagrees and we have had total meltdown as a result.

I basically think at 11 she should be doing it herself.....shouldn't she ? She feels its ok for me to do it for her, what do the lovely chappies on mumsnet think? Should I stand my ground and insist she do it herself or get it cut shorter ? I really think at 11 I shouldn't even be having this discussion with her, she's old enough to know she should do it herself but I need reassurance I think that I'm doing the right thing and that I'm not being a mean unreasonable mother .

Down to her ankles? Did I read that right

Yes, most 11 year olds do their own hair.

What happens on school trips/sleepovers etc...?

She really needs to get her haircut. Just think, that hair at the bottom is 11 years old. Yeuch.

I couldn't do mine, but I have a disability.

Tell her she styles it herself or has it cut. Entirely her choice.

Ankle length? Wow!

If my hair gets longer than shoulder length it starts to get all scraggly and horrible.

Maybe you just need to refuse to do her hair, I'm sure she will soon get fed up with having to manage the length herself and agree to have it cut.

What's wrong with 11 year old hair? No more disgusting than 11 year old bones imvho.

If she can brush it herself, she can learn how to plait it.

See cutegirlshairstyles.com for ideas.

Not everyone has to have a shoulder length hair, just because its easier.
Maybe she needs a tangle tamer? My long haired DD swears by hers.

11 is plenty old enough. Seriously though how does she manage with hair down to her ankles? Is she sporty or very active? I imagine it gets in the way a lot.

My dd is 11 with long thick hair & I try 2 encourage her 2 brush it herself but she struggles. Before school I expect her 2 brush all the knots out but I do help her when it comes 2 styling it (plait,pony tail etc....)even better if she says please.

Ankles? Really?

Venus your analogy using bones is nonsense. Hair is dead tissue, like nails. Imagine never cutting toe nails or finger nails for 11 years.

Dowm to her ankles? What the heck!!!!

Ankle length? That must be very hard to do yourself. YANBU to refuse doing her hair though.

Her hair is too long. I had long hair that age and suffered for it.

Yanbu.

Dd has been doing hers since juniors and has it is half way down her back. She has had it longer but the tangles and hair washing annoyed her so she keeps it at current length.

Ankles?! I desperately need to see a photo of that OP. Please take a back view photo of your daughter and put it on here.

How long does it take to wash and dry?

Why don't you meet in the middle and cut it to waist length?

Sell that hair.

I'm glad you don't think I'm being unreasonable. She's been told either get used to putting it up herself or I'm going to book her into the hairdressers to have it cut off.

I've been a bit soft because my Mum had my knee length hair cut off with me kicking and screaming and pinned to the floor because I couldn't put my hair up myself and it had got quite badly matted underneath. I've never forgiven my Mum for cutting mine off

Is ankle length hair safe?

Does that mean it's dragging on the floor when she sits down?!

It definitely needs cutting if she can't do it herself.

That is a ridiculous length for hair. How does she keep it out the way for sport?

You are the parent. If you want her to get it cut make a firm stance on it and refuse to deal with her hair. I am sure she will soon get the message.

Could you get her interested in donating her hair for Wigs for Cancer/Chemo patients?

I have Sikh friends who have never cut their hair, of various ages, nothing wrong with having "old" hair.

Unless for religious reasons, I would get the ends trimmed though, because on some people, it does "die".

My Dd is also 11. She does her own hair and has done since year 4 I think. Her hair is mid way down her back when loose. YANBU. Dd is off on school camp next week, how would she cope if she couldn't do her own hair?

Standing up and down out of its usual style its about 1 inch above her ankles. Sitting down its on the floor but its plaited and kept in a bun 99% of the time so not in the way.

Its takes about 1hr 15 to blow dry and the wash is only about 15 mins.

I think even the waist length will be difficult for her to maintain, she says her arms aren't long enough to plait it all the way down

No. 11 is too young to manage ankle length hair alone. My 12yo DD gets herself in a tangle with hers and it's midway down her back.

Yes most 11 year olds do their own hair but to be fair your daughter's is exceptionally long so it will be more difficult to do.

How about suggesting it is cut but so it still reaches her bottom? Still long but easier to manage and she could wear it loose sometimes which I imagine is hard with ankle length hair?