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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that two 18 yr olds can walk for 5 minutes

218 replies

YeahRightWhatever · 22/01/2014 19:20

DS has a new g/f who lives about 5 minutes walk away, on busy-ish roads, well-lit etc. Her parents are really over-protective IMO, she is driven everywhere and has never been on a bus or a train on her own or even with friends. Anyway,they are not happy with her walking home from here even if DS goes with her - especially in the dark but transpires they are not even happy with her walking in broad daylight. We live in a very average town in the shires with no particular crime issues. My DDs (now in 20s) were allowed much more freedom at the same age. So whenever she is here either we have to drive her home, which means we can never have a glass of wine, and frankly I resent starting the car for such a short trip or she has to get one of her parents to collect her, and depending on what they're doing there can be quite a delay, and a few times now this has impinged on our own arrangements. Overall this is starting to really annoy me - they are 18 FGS. Am reluctant to rock the boat as gf is lovely. AIBU to think they are being ridiculous? But even if IANBU I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 22/01/2014 19:22

Wow. They are being ridiculous!!

She's an adult!

I bet they'd faint at the mere thought of her having sex :)

Yanbu.

Remotecontrolduck · 22/01/2014 19:23

She's 18. They have no right to dictate to her like that. She just needs to walk home, what exactly are they going to do about it, ground their adult daughter?!

WitchWay · 22/01/2014 19:23

I think it's a bit silly too - surely he can walk her home then walk by by himself.

When we used babysitters my DH would always walk them home until the time we had a 16yo boy sitting for us. I told his mum we'd see him home & she told me not to be daft, he'd be fine Grin

Ubik1 · 22/01/2014 19:23

Have a glass of wine. She is a bloody adult. If she wants a lift home tell her you have had a drink, offer a cab or tell her to phone mummy and daddy.

Better still, just tell your son to walk her home. I was living at university and frequently travelling all over the country as many teens still do today

ooerrmissus · 22/01/2014 19:24

They are being utterly ridiculous. If they don't want her to walk they will have to pick her up at a time that suits you. Either that our your DS will have to go around their house instead of her coming to yours. I don't see why you should have to ferry her when it is such a short distance.

WitchWay · 22/01/2014 19:24

Walk home by himself I meant not by by

Salmotrutta · 22/01/2014 19:24

Loopy.

Don't offer to drive her!

WitchWay · 22/01/2014 19:25

Ooh imagine if they get married, how precious & controlling your DS's MIL will be...

Ubik1 · 22/01/2014 19:26

Also gf may be lovely but won't she quickly become PITA for your son if she expects the full princess treatment from him as well? Let them assert themselves and bloody walk home, or deal with it themselves. You get on with what you are doing.

bigTillyMint · 22/01/2014 19:26

I think now is the time to put your foot down.
At least on the evenings when you want to relax with a glass of wine!

Either he walks her home or they pick her up. Simples.

SilverApples · 22/01/2014 19:28

They sound unstable if they won't let her walk home with DS.
If they want to collect her, I'd leave her sitting on the front step/in the garden if we all had to be elsewhere.
Is she going to uni? Grin

callamia · 22/01/2014 19:28

Have a drink so you can't drive her.
It's nonsense for her parents to expect you to nursemaid their daughter in this way. Poor girl.

LineRunner · 22/01/2014 19:28

You have to be firm and refuse to drive her.

PumpkinPositive · 22/01/2014 19:30

Strange to think the parents are getting all steamed up about a 5 minute walk down the road instead of the far more likely possibilities now she's discovered boys. Grin

lljkk · 22/01/2014 19:31

Can they not come fetch her if she "needs" a lift?
Is she overweight, OP? (Yes I find people who are ferried everywhere are more likely to be heavy, just wondering if it's had that impact)

Indith · 22/01/2014 19:31

She is 18! fgs Her parents are mad. What if she were away at uni or on a gap year? My 7 year old had been going up the road by himself to the park and to call on his friends since he was 5! during the summer is not see him for hours on end it was great Grin .

MartinSheensTeeth · 22/01/2014 19:32

So in 8 months time she could be going to university? What do her parents have in mind then?

AuntieStella · 22/01/2014 19:34

Have you any idea why her parents have such an extreme attitude?

EduCated · 22/01/2014 19:35

That poor girl, they're really not setting her up to be independent and well-equipped for life, are they?

motherinferior · 22/01/2014 19:35

Agree with SilverApples. They sound utterly barking!

merrymouse · 22/01/2014 19:36

How much do you like her?

They don't sound like good prospects as other set of grandparents.

1944girl · 22/01/2014 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverApples · 22/01/2014 19:39

So why are they like this?
Have they come from a very different background or country? Suffered a traumatic loss? Have you talked to them about why they are so afraid?

specialsubject · 22/01/2014 19:45

blimey. Surprised your son hasn't run a mile already. Where do they think you live, Beirut? Someone this over protected will be very naive and infantile. Not her fault but bad girlfriend material.

if they are late collecting her you just go out, leaving her outside if your son isn't staying with her. She's a legal adult.

OrangePixie · 22/01/2014 19:49

They are being ridiculous. But I'm not actually sure what you can do about it.