To Question What The Hell Went On In This Loo...

[NurseyWursey]

Don't read if you're squeamish with poo

Walked into the Tesco loos, went into a cubicle..

There was poo on the toilet seat, walls and a massive pile in the toilet. But the thing that bothered me most was, there was no toilet roll on top of the poo.

who even does that??

Share your code brown stories if you wish ;)

Same here me that's why I made it, I needed a laugh. I've been off sick for the past fortnight after a depressive breakdown so needed some funny stories

I really didn't expect this thread to make me laugh quite as much as it has.

OK NurseyWursey are you OK now... (I don't really understand what a depressive breakdown is exactly)... feel free to chat about it amid the "poo". Am happy to chat. I can be understanding and lovely (as well as laughing about poo). Promise. x Or if you just want to talk poo, that's fine too! XXX

Aw thankyou melovely that's really nice of you! It basically involved me unable to get out of bed.. then crying on my kitchen floor... but enough of that!

POO

Melovelyneighbour, I have no idea why someone would decide to take a poo against a wall. Maybe they think its a bit classier than doing it in the gutter. On one occasion there was tissue but not on another. I don't want to think about the state of their underwear.

Boak. I would have yaked had I seen that.

I have only ever done a poo in a toilet. To my knowledge. Obviously have been drunk (very) on occasion... but don't recollect ever doing a poo anywhere that I should not have done a poo.
I don't understand why not 100's of people here spreading their poo stories... where are they all?

My partner works in tesco they have people who do this on a regular basis I'm lucky to never have walked in to a toilet in that state!

shop'n'shit!! haha

I've name changed for this as I thought I may be able to shed some light, but the shit on the toilet seat and the 'ironeyness' of said turd has made me sigh with relief that I am not guilty.

Yesterday DS6 was desperate for a pooh just as we got into town, he wouldn't usually dump in such an establishment but he had no choice so he went into Tesco did his business, realised there was no loo roll AND the toilet wouldn't flush skanky bastard's sink was out of order too he had to wipe his bum on his school socks and chuck them in the sanitary towel bin, please don't judge me, what else could we do!!? (there was no other cubicle to nick loo roll from)

So if anyone saw a pan full of naked poo and school socks poking out of the sanitary towel bin in Macclesfield Tesco please accept my sincere apologies and if it helps I bought a big issue on my way out!

frank that's made me laugh! Well if needs must... least you used a sock instead of fresh air or a wall!

I've been elbows deep in shit at times (nurse), my worst was when a poor confused lady asked me to retrieve her glasses from her locker drawer, when I opened the draw there was a humongous shiney log insitu.

I've also had my arm and uniform 'fingerpainted' several times, elderly, confused patients having a rummage in their pad and then grabbing me as I went near. It's ever so glamourous.

*drawer

Frank - that is soooo funny. I think! I am laughing so much!! I love this thread. At least he wiped his bum. That is a very good thing. A very well-mannered boy you have there. Socks are cheap in the scheme of things.

P.s, hope the Poo Memoirs are cheering you up Nursey

There's an underpass in Sunderland that regularly has shit down the walls. It's lovely

Thankyou areyou they surely are!

I have one story that is just too sickening to share, it involved poo in teeth. Lets just leave that one there...

I bow down to you nurse people (and your poo experiences). Amazing. You are.

Amazing. You are.

Sorry crap joke ha

NURSEYWURSEY... POO IN TEETH.... NOW! Please... and I want to hear it even though my curry is just about to be delivered!
PLEASE!

That poo person probably went round the supermarket touching all the veg with their shitty fingers

It involved a lady who was extremely drunk. She was having a 'play' but didn't realised she'd poo'd. Then must have been biting her nails or something...

I didn't see this in a professional capacity by the way I was just there!

On our way back from lunch, I returned to the office with friends to be greeted by a woman taking a dump by the skip next to the office entrance. She obviously thought it was a derelict office building. Nice.

There was a dude on embarrassing bodies who went on with an arse irritation.

It turned out, he didn't know that he was supposed to wipe his arse after taking a dump.

pmsl @ embarrassing bodies dude