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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is not normal to expect intercourse to last an hour... is it??

207 replies

justkeeponsmiling · 16/03/2014 16:41

So... I was talking to my friend the other day and asked her how the relationship with her new partner was going and she said it was ok but the sex was disappointing. When I asked her to clarify, she said her new man didn't "last as long" as her xbf.
Apparently, the only way she can come is by having actual intercourse for ages. Foreplay doesn't do anything for her and she said she can take it or leave it. So, when asked how long she was expecting it to last, she said at the very least half an hour, preferably an hour or longer!
Now, DH and I have been together for 13 years and have three DCs (my friend has no DCs), so to be fair memories of our sex-life at the start of our relationship, pre DCs is a bit hazy, but I was still a bit Shock and she was genuinely surprised by my reaction.
I wouldn't find it odd to want an hours worth of foreplay (oh, what it must be like to have that much time...) but actual intercourse?
I told her that if my DH expected to pound me for over an hour on a regular basis I'm sure my undercarriage would soon be turning into leather...
AIBU??

OP posts:
BumpyGrindy · 16/03/2014 18:32

I am actually gobsmacked that the majority of you seem to have pretty crap sex really. I had ten min sex as a rule before I met DH...and it was shit! Of course it was boring...now and then it was nice to have a quickie but all the time? No way.

RubyGoat · 16/03/2014 18:34

It would definitely chafe. And then become rather numb. And bleed, eventually.

Electryone · 16/03/2014 18:35

I'd have fallen asleep by then Grin

Me to!

BumpyGrindy · 16/03/2014 18:35

But you don't chafe if you're properly aroused.

PuntCuffin · 16/03/2014 18:40

I am actually gobsmacked that the majority of you seem to have pretty crap sex really. I had ten min sex as a rule before I met DH...and it was shit! Of course it was boring...now and then it was nice to have a quickie but all the time? No way.

Quick doesn't have to equal crap.

ScarlettOHaraHamilton · 16/03/2014 18:41

It's quality, not quantity, and that counts for time taken as well. If it takes that bloody long every time I'd be worried that something wasn't working for one of us Confused

TwittyMcTwitterson · 16/03/2014 18:43

Bumpy, I'm genuinely intrigued! How often do you have your long sessions?

I would be bored equally (I think) if it was always a quicky or always an hour. Variety is the spice of life and that. I have great sex when I have it but it isn't as often as I'd like Confused

Fifyfomum · 16/03/2014 18:44

I have amazing sex! For about an hour (including foreplay which takes up a good portion of the time)

I don't have time to be getting jiggy for hours on end.

Pimpf · 16/03/2014 18:46

I had a boyfriend who could go for hours. Did absolutely nothing for me, he was most offended when I tried to nicely tell him this. I couldn't walk after!

Binkyridesagain · 16/03/2014 18:48

1 hr? I'd be happy with just a quickie, 4 months without even a quick fumble. We are either too knackered, the teens are awake or Aunty Flo has visited. Even when we went away for a weekend we used it to catch up on sleep.

OTheHugeManatee · 16/03/2014 18:48

Was her ex called Sting? Shock

CuntyBunty · 16/03/2014 18:50

I usually have sex every day so an hour of PIV every night would be a bit much for me.
Crap sex, hmmm, what about an intense, hot, ripping your clothes off type sex where you can't wait for it Bumpy?? that type of sex can't go on for long, where you are both wild for it. Phew. I have given myself a "wide on" just describing that.

phantomnamechanger · 16/03/2014 18:50

ye gods - no way! an hour Shock I never even thought this was possible. Does not appeal to me at all.

CuntyBunty · 16/03/2014 18:51

Yes, that's more like it, FeFyFo, a nice hour with lots if foreplay, then a good 20-30 minutes of shlong time.

ScarlettOHaraHamilton · 16/03/2014 18:54

Oh god, when people say AF on here, do they actually mean Aunt Flo??

If so, I think that might have disturbed me more than the idea of an hour of penetrative sex...

Given an honest choice, I'd go for a ten minute rip your clothes off session over an hour of "love-making"

minniebar · 16/03/2014 18:54

I have a theory that people's sex faces are the same as their 'physical exertion' faces.

Think on that next time you go to the gym…

sunshine401 · 16/03/2014 18:57

Everyone is so different my exdp only lasted at most 20 mins. However I have known an all nighter where it could last 2 hours a time and soon be ready again. Some people like it other s don't. Must say I found it very good. [Grin]

sunshine401 · 16/03/2014 18:58
Grin
HauntedNoddyCar · 16/03/2014 18:59

Why doesn't she have permanent cystitis?

CuntyBunty · 16/03/2014 18:59

Scarlett, DH is not allowed to refer to it as "lovemaking". That little expression gives me the opposite of a "wide on". There's nowt wrong with a good, honest, fuck. Down and dirty.

NachoAddict · 16/03/2014 18:59

Bumpy I like to have less actual banging and more foreplay, doesn't make it rubbish.

OneMoreThenNoMore · 16/03/2014 19:01

Good sex shouldn't take that long Wink

When we were young and under the influence of stimulants we would have long sessions, but nowadays half an hour to 45 mins for the full works does us fine.

Quickies are the best though Grin

Snapespeare · 16/03/2014 19:31

I can't honestly say I've ever timed it. Have no idea, it's not under 10 minutes and it's not hours and hours. It probably varies and takes as long as it takes.

WreckTangle · 16/03/2014 19:34

This thread is so funny!

I think the times I've had sex for an hour he's been drunk. It usually ends with me saying "let's call it a night, I'm not gonna come and my legs are fucking killing me"

phantomnamechanger · 16/03/2014 19:39

exactly Wreck IME long sex is not-gonna-work sex, one or both gone off the boil and getting hot/sweaty/uncomfy........no ta!

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