To have a section when not medically neccessary

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

First post, Id like some opinions please. I appreciate it sounds a bit trollish so feel free to ignore it.
Im expecting my 3rd child in December, my husband is only able to be at the birth if it is a planned caesarean during school hours, otherwise he will have to look after our children as there is nobody else to.

My first was born by emergency C-section under general so my husband had to leave the room, my second was a VBAC and my husband was at home with our then 2 year old. He would love to be there.. I watch the fathers snivelling on One Born Every Minute and feel really ripped off

The VBAC was lovely but its hard work (obv) especially without someone to encourage you, and I sort of feel like I cant be arsed again. Also I had to go to theatre for an hour immediately after the baby was born, for manual removal of the placenta and stitches. Poor baby was left alone... still makes me feel sad.

I do know the risks of a section, and the cost to the NHS etc.
Home birth is out, having had a section... Im not really the type anyway.

Thank you in advance

I think YABU.I understand why you want it but I think that people shouldn't do that unless advised.My sister faced the risk of very serious complications so she needed a caesarean and the list was so long so she was filled with dread waiting for hers.she didnt want one but had to and the recovery time is long.

I am have an elective C section on Monday, on the NHS. The only criteria I fit is that I have had one already, and it was a bit of a battle to get it agreed. My main reason is that my DH is in Afghan and a planned C Section is the only way I could have him home for the birth. As this is not a clinical reason I focussed my discussions with the consultant on risk of uterine rupture and other medical reasons. It all worked out.

I do not feel REMOTELY guilty about it either :) Nor should you if that's what you want.

Having had a C section really they are in dangerous territory refusing you a second, you may have to fight for it though.

Clouds - no way would I offer to pay for it when I am technically entitled. People have elective sections all the time on the NHS.

LandaMc - I could very well end up with a section anyway, and a planned one would be less stressful for the baby and me. Re homebirth the midwife said I could have one against medical advise and they would be obliged to attend, but I dont want to risk it, Im forty minutes away from a hospital as it is and wouldnt feel safe.

Hmmm. Grantham is a fair way from Exeter! Anyone Nr Grantham?

Shame, I lived in Tiverton when I had number 2

LandaMc "why would you inflict the trauma of a section on the baby unless you have to?" - why would you inflict the trauma of birth on a baby unless you have to? The risk to the baby of a "natural" birth is far higher than that of a cs, where most of the risks are to the mother.

OP - YANBU but do bear in mind that second CS can be much more difficult to recover from (adhesions etc). Also bear in mind that if you have a planned section, you are likely to get booted down the list for any emergencies, so you may not end up being the last section of the day. This could affect your childcare arrangements depending on how far away the hospital is. Also you will need to plan for emergency childcare (or labouring alone) if you go into labour before your section date.

As you have already had one section, and had complications with the last natural birth, you should be able to have a repeat section.

Firstpost - I think I will do the same. Like you say no need to mention the bit about my husband. Good luck on Monday

What degree of birth damage did you have after the VBAC? If you were referred to theatre might your tear have been significant enough for you to use that in your argument?

I had a 3rd degree (and manual removal of placenta, but that was done with G&A in the delivery room) which was repaired in theatre. My gynae says that I'd be an ideal candidate for ELCS.

One thing you need to bear in mind is that a planned section does not guarantee a fixed time.

I had a planned section for DS2 as he was breech and I was advised this was the best course of action.

I arrived at 8am for my section, but there was a run of emergencies, and at 5pm I was sent home, to return the next day.

On the first day they had planned for my section to be 9am, but would have done it any time up to 5pm. In the event they couldn't do it at all due to being so busy.

On the second day it was planned for 9am again, but when I arrived at 8 as instructed, I was whisked straight through to theatre and they did it straight away, presumably to reduce the risk of a further cancellation.

So there really are no guarantees of a school-time section!

Well you've had a section before so know what to expect afterwards. Go for it. There should be more flexibility in childbirth. A section would be the worst thing that I could imagine (major surgery whilst awake- no fucking thank you) but we are all different.

I think YANBU but is there really nobody who could help with childcare? Are you just afraid to ask your friends? I would help in a heartbeat, even for friends I am not that close to and think most people would. Daft to base your birth plan on being unable to ask people for such a small bit of help. That would be my plan A in your place.

A planned section is a walk in the park, obviously if all goes well......I discharged myself on day 2. Do it. I had a vaginal birth followed by an emergency section and then a planned section due to placenta previa, the planned section was fab when compared to the other two :)

I don't think you're BU given your obstetric history. You know what a CS entails, recovery etc. you can set up support for the post natal period if you have a date to work with also. Just be wary of emergency CS on the day as the elective list come second to that so you could end up with an outside of school hours CS anyway, a very good friend had this happen for hers in April, she waited until 5pm after arriving at 7am!

Maybe I could offer my services in the SW for a fee??!!

Runner - you really think its a no big deal to ask of someone? Id feel really annoyed and put upon if a stranger asked it of me.. I dont even know anyone well enough to remember their names or see them in my free time.

Lucille - walk in the park sounds great!

Go private. The tax payer shouldn't foot the bill for your convenience.

I can see why you want to but YABU. Get a doula if you don't want to be alone or research local babysitting services for your DH to be with you.

Forgot to say Im not from round here. We have moved around a lot. What Id like is to hire a granma. Nevermind people who have their own children. The kids would love a granma

I don't think you are BU at all. Sounds very sensible.

Only thing I'd say is: there are a few things which are statistically more likely if the baby's born by CS. Asthma and later obesity spring to mind (do a search for BBC news articles). Obviously CS is probably only a tiny factor in these things, though, so probably shouldn't affect your thinking much. But might be worth a very quick consideration if these things concern you (e.g., if severe asthma happens to run in your family).

Best of luck whatever you decide.

schmee do you have a link to any evidence about CS being better for baby, it's be interested in reading as I was taught opposite when studying/ training....

Dr Pepper - Id feel like a mug handing over a check when I could get a free section on the NHS. Just like lots of other people do.. Id be so shocked if anyone decided to go private for moral reasons.

OP am I right in thinking the childcare situation is a red herring?

Personally, no way would I have a doula. It'd be OH or no one for me.

olidus - Red Herring meaning false clue? How do you mean?

My family have a history of having to move around - we are ex-armed forces - however, I would still wager that there will be people you know locally who you could ask. I had my my DD2 9 months after moving into our current house (yep, got pregnant the first week in!) and neighbours and new friends all lent a hand with DD1 - we had no family in the area either. Sometimes the best way to cement a friendship is to ask for help. The worst anyone could do is say no, but I expect most people would rather rally round to help a new family in the area. By working on the childcare issue you can relax about the particular details of the birth - because in my experience the birth is rarely like the birth plan!

It is near impossible to have a private birth in the UK, so handing over a cheque is not going to help anyway. I looked into it for my second birth, since the first had been so traumatic, and I only found one hospital in London that provided a private hospital birth...so it will be NHS anyway.

Sharri13 I think it's the levels of risk - uncomplicated VB has the best outcomes for both mother and baby but after that, planned CS is lower risk to baby than instrumental VB.