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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my daughter spoken to like an idiot?

201 replies

Wingebag · 09/02/2014 19:01

My dd has just turned 1. She has a few words but understands a lot of what we say to her.

MIL came over today "shall we go for a walk walky walkies?". I has to restrain myself from saying "no, but you could go for a walk". This isn't out of the norm for her, everything she says to my dd is in ridiculous baby talk. I always speak to her in a soft tone, but with normal words. AIBU to request that MIL stops the baby talk (y-walky-talky) now as she will be picking up on it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wingebag · 09/02/2014 19:02

And before anyone says it, yes I've realised I've made a typo - I'm not perfect Grin

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 09/02/2014 19:03

on the fence.

I often find I'm not speaking to babies in a 'normal' tone of voice (it's a big higher and more 'coo-ey' somehow). I think most people do this.

But mispronouncing and lisping words is a bad move imo as it could affect language development

Ifcatshadthumbs · 09/02/2014 19:03

Yes your being ridiculous get over it!

SS3J · 09/02/2014 19:04

Yanbu, it is annoying if done in an over the top way, but actually baby talk does help babies acquire language skills. For example saying 'doggy' rather than 'dog' helps them to hear the 'g' sound. You have to find a balance!

TamerB · 09/02/2014 19:04

You really can't control anyone but yourself! Ignore completely and just carry on talking properly yourself. She will change as she gets older.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/02/2014 19:05

YABU, unless you've missed a digit of your DD's age.

SirChenjin · 09/02/2014 19:06

I think your daughter will cope just fine with hearing different words and sounds from people who care about her and want to spend time with her.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/02/2014 19:07

YABU - baby talk actually encourages language development.

pootlebug · 09/02/2014 19:07

FFS. Unless she spends 90% of her time with your MIL it will have no effect whatsoever.

CoffeeTea103 · 09/02/2014 19:08

Please get a grip. It's just her grandmother being all affectionate with her. Yabu and ridiculous.

TamerB · 09/02/2014 19:08

Latest research actually says it is good. here

500internalerror · 09/02/2014 19:08

I'd agree with you really, based in the fact that we spoke 'properly' to ds1 yet ds2 got babied a bit - ds1 was really advAnced in his speech and vocabulary, ds2 struggled and is still behind where ds1 was at the same age. He also had speech therapy. I'm sure the way language was used in the early stages does play a part.

AGoodPirate · 09/02/2014 19:09

Yabu.
One- it's good for babies.
Two- this is something you should let go. Let the poor woman talk the way she wants!

BelleateSebastian · 09/02/2014 19:11

yabu

phantomnamechanger · 09/02/2014 19:11

nothing wrong with a bit of harmless repetition, alliteration, rhyming etc to reinforce the words.

or a bit of slang based round sounds they find it easy to mimic. babies can generally say "moo" and "baaa" before they can say cow or lamb - hence the terms moo-cow and baa-lamb. Babies who are talked to and encouraged to say words (even if they are not "correct - like them calling a GP gong, and it sticking as a pet name) do really well at socialising and learning. why would they try talking if everything gets corrected and they end up frustrated cos they can't say a word how the parent wants them to.Likewise teaching a child "ta" is sometimes frowned upon but I would rather they learnt to say thank you in their own way from being dots, than turn into ungrateful so-and-so's

DanceParty · 09/02/2014 19:12

Babies respond to 'sing-song' voices - which is what it was. YAB precious methinks.

VerlaineChasedRimbauds · 09/02/2014 19:12

"Baby talk" can be helpful. I know a family where the younger son was very slow to talk ( so much so that they sought professional advice) - one of the identified problems was that he was surrounded only by adult talk and had a very articulate elder sibling with whom everyone engaged on "adult" terms. Apparently missing out the coo-ing stage isn't helpful.

lovelyredwine · 09/02/2014 19:13

Several people we know would do that with our dd and it wound me up too. I know that baby talk is meant to help language development, but IMO it sounds stupid. We always used the correct words with our dd and her speech developed well.

As others have said though, it won't do her any harm and you will have more influence on her than others, even close family members. In other words, you probably need to suck it up rather than alienate mil over something trivial like this.

KippyVonKipperson · 09/02/2014 19:13

Annoying, I agree, but personally for me I'd let this one go. Pick your battles and all that

Purplepoodle · 09/02/2014 19:14

Yabu. Irritating yes but let it slide. Save it for bigger battles :)

phantomnamechanger · 09/02/2014 19:14

500 - with respect, your evidence based on a sample of 2, when no 2 children are the same and even twins raised in exactly the same way develop at different speeds, is not really proof.

VenusDeWillendorf · 09/02/2014 19:14

So long as she's not putting her on the dog's lead I can't see what the problem is!

Don't sweat the small stuff OP, keep your powder dry for the big issues.

Actually envious your MIL is there to give you a few minutes 'off' by bringing your dd for a ikkle walky walk. :) enjoy!

Greythorne · 09/02/2014 19:15

It is called "motherese".

redbinneo · 09/02/2014 19:15

She has just turned one.
She is a baby, baby talk is appropriate.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/02/2014 19:16

I know that baby talk is meant to help language development, but IMO it sounds stupid

Isn't how it sounds to the baby is more important? Hmm