To Question What The Hell Went On In This Loo...

[NurseyWursey]

Don't read if you're squeamish with poo

Walked into the Tesco loos, went into a cubicle..

There was poo on the toilet seat, walls and a massive pile in the toilet. But the thing that bothered me most was, there was no toilet roll on top of the poo.

who even does that??

Share your code brown stories if you wish ;)

love this

We own a shop on a busy road, a lady used to jog past our shop everyday at the same time, one day she stopped at the side of our shop and crouched down, we thought she was just having a rest or on the phone, only later when we were leaving did we realise that she had left the biggest pile of runny shat I've ever seen!
We never saw her again!

I also had an elderly man tell me he was going to shit on my shoe when we were helping him into the bath. I didnt believe him.

Five minutes later I was washing my shoe in the sink.

There is currently a phantom shitter in my office. Both men and women's, smeared on walls, jizz on mirror, shitting in the bin.

I work in an office of public servants - it's just so wierd and rank!

Went shopping in Plymouth with my now DH on his first trip over from Jersey.

Parked in the car park at the top floor and went to use the stairs.

On every floor in the corner of the stairwell was a human turd of epic proportions.

It stank to high heaven.

We took the lift back up.

A friend was terrorised by a phantom shitter who used to leave it in desk drawers. The desks couldn't be locked. The boss wasn't interested in getting lockable desks or a camera and he had a lockable office so was all right.

They used to open their desks very gingerly in the morning.

It sounds funny but everyone got genuinely upset that someone they obviously trusted was doing this to them.

They were never caught. When it stopped it couldn't be pinned on anyone because it wasn't like someone left and it stopped. It just stopped.

They were civil servants fairy1303. Perhaps the phantom shitter has gone to work with you.

Can this thread go in classics please?
I love a good poo thread.

I was once doing my thing in a very busy Rosemary Conley aerobics class. I tend to go right to the front as everyone bunches, hiding, at the back. Out of the corner of my eye I see random woman one suddenly turn and run really fast out of the hall- then the instructor comes off the stage and kicks something to the side. Everyone continues, then at the end chatting away and a small group is speculating why the woman ran off. Someone says that she had pooed.... mid class, a hard ball fell out her short gym trousers. And it was just kicked to the side!

I love this thread

people are disgusting. I took a part-time cleaning job at my students union when I was at university; including the toilets. Nothing surprises me any more. Someone shat in one of the sinks, once.

My old boss told me in the last job shed worked in, every day in the ladies loo there would be a big turd in the middle of the floor. They eventually found out that it was a woman who refused to use the toilets because they faced in the wrong direction (as in they faced East instead of West or something). I was when my boss told me but think that's quite tame now compared to some of the stories on here!

This is so funny. I thought I knew a thing or two about poo, but I didn't know that phantom shitters were so common. Yuk. I have really enjoyed this thread, so much so that the children have been shouting at me to stop giggling because they can't hear the tv.

I am still here are loving this! I know someone that when they were about 18 (a while ago now) were fed up with their mates. They were abroad on a lads holiday. One of the boys apparently wiped his willy on this particular persons towel after having a shag.... so this particular person was cooking that night. He was cooking sausages. Everyone else got a sausage on their plate with their veg and chips. But no, the man who'd wiped dirty willy on towel got a nice fresh poo on his plate instead of a sausage!

Oh dear lord!

We need a sicky smiley ha

Only vaguely relevant but a friend of mine bought a house from a very respectable couple (bank manager/police officer) and on moving in found literally hundreds of used sanitary towels lining the wall behind the bath and also under the actual bath itself. Also a pile of shit-stained tissses...There was no 'motive' as such (ie. smooth exchange, no maliciopus gazumping etc etc) and iirrc the solicitors did get some financial compensation for my friend. Still makes me shudder to think about it.

Gross!!!!

My friends 4 year old DD does the biggest god dam logs you have ever seen, seriously they are the width of a coke can and about 12 inches long!!! She also never ever wipes and regularly shits all over my loo seat!!!

I never realised how disgusting women are until I started my nurse training on a maternity ward. Used toilet paper just thrown on the floor, blood smeared on toilet seats and walls, unflushed toilets, breast pads left in sinks, used sanitary towels left in showers, etc. There are some very sick females out there.

That was the reason I discharged myself after having DC1 LaGuardia.

Yes the state of the patient only toilets on the post-natal ward I was on had to be seen to be believed. If there is a bin clearly marked for sanitary towels, how about putting them in the bin rather than resting them lightly on top of it or leaving them on the floor?

Mind you, quite a few times you'd see a male visitor coming out of those toilets. Not difficult is it - some toilets were marked for patients only, others were for visitors...

A few years ago one of the children in my class hadn't been able to have a bowel movement for ages, he was going to get an enema the next day. Unfortunately before that could hapen the poo made its way up. He vomited it everywhere. Me and another classroom assistant were trying to clean him up, gagging, I was on my kness cleaning up when my workmate throw up over my head. I dont get paid enough.

Another one , my DH (not at the time) went home with a girl he had meet in the pub. Before DTD he asked to use her toilet was, she said it wasn't flushing right. He said ok thinking he might need to jiggle the chain maybe.
When he went into the bathroom the bath was full to the brim of carrier bags full of shit.

cocolepew, that reminds me of a house I saw back when I was on work experience with Environmental Health. The chap's toilet had packed in, so he used the bath (with the plug in). When that was full, he started to wrap his shite neatly in newspaper (imagine an oblong parcel about half the size of a paperback book) and stack the result packages in his box room. And then the second bedroom. And the dining room. And so on... Floor to fucking ceiling. The EH team were in full biohazard suits with breathing apparatus to clean the place out.

I went to the bus stop for the first time in ages last week to be welcomed to a pair of track suit bottoms on the floor with a big poop inside

What is wrong with these people!?

LaGuardia

I know I always assumed us women were all clean and naice. Oh how wrong I was...

I'm going to admit something now.

Oh god,

Right well..

I once went night fishing with my DP. Only, I ate a full tin of spam and it gave me the shits. I used up all the loo roll. In the end I had to use one of my socks. I didn't want to litter in the lavly countryside so I put it in a crisp packet and took it home :(