To Question What The Hell Went On In This Loo...

[NurseyWursey]

Don't read if you're squeamish with poo

Walked into the Tesco loos, went into a cubicle..

There was poo on the toilet seat, walls and a massive pile in the toilet. But the thing that bothered me most was, there was no toilet roll on top of the poo.

who even does that??

Share your code brown stories if you wish ;)

gamerchick you're joking! I think I missed that episode. Jesus.

The dirty people with a poo fetish.

It may be in youtube.. I don't want to see it. Some people might just not know.

Marking my place in the poo thread. This is hilarious!

It's some sort of Freudian stage that they're stuck in I think. It's something you resolve as a toddler once you're toilet trained, but some people never achieve that level of maturity and they end up being dirty buggers all their lives.

Oh also I worked at a care home, one gentleman was going around to the ladies palming something into their hands..

I heard a collective gasp and shriek..

turned out they were little poo balls he'd been gifting them.

Rofl at the gifting of poo balls. Maybe they'd have been better received if he'd rolled them in glitter?

Went to Ikea, in the lamp department there was an awful smell - and there on the floor was a large poo. Definitely adults sized. We moved away just as a man stepped in it. The smell was gag inducing. Whoever did it had obviously forgotten their porta potty.

I used to have a big horsebox that had a living area in with a sink and hob, seats etc.
One sunday morning I went in there and someone had obviously been in there having a drink there were beer cans and a used condom. Worst of all though was the bucket with a massive turd in it!

Thankyou for that song it's hilarious! Luckily no bedsteads.. I'd dread to think..

OK... just had a chicken shashlick (curry - think spelt correct!)... SPINK... am rolling about thinking about poo balls rolled in glitter.... YUCK... but weirdly still very funny! Or sadly, perhaps just me finds that funny. Unless handed to me of course!

Poo balls in glitter... I think there's a niche market there! I may have to go back and suggest it to him

Why did I start reading this post.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0QHGqSV-q_o

There has been much discussion on MN about edible glitter and its after effects - I'll see if I can find the thread.

I have a 6 year old ds with learning difficulties - we are trying to toilet train him and are having a few poo issues, he has progressed from spreading it over the walls to hiding it - behind furniture, radiators anywhere, so we have to play hunt the poo and are walking round snifffing for shit!!! Makes me think of the Bisto advert................

I also forgot to add one of the ladies thought the poo ball was a malteaser

One morning I couldn't find my phone and I thought it's worth going through our large kitchen bin in case I chucked it in by mistake.(it was switched off so couldn't call it)

I never found my phone but instead I found a plastic bag with some human crap and some wet wipes in it. (Had blocked nose at the time)
Yes, I know, I shouldn't have looked but I never thought I would find poo in there.

I lived in a shared accommodation with 3 other people, no pets around. We sort of guessed straight away who it was. She was an extremely pretty girl who had quite strange habits anyway but this was very OTT.
Obviously never asked her but it was her, no doubt about that.

These are making me laugh so much. My friend used to work in New Look. Once she went into the changing room to find that someone had shat on the floor and wiped their bum on the changing room curtain. Why?!

OH NO... am so sorry CwtchesAndCuddles (I know it's not funny)... But it's your fault... you made it sound funny... I'm assuming hiding poo and sniffing it out is better than smearing it on the walls... so you will get there. Honest.
NurseyWursey... yep, can easily understand how one would confuse a poo ball with a malteaser... NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT. Obviously. I suppose you'd know when you ate it. No crunch!

I got on a very crowded tube one morning,. Carriage stank to high heaven, and there was a tramp stretched out asleep on the seats at one end. The train braked sharply and a shower of poo balls shot out of his trouser leg. Cue lots of commuters leaping about skittishly, trying to avoid the poo.

Am laughing hysterically now. I obviously need to go away and get a life!

pmsl

I can't help but wonder how many of these stories are the other side of the 'I pooed on my skirt at work' thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1439461-I-pooed-on-my-skirt-at-work-today

Many years ago I worked as an usher in a theatre. After the show we had to do a cursory tidy of the seats, picking up sweet packets etc. Doing this one night one of the girls found a human poo. We looked up who was in that seat and it was a reviewer for the local paper!

I once worked in a Boots. Someone pooed in the photo booth cubicle. That was an interesting day.