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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my daughter spoken to like an idiot?

201 replies

Wingebag · 09/02/2014 19:01

My dd has just turned 1. She has a few words but understands a lot of what we say to her.

MIL came over today "shall we go for a walk walky walkies?". I has to restrain myself from saying "no, but you could go for a walk". This isn't out of the norm for her, everything she says to my dd is in ridiculous baby talk. I always speak to her in a soft tone, but with normal words. AIBU to request that MIL stops the baby talk (y-walky-talky) now as she will be picking up on it?

OP posts:
Trills · 09/02/2014 19:18

She's not being spoken to like an idiot, she's being spoken to like a baby.

If you were objecting on the grounds of "it's really annoying to listen to" I'd agree with you :o

hazeyjane · 09/02/2014 19:20

YABU

When babies talk about things like doggies, and walkies and bye byes and bickies, they are not talking 'like idiots' they are talking like babies.

Talking to babies encourages speech and understanding, no matter what.

IamInvisible · 09/02/2014 19:21

YABU, she's is being spoken to like a baby not like she is an idiot, FFS!

Floggingmolly · 09/02/2014 19:22

Spoken to like an idiot. Then I open the thread and discover she's one. Biscuit

cory · 09/02/2014 19:22

What you need to recognise is that your MIL is going to have a relationship with your dd which is separate from the relationship between you and your dd or between you and your MIL.

How that relationship works out - shared language, special jokes etc- will be for them to negotiate. And quite likely part of the negotiation will involve your dd saying to her grandmother in a year or two: "Grandma, why do you talk silly?"

But that is her job. Your job is to ensure that your dd is safe, but otherwise to let them get on with it.

Goldmandra · 09/02/2014 19:24

It's good for babies to hear people playing with sounds, rhyming, alliteration, etc because it highlights patterns and encourages experimentation.

There is an argument for teaching children the correct names for things rather than having them learn one name and then another when they are older but that's not going to happen unless she sees an awful lot of your MIL, i.e. several hours of every day.

You need to look at the positive sides of your DD's interaction with her DGM because she will learn different things from different people in her life and GPs have a lot to offer.

YWBU to say anything.

temporarilyjerry · 09/02/2014 19:24

DH does this when he talks to the dog. She is 3 now and still can't say a word.

HumphreyCobbler · 09/02/2014 19:25

babbling and repetition is positively beneficial for language development

cory · 09/02/2014 19:26

temporarily Grin

perhaps speech therapy is the way to go

CheesyBadger · 09/02/2014 19:26

I thought babbling to babies was good for their development and is encouraged? I have no concrete quotes or proof though so ignore at will. Playing with words is supposed to encourage language development

MrsDeVere · 09/02/2014 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 09/02/2014 19:28

Yes yabu. I can't believe you would actually tell your mil not to do it. It causes no harm at all, and frankly, would make you seem like a critical, nitpicky moaner, pulling rank. Yuck. Don't be that dil.

phantomnamechanger · 09/02/2014 19:29

DH does this when he talks to the dog. She is 3 now and still can't say
a word

^ LOL - I bet she goes on dogsnet and posts "AIBU to not want my owner to speak to me like I am an idiot"

OP - do make sure she draws the line somewhere, you don't want DD off to nursery saying thank you- wank you

SauvignonBlanche · 09/02/2014 19:29

DH does this when he talks to the dog. She is 3 now and still can't say a word
What a bastard! Grin Grin

Wuxiapian · 09/02/2014 19:30

YABU.

And melodramatic.

LurkingNineToFive · 09/02/2014 19:30

It's called 'motherese' it creates auditory interest and highlights the important aspects of tone and inflection. Young children have been proven to react to it more and people claim it helps language development. Some people do go a bit over the top but it won't be doing her harm maybe even the opposite.

Nanny0gg · 09/02/2014 19:32

Not everything done in the Old Days was actually wrong - sometimes Granny does know what she's talking about...

Smile
Pagwatch · 09/02/2014 19:32

Yabu and are a little uninformed.

MissBattleaxe · 09/02/2014 19:33

When I read the thread title I thought somebody was talking to your teenage daughter in a patronising or degrading way then I open the thread to see that a loving grandmother is talking to her DGD who has just turned one!

My parents talk daft to the kids sometimes and I just think, "well at least they're talking to them, and showing an interest".

Your MIL is quite right to address your DD and ask her questions. At least she isn't ignoring her and just asking you "Does she want a walk?"

She is a grandmother talking to her granddaughter who has just turned one! Unclench.

MissBattleaxe · 09/02/2014 19:33

Oh YABVU by the way.

NonnoMum · 09/02/2014 19:33

Agree with lurking

love the term 'motherease" - think you need to go with the flow, OP...

waltermittymissus · 09/02/2014 19:39

Jesus wept!

I've heard it all now.

Original poster
Wingebag · 09/02/2014 19:40

Thanks for the different opinions.

I do understand how it is beneficial in some ways, I studied child development (years ago). It's not the baby talk per se, it's more the fact that she can't say a single sentence without completely changing at least one word. Little is likkle, Uncle Phil becomes Philly-willy-willy and her puppy toy is referred to as ikkle likkle doggy woggy. Dd has no clue what she's talking about as everyone else calls it puppy.

I will let it go for now I guess, but dsd didn't speak well until she started school - and mil had her 60% of the time.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 09/02/2014 19:44
Hmm My ds2 didn't speak until he was 4. Is that my fault?

That 'my dsd didn't speak until she started school' comnent is fucking offensive. Are you seriously suggesting speech delay can be caused by an involved adult?

Nanny0gg · 09/02/2014 19:44

I will let it go for now I guess, but dsd didn't speak well until she started school - and mil had her 60% of the time.

And that may be completely unrelated. I assume you won't be leaving your DD with her for that amount of time anyway, so it won't be an issue.