To not want my daughter spoken to like an idiot?

[Wingebag]

My dd has just turned 1. She has a few words but understands a lot of what we say to her.

MIL came over today "shall we go for a walk walky walkies?". I has to restrain myself from saying "no, but you could go for a walk". This isn't out of the norm for her, everything she says to my dd is in ridiculous baby talk. I always speak to her in a soft tone, but with normal words. AIBU to request that MIL stops the baby talk (y-walky-talky) now as she will be picking up on it?

Topaz - you might also enjoy those nonsense words from Mr Milligan

I actually do! But of course I read them once I'd already learned the correct words.

The love and attention are the important thing, not a grandmother scared to do or say anything in case she is judged.

Why would she be scared? Why should the OP be scared to talk to her?

Really - you read them? No-one read them to you? How sad. Generations of children have loved nonsense rhymes and poems being read to them, and have suffered no long term effects whatsoever.

Incidentally - there are no 'correct' words for the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong

I loved reading and learned to read at an early age, I'm sure people read them to me too, no need to weep for me lol. I don't think nonsense words cause ill effects.

YAB unreasonably weasly woo woo.

Baby talk improves language development rather than delays it. Try www.ican.org.uk for info.

My nearly 3 year old says bot bot, boobie boobie and num num - and we say em all right back. He also had a ten minute serious discussion on where rain came from with his father this morning that included several significant concepts explained using similes, scientific language and creative adjectives. He is lso currently doing a good line in bugger and fuck.

YABVU. Evidence is against you and in a world where kids face real neglect you should be thankful to have such a loving MIL.

If you are asking me I said the grandmother would be scared to speak because of OP being judgemental.

I wasn't weeping for you.

Obviously I realise there are no correct words for the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong, I just meant I read those poems (and had them read to me) when I already understood other words. I really don't think there is anything wrong with those poems and never said there was. They are different to baby talk but I don't think that is harmful either.

I meant there is no reason to be sad for me because I loved reading as a child.

I speak normally to my son. I have tried not to use random words in the past in case it confuses him.

He is 4 and doesn't speak.

Do i win something??

My mum however, used to talk to our dog like that. Everything had a 'y' on the end or rhymed. The dog understood it all!

I forget my point...

Excellent - then we're all in agreement that nonsense words, baby talk and silly made up words from one adoring family member are not going to harm the linguistic development of the OP's pfb DD. If anything, as the evidence shows, they will have quite the opposite effect.

Whether or not the OP wishes to challenge her MIL regardless is her look out, of course - but picking your battles and not sweating the small stuff is important in building good family relations.

Yes I agree baby talk is not harmful. I just said I think it sounds stupid but I am sure there are things other parents do that you don't agree with or think are silly but are not actually harmful, it's a personal decision.

The question is not whether the OP should feel free to raise her children as she likes, but whether this should involve interfering with and controlling every relationship her children has with other people. Even at 1, her dd is an individual in her own right who is building her own relationship with her grandma. If grandma feels that her DIL is worrying about every minor detail of how she speaks, that relationship may well suffer. Children need many, many relationships as they grow up and most of them will not exactly mirror their parents' ideal as to every detail. That's why they are so beneficial

i hate it too everyone spouts how good it is for babies to hear this type of talking my daughter was with me 90% of the time (more probably) i didn't use baby talk she was my first unexpected and quite frankly i felt like a muppet doing it i was used to working 18 hour days two jobs going drinking with my friends then i get pregnant and have a baby this pink thing that paid soooo much attention the result was she was a very advanced talker she was the first child (in toddler group) to attempt the word vampire (i liked buffy at the time) she was concise and precise in her diction and shocked the hell out of medical staff she was also the politest little child you ever met as i never expected to be a parent i didnt know you didnt teach children please and thank you right away i even got told off about it! i think baby talk is irritating repeat once yes repeat constantly not unless you have a stick in your wheel

When dgd was 2 I offered her bread to feed the 'duckies' she said "They aren't duckies grandma they are mallards!"
Don't fret op it will do no harm other than to irritate you :)

All this thread illustrates is, that there is no completely right or wrong way to teach our children how to speak.

Two children growing up in the same family, spoken to in the same way, can develop completely differently.

All that really matters is that you interact with your children, and that you allow others to do so too (without micro-managing their every move).

I baby talk to my cats now kids are older.

When I saw your title I thought your dd might be a child/teenager, she is only 1, a baby, so yes some people do talk to babies using baby talk. Yabvu, grin and bear it, it won't last forever.

Wingebag,

We have always talked to our children normally and never done the baby-waby crap. It is your choice with your children.

I wouldn't worry.

The babbling baby talk in their first years introduces all the linguistic sounds of the parental language. This makes it easy for your baby to acquire perfect mastery of the parental lingo, and explains why we find it hard to speak, say, Japanese (or anything requiring "click" tonals) that English doesn't have.

I use the same vocabulary for everyone (after filtering out the * words) Scares the hell out of teens! hee hee.

Sounds like you and your mother in law (MIL?) have it totally sorted.

Brilliant!

I have no opinion on the matter, but can anyone explain to me why I talk to dogs in gibberish yet talk to babies entirely in adult language (way more properly than I actually speak to other adults)?

It baffles me.