Wow what a lot of responses!
In answer to various queries:
DS is having driving lessons and he also has a p/t job, but passing his test is some way off and buying his own car is a very long way off, and he is not having my precious car to drive her home, no chance!
Anyway, none of that helps us now does it. She is not having d/lessons and hasn't got a job.
There is no chance of him dumping her, he is in lurrrve. Well, she does look like a supermodel!
I haven't spoken directly to her parents apart from the odd hello on the doorstep, TBH I don't want to befriend them partly because the r/ship probably won't last (I made a mistake a few years ago getting too friendly with one of dd's bf's mothers and that all got quite awkward when they split up) and partly because they clearly have some odd ideas and I can't see we'd hit it off. Everything I know about their views has come via g/f or DS.
TBF to them, they don't exactly expect me to drive her home, g/f always says they'll pick her up but the times i've done it are because we're bloody busy, I have 3 dc, various animals, a job, a DH who is abroad a lot and a hectic life generally and CBA waiting around and suspending my family's arrangements until they arrive, there have been occasions when we're all going out so unless I leave her on the doorstep or give her a key to our house to lock up - then it messes up what we're doing - so it's sometimes just easier to take her. But as I'm always running late, taking her home makes me even later albeit marginally. We all need to get more organised admittedly.
I'm definitely going to toughen up. It's only as time has gone on that I've realised how U it all is, I gave my DC an exceptional amount of freedom from an early age (got criticised by some friends and family) so I thought maybe it's me BU hence this post.
Absolutely, they are doing her no favours but I don't see it's my job to tell them.
There appears to be nothing in the background making them like this, they are not from another culture or anything like that and the g/f hasn't mentioned anything. They seem a traditional family, dad with a good job, mother doesn't work, 2 DDs.
I have mentioned walking with them as that way I could still drink. DS looked a bit horrified 