To not want my daughter spoken to like an idiot?

[Wingebag]

My dd has just turned 1. She has a few words but understands a lot of what we say to her.

MIL came over today "shall we go for a walk walky walkies?". I has to restrain myself from saying "no, but you could go for a walk". This isn't out of the norm for her, everything she says to my dd is in ridiculous baby talk. I always speak to her in a soft tone, but with normal words. AIBU to request that MIL stops the baby talk (y-walky-talky) now as she will be picking up on it?

19.40....'and mil had her 60 percent of the time'
Unless I've read it wrong
It has been known.

That was her dsd, not the op's dd.

YANBU. Baby talk is stupid, how will she learn the proper words for things if she doesn't hear them? Walkies sounds like something you would say to a dog! Ask your MIL politely not to use baby talk as you are trying to teach your DD the correct words for things. She probably used it with her babies and doesn't realise you do things differently but she should respect your decision.

Only1, back up a few words: "dsd didn't speak well until she started school - and mil had her 60% of the time."

The OP's DD, being 12 months old, has not yet started school.

Sorry topaz, but that is just rubbish. Just because one person in her life uses the term 'walkies' doesn't mean she will only learn that one word!

Dd1 and 2 made up all sorts of words for things - raisons were 'diggies' forages, woodlice were 'binces', they still learnt the proper words at some point.

Stand corrected
Whoops

You'll be the professor with the specialism in child language development then Topaz .

I wouldn't bother saying anything, just model the words you prefer to use when you speak to your daughter. She'll pick up the correct language - and probably invent a few words of her own (which you may well think are so unspeakably cute that your family continues to use those words even when your D is 10!)

My grandmother used to use phrases when speaking to DD that I couldn't even decipher- I had to ask what 'going tatt-tatts' meant (going for a walk, apparently).

I don't claim to be a professor or think it prevents children acquiring language but it can't help them. What is the point of baby talk? It's for the benefit of the adults, I'm not saying it harms the baby but it doesn't benefit them either. If you were learning another language, would you like to be taught the correct words or nonsense words? It's fine if the MIL talked that way to her own child but the OP doesn't want her child to be talked to like a dog and I agree with her.

But you can't go round telling loving affectionate adults how to talk to your child. If she was swearing, then yes. Or calling her names of course. But a bit of baby talk from grandmother to grandchild. There is no need to police that.

topaz totally wrong and actually the op has absolutely no right telling the mil how she can ideal to her own granddaughter. fucking ridiculous. it's a bit of baby talk so bloody what.

Oh no, I'm terrible for baby talking to my ds, now 2.5yrs, I have embarrassing pet names for him, we sing songs which are entirely nonsensical and have no meaning and his milk is 'milkies', and as a pp mentioned, a nap is indeed 'bowbies'. Somebody shoot me now!

My DD1 is 3 and she can talk for England! She has astounded her pre school with her skills at rhyming words. We talk utter shite at home...drinky winky, socky wocky doo dahs, snacky wacky time...

Playing with language is FUN. If DD1 says a sentence incorrectly eg. I winned that game, then I just say Yes, you won that game. But generally if we can understand her meaning we don't stress out about the 'correctness' of her speech.

MrsDeVere That article was interesting but it says:
"“We use changes in pitch and rhythm when we talk to children, and we emphasize important words This is what children usually learn and produce first.”"

It doesn't say anything about nonsense words. The OP has already said she changes pitch and rhythm when talking to her daughter.

aintnothinbutagstring
It's not terrible for you to baby talk to your child, it's your decision. It's also the OP's decision not to to want her child talked to like that. To use baby talk or not is a parenting decision and her MIL should respect her decision, just like with any other parenting issue.

I think your mil sounds lovely op. Wanting to take your lo for a walk and helping out for such alot of time with your dsd. Baby talk is fine, might irritate you but isnt it nice that your dd has a gm who loves her and enjoys spending time with her.

Parenting issue. Snort.

bodygoingsouth

Wow. I hope you don't talk like that to your DC or encourage them to talk like that to people who disagree with them because in school they will have to have debates with people who have alternative points of view without simply swearing at them. Maybe that's a skill you could learn too?

Parenting issue!!

Topaz you sound terribly serious.

I didn't say it was harmful. I simply meant it was the OP's decision and one I personally agree with not to use baby talk. I didn't say anyone else shouldn't use it or should be shot for using it or swear at anyone so I think the responses are a bit OTT. I didn't tell anyone what to do for a living, MIL isn't an occupation.