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Original poster

To Question What The Hell Went On In This Loo...

210 replies

NurseyWursey · 14/03/2014 18:45

Don't read if you're squeamish with poo

Walked into the Tesco loos, went into a cubicle..

There was poo on the toilet seat, walls and a massive pile in the toilet. But the thing that bothered me most was, there was no toilet roll on top of the poo. Confused

who even does that??

Share your code brown stories if you wish ;)

OP posts:
Mintymoomoo · 15/03/2014 21:35

Cocolipew are you serious? Vomited shit??? Can that even happen?

Oldraver · 15/03/2014 21:36

I once went into a loo in a club that obviously wouldn't flush so was quite full of loo paper and the rest. Sitting on the top was a perfect Walnut Whip of poo... now I know the girl who came out wouldn't of noticed the loo was full but it seemed obvious no loo roll had been used.

DoNotDenyMe · 15/03/2014 21:38

I'm a manager @Tesco. Every now and again we find a customer has done this. The cleaners have been known to refuse to clean it Hmm so it is unfortunately left to the duty mgr at the time to 'sort it out'!!!! (I'm such a lucky girl!)
To be fair, I've never been on duty when it's happened. However, the thing that I simply cannot get my head around is the fact that the staff also do it!!!!..... Pooing on a cistern - an actual turd! WTF????

MarianneEnjolras · 15/03/2014 21:41

Mintymoomoo I think that's just what happens when a poo is not flushed, it swells up with the water in the toilet.

Don't even ask how I know that.

Coco that poor boy!

Mintymoomoo · 15/03/2014 21:43

I'm still really struggling with vomiting shit??? I mean can this actually happen? Feel I need to warm my bf who's 3 year old son struggles with doing number twos

Mintymoomoo · 15/03/2014 21:46

Thank god for that, I read it as he was constipated and ended up puking up the shit instead of it coming out that end! Seriously that will give me nightmares

Original poster
NurseyWursey · 15/03/2014 21:48

I'm sorry to tell you but fecal vomiting is a thing!

OP posts:
Original poster
NurseyWursey · 15/03/2014 21:50

It can happen in rare cases of bowel obstruction.

OP posts:
Mintymoomoo · 15/03/2014 21:53

I feel sick!!!!

MarianneEnjolras · 15/03/2014 22:00

I only knew fecal vomiting could happen because of an episode of House.

MarianneEnjolras · 15/03/2014 22:01

Just thought, my earlier post was x-posted with others so it may not be clear who I was answering. When I said it swells in the toilet I was referring to your friend's dd Mintymoomoo - just in case that wasn't clear.

Mintymoomoo · 15/03/2014 22:06

Marianneenjolras I wish that was the case, sadly I have witnessed these poos seconds after they happen, seriously she would give a grown man a run for his money, I don't know what they feed her lol

MarianneEnjolras · 15/03/2014 22:08
Shock
Katekate77 · 15/03/2014 22:12

I was on a train to Edinburgh, hungover like you wouldn't believe!

I went to the loo, desperate to be sick and to my horror the toilet AND SINK was full of shite (elephant quantities) and chunks of loo roll. Obviously there had been a blockage and people had been forced to shit on each other's shit, then tried to hide it with paper...then just attempting a flush just in case.

I had to crouch over the bowl and boak on the erupting mound of crap, then neither rinse or wipe my mouth or hands due to the epic lack of facilities!

I crawled back, violated and cowered in my seat for the rest of the journey Confused

crazycanuck · 15/03/2014 22:15

We were coming in to land at Gatwick, and it was a pretty hairy landing, which afterwards I thought was the reason for this (as maybe they shat themselves out of fear): we were walking towards the front of the plane to get off and this godawful smell permeated the cabin and got stronger as we approached the middle. I noticed there was poo in the floor (!), and as I turned to tell DS to watch his step I noticed a HUGE pile of poo in the aisle seat! I thought maybe a child had an accident at first, but this was an adult amount of poo. The poor flight attendants, the looks on their faces were priceless, I pitied whoever on the cleaning crew who had to clean it up. I reckon they would have had to replace the seat! I still can't work out how it happened, as it wasn't squished or anything!

Original poster
NurseyWursey · 15/03/2014 22:15

A mate of mine...

went out for a date with a woman and he got REALLY drunk. They got the train home and he shat himself.. on the train.. whilst he was asleep on the floor..

He woke up the next day in her bed, clean.

Bless her heart she'd got him home and cleaned him!

They're together 6 years later with a child. Grin

OP posts:
crazycanuck · 15/03/2014 22:18

Posted too soon.... it was like they had hovered over the seat and let it go, not like it had seeped out of their trousers. Bleurgh.

Fishandjam · 15/03/2014 22:25

My DH earned his husbanding spurs a few years ago when I got norovirus while working in London. (The journey from near Trafalgar Square to Kings Cross, back to the provinces and then driving home, was hideous beyond measure.) He got home to find a pile of diarrhoea-and-puke-covered clothes just inside the back door, and me whimpering in the shower cubicle while my body ejected ballast from both ends. Bless him, he cleaned up everything.

Original poster
NurseyWursey · 15/03/2014 22:52

Fishandjam oh no! I've just spat my drink everywhere at your expense. I'm sorry haha

OP posts:
starsandunicorns · 15/03/2014 22:57

I avoid certin loos at work due to there boakness very large international company the cleaners do not get paid enough to clean some of the sights I have seen

I worked as a cleaner in a old peoples home one lady had done a hugh poo on top of bed and pulled the covers off to flung the poo onto the window I had to go and clean it up she had no demtinta my boss told me she had done it before and said just because you are old doesnt stop you being a scabby cow

Cocolepew · 16/03/2014 00:28

Unfortunately yes it can happen . I think in this case the boy was so impacted his fecal matter backed up into his stomach. He had additional needs so he had some medical complications.

Cocolepew · 16/03/2014 00:34

I had to cut one of DHs poos up the other week , it had blocked the toilet . I'm used to poo, so I did it while he stood outside the door gagging Hmm.

I had to use a knife and cut it into 3 bits

Frizzbonce · 16/03/2014 00:38

Years ago when I temping, I had a horrible job with Railtrack, where one day it was announced that Princess Anne would be visiting. Most importantly nobody was allowed to use the loo on the second floor as it had to be kept pristine for the Royal Arse.

One member of staff let his feelings about the Royal Family be known, by doing a huge steaming poo right in the middle of said bathroom floor. The management threatened to keep us all behind to find out 'the culprit'. (How - do poo matching tests?)

Frizzbonce · 16/03/2014 00:42

Cocol Cutting up a poo! Did you use the good silver?

I thought the story of my ex picking his nose and wiping it on the showerstall where it had to be sandblasted off and me revenging myself by using his toothbrush was bad enough, but CUTTING UP POO?! I take my hat off to you madam.

SmartiesMakeMeNaughty · 16/03/2014 00:58

Towards the end of a festival many years ago, I grudgingly went to use the increasingly horrific portaloos.
The first one I went into had a pyramid of shit so large it peeped up over the rim of the toilet seat and atop the abundant muck pile someone had lovingly placed an individual Mr Kipling Bakewell tart.
I have never eaten one of those again.

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