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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a section when not medically neccessary

176 replies

GoodTouchBadTouch · 02/07/2013 11:23

First post, Id like some opinions please. I appreciate it sounds a bit trollish so feel free to ignore it.
Im expecting my 3rd child in December, my husband is only able to be at the birth if it is a planned caesarean during school hours, otherwise he will have to look after our children as there is nobody else to.

My first was born by emergency C-section under general so my husband had to leave the room, my second was a VBAC and my husband was at home with our then 2 year old. He would love to be there.. I watch the fathers snivelling on One Born Every Minute and feel really ripped off

The VBAC was lovely but its hard work (obv) especially without someone to encourage you, and I sort of feel like I cant be arsed again. Also I had to go to theatre for an hour immediately after the baby was born, for manual removal of the placenta and stitches. Poor baby was left alone... still makes me feel sad.

I do know the risks of a section, and the cost to the NHS etc.
Home birth is out, having had a section... Im not really the type anyway.

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
conorsrockers · 02/07/2013 11:24

Sounds bloody sensible to me. Even if you are a troll Wink
Good luck

JazzAnnNonMouse · 02/07/2013 11:25

Do it

TarkaTheOtter · 02/07/2013 11:27

I don't know about the risks/costs (although I have read that the risks with elcs are actually not disimilar to vb) but I can completely understand your reasons.

TheRabbitCatcher · 02/07/2013 11:27

Of course YANBU, although your obstetrician may take a bit of convincing.

You know the risks and benefits (as it's a VBAC, there are risks and benefits for both types of birth for you), you are a grown up, you pay the NHS for their services, it's your choice.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 02/07/2013 11:27

I would :)

Devora · 02/07/2013 11:27

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Your dh being there is a big deal, you've had one CS and a VBAC with complications. But a couple of questions: will the longer hospital stay suit you and your family? And are you planning more children?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/07/2013 11:27

I'm going to say YABU. A C section is major surgery with the attendant risks and recovery time.

Plus, as you mentioned the cost to the NHS is far higher. If it for convenience rather than need you should go private.

hiddenhome · 02/07/2013 11:28

I didn't bother trying for a VBAC with ds2 because we had absolutely no childcare. I went in for my elective after we'd dropped ds1 into school. It was fine. The thoughs of going into hospital on my own and potentially having a very difficult birth or another emergency section helped me make up my mind.

everlong · 02/07/2013 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zgaze · 02/07/2013 11:30

I had a planned section for DC2 for a variety of (selfish) reasons. It was the right thing for me even though the actual op ended up being rather traumatic due to unforeseen complications. If your hospital allows it then go for it. I didn't even have to argue my case at my hospital, just asked and they said fine.

redwellybluewelly · 02/07/2013 11:31

I had a planned CS almost four weeks ago, I'm still struggling to walk any distances and not yet considered fit to drive. I'm young, fit and healthy, despite knowing it was major surgery I nevee thought I'd have a tough recovery. My DH has taken a month off work as we have a toddler DD1.

I hated being pushed into a CS, if we had another I would do anything to try to avoid it. It is however your choice but do consider how you would cope if your recovery took longer than expected.

TheFantasticFixit · 02/07/2013 11:33

110% do it. Good luckThanks

SirBoobAlot · 02/07/2013 11:34

I think YABU.

If you don't want to be alone during the birth, then look into hiring a doula.

SoupDragon · 02/07/2013 11:35

I think you are being very unreasonable to want one purely for family convenience. Expecting the NHS to bear the cost purely for selfish reasons is not on IMO

However, you've had one already and a VBAC with complications so you could argue it is for medical reasons anyway.

NotYoMomma · 02/07/2013 11:38

I am 100% woman's choice and I woukd do it myself as I have anxiety issues and couldnt do it without dh I would be gutted.

I love when peopke who say yabu - its major surgery

No shit! you're shitting me?!

Seseriously just because someone picks a different route to you doesnt make them an ignorant woman

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 11:41

YANBU. A planned section is much easier than an emergency one. I was absolutely fine within two days. Compared with the 3 weeks of sheer agony that followed DD's vaginal birth, I know which I would recommend.

INeedSomeSun · 02/07/2013 11:41

I don't think you abu.
You tried a vbac and had complications with it. They might prefer you to have a c-section anyway!

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 02/07/2013 11:44

YANBU but do think about if their are complications,can your DH take a few weeks off?

redwellybluewelly · 02/07/2013 11:47

Cote I was told to expect that too, despite every effort I haven't had an easy recovery at all from a planned CS and I'm pretty miserable about it too.

JackNoneReacher · 02/07/2013 11:48

Do what you want.

What is 'medically necessary' anyway...? I had gas and air that wasn't 'medically necessary' and people routinely have medical interventions and drugs to improve their quality of life. Not because they are 'medically necessary'.

There are many areas of the NHS where patients choose the best treatment for them - not necessarily the cheapest. As a woman giving birth you should also have the right to exercise some choice in the care you receive.

MrsLyman · 02/07/2013 11:52

You'd probably get a bit more sympathy if you asked if you should have a section because of the complications with your VBAC and how much you hated the baby being left alone (although I assume they actually with a midwife but I know what you mean, I had to leave DS2 whilst I had stitches and it was horrible even though he was with DH).

I've had two labours, with a ventouse and a natural delivery, and I know what you mean about the can't be arsed feeling. For various reasons I only have gas and air available as a pain relief option and if I just don't think I could go through that again. Although I don't actually want any more children which means hopefully I won't actually need to.

ReallyTired · 02/07/2013 11:52

It sounds like you had a pretty hard time with the VBAC.

Is there no one else who could look after the children? I think it is sad that your husband missed the birth of your second child. How does he feel? Surely a c-section on your own would be pretty horrible and there would be no one to cuddle the baby while they stitched you up.

Original poster
GoodTouchBadTouch · 02/07/2013 11:52

Wow, thanks, how nice! Good point - I do want more children. My husband would take a few days off either way. I dont know about a Doula.. sounds a bit like rent-a-freind. Thanks for all your replies. I shall do some replying of my own

OP posts:
JoandMax · 02/07/2013 11:52

Cote - I found my ELCS hard to recover from and it took me much longer than I expected. At least 8 weeks til I wasn't in a fair bit of pain and could walk further than about 100m. Not what I expected at all!

OP - I think you are making a sensible decision just bear in mind how things will go afterwards in regard to your other DC and who can sort them out if your recovery takes a while

ballinacup · 02/07/2013 11:52

I'll be having a planned section next time, and I don't give a stuff if it's 'medically necessary' or not. I've paid my NI contributions, and it's the way that suits me. I would say having your partner there is reason enough and YANBU.