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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend and her PFB 1st birthday party.

414 replies

OkieDokie · 24/02/2014 08:09

Ok so my best friends DS will be 1 in a couple of weeks. She's having a big party and I've helped her find a room and gave her some caterers numbers for the food.

She's made a few new friends from NCT and some baby groups which I'm happy about as my children are 6, 4 and 2 so probably forgotten what's like to just have a PFB.

Anyway, she told me last week that's she's got some activities like pass the parcel etc but only the one year olds can play the games. She's also renting soft play pieces and getting in some kind of face painter but again only for the 1 year olds.

She said bluntly that I was to keep my kids off the soft play stuff and make sure they don't join in. AIBU to think this is really off? There will be about 20 odd kids from 2-8 and I'm just not sure how I'll keep my 3 off the stuff. Obviously, I'll tell them not to but as I'm 7 months pregnant and I really don't need the extra pressure. The kids will be confused as every party they've been to before they have been encouraged to join in.

I don't know what to say to her and I don't want to fall out over something so silly. I think she doesn't appreciate what it's like to have older kids and wonder why she's invited people with older kids if they're expected to just sit still?

OP posts:
K8Middleton · 24/02/2014 11:44

Have nothing to add. I have gone through all the stages of disbelief, amusement and now I am at the rubbernecking stage.

rollonthesummer · 24/02/2014 11:47

OP, whatever you do, please don't do this..

Say nothing at all to your friend about how you feel
Go on Saturday with your kids
Spend the whole party keeping your own kids away from the fun
Tell everyone else's kids that they aren't allowed to do xyz
Come on here and moan about what a crap day you had.

Grow a pair and say something!

MummyPigsFatTummy · 24/02/2014 11:47

If you fail to change her mind and still feel you have to attend, I would put some of the stuff you have already offered her in the back of your car, along with the things MrsCakes suggests for colouring in and, when it starts to go wrong, you can bring it all out to give the older children something fun to do. That way, at least they will get some enjoyment out of the morning/afternoon.

Gunznroses · 24/02/2014 11:58

I'm in the library reading this
supposed to be writing about the theory of collaborations and struggling hard to keep from laughing literally out loud! can't wait to read what happens next! haven't had a good tummy shaker like this since statesmom's thread. Grin

DinahLady · 24/02/2014 11:58

How on earth do 1 yos play pass the parcel? IME it is disastrous under age 3!

Lol, I was just thinking the exact same thing! They're either going to be trying to eat the paper, or refusing to let go of the present and screaming the house down at being expected to let go of it and pass it on! Grin
The whole party sounds like it would be a stressful experience for you, and I wouldn't be going. Hardly fair to invite your kids and expect them to sit out and away from the other kids, not to mention be incredibly boring for them if they're not allowed to play with anything!
As someone else said, a craft table or something set up in the corner for the older ones would be cheap, and keep them occupied and out of her hair for when the 1 year olds are busy playing eating the parcel....

Cringechilli · 24/02/2014 12:03

This is bizarre. In your position, I would leave 2yo and 4yo at home with someone and take 6yo along to party. Bribe 6yo to adhere to friend's rules. Then watch the fiasco.

Ubik1 · 24/02/2014 12:04

Show her the crying baby pix

Ilovexmastime · 24/02/2014 12:05

K8Middleton just summed it up for me... I too am now just rubber necking. This is truly the first time I can honestly say that my mouth has dropped open while reading a thread.

Gunznroses · 24/02/2014 12:05

Imagine the 2-8yrs old's sitting quietly at the table sipping wine and having quiete conversation, the odd cucumber sandwich here and there, smiling indulgently at the 1yr old's bouncing about on the
bouncer bouncy castle! ash..bliss!

OP make sure you get your video camera ready, a bit of evidence based research on how to throw a 1yr old party never hurt anybody!

Ubik1 · 24/02/2014 12:05

And yes 4 hours is v. v. long for babies.

Never mind, by the time she is 4, it's be the two-hour soft play party, mummy clutching a coffee and rocking gently in the corner

LaVitaBellissima · 24/02/2014 12:06

Marking place Grin

DinahLady · 24/02/2014 12:06

They're not short of money and I've suggested a craft table or I've got a big garden Jenga/connect 4 she can borrow but she said they weren't needed as the soft play takes up a lot of room.

What the bloody hell does she expect them to DO then, just sit out and behave themselves while they're bored out of their brains and watching the other ones play while being told they're not allowed to play on anything?
For FOUR HOURS?! yeah, good luck with that one crazy friend lady

My husband thinks we shouldn't go and I can see where he/everyone on here is coming from but she really wants me there.
Well then, if that was me, I'd go to the party but leave your children at home with your husband, as it won't be any fun at ALL for them at the party. He can take them somewhere nice for the day where they can have far more fun than if they were at the party.
Then I would enjoy laughing my arse off at the loon friend as she runs around screeching at anyone over the age of one to sit and get the hell off the toys. It's going to be CARNAGE. Grin

rollonthesummer · 24/02/2014 12:09

Do as Dinah says and make sure you sit down with your feet up-rubbing your stomach and worrying about twinges to anyone who'll listen. You can't possibly start running around telling other people's children what they can and can't do.

Ev1lEdna · 24/02/2014 12:09

This is bizarre. In your position, I would leave 2yo and 4yo at home with someone and take 6yo along to party. Bribe 6yo to adhere to friend's rules. Then watch the fiasco.

I was thinking the 2 year old might be able to by-pass the strident one and under rules - perhaps I am being optimistic!

I am laughing at the thought of the one year olds eating the pass the parcel paper and being expected to give up the present they have just been passed.

At my eldest child first birthday we drank fizz and he ate most of the smoked salmon blinis (he still has a rather expensive taste for them) and he played with some metal coasters. He looks thrilled in all the photographs! Grin

CuttedUpPear · 24/02/2014 12:10

Selflessly joining thread to watch the car crash delight of Okie's friends party Grin

Ev1lEdna · 24/02/2014 12:11

Imagine the 2-8yrs old's sitting quietly at the table sipping wine and having quiete conversation, the odd cucumber sandwich here and there, smiling indulgently at the 1yr old's bouncing about...

So civilized. Grin

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 24/02/2014 12:13

I honestly wouldn't take your kids to this. If you think you can bear it yourself I'd go along, perhaps for a couple of hours but let DH take the kids out to something they can enjoy. It will be torture sitting there looking at soft play stuff and not being able to enjoy it. To me 1 year olds are too young for soft play anyway; the 2 - 8s would get a lot more of it.

YouAreTalkingRubbish · 24/02/2014 12:13

REALLY!!! You believe someone would spend a thousand pounds on party bags?? There are 20 older kids and I am randomly guessing 10 - 15 1 year olds. Plus hall for four (hmm) hours, plus bouncy castle, plus face painter who weirdly doesn't mind doing 1 year olds plus food and drink. It sounds very odd unless you hang out with particularly wealthy and flashy people.

Clutterbugsmum · 24/02/2014 12:16

If you do go I would suggest you, dh (if he going) and dc take ear plugs. Because the more you write the more it sounds like you are going to be in a room with various aged children having tantums.

The 1 yr old babies because they can not nap, have to sit still while having face painted, then being shocked when shown a mirror as their face won't look right. Not to mention being given nice shiney paper being taken away.

Everyone else being stroppy because they are not allowed to touch anything.

TheTerribleBaroness · 24/02/2014 12:26

DinahLady · 24/02/2014 12:28

Another point. Is she expecting all the one year olds to stay awake long enough for four hours?!
My eldest fell asleep half way through his 1st birthday party. Just started snoring away in his high chair over his birthday cake. Grin

YouTheCat · 24/02/2014 12:29

You must go.

Fire your kids up with sugar first and then step back with a video camera.

lunar1 · 24/02/2014 12:32

I know it's not nice to laugh at people but this is hysterical!

Can I make the banner? I can also decorate with sylvanins.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2014 12:37

I know partygluezilla after Tidys wedding experience with gluezilla

ivykaty44 · 24/02/2014 12:39

have you explained to her that other peoples dc aren't as clever as her pub and can't read so there is no point in making a banner Wink