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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a section when not medically neccessary

176 replies

GoodTouchBadTouch · 02/07/2013 11:23

First post, Id like some opinions please. I appreciate it sounds a bit trollish so feel free to ignore it.
Im expecting my 3rd child in December, my husband is only able to be at the birth if it is a planned caesarean during school hours, otherwise he will have to look after our children as there is nobody else to.

My first was born by emergency C-section under general so my husband had to leave the room, my second was a VBAC and my husband was at home with our then 2 year old. He would love to be there.. I watch the fathers snivelling on One Born Every Minute and feel really ripped off

The VBAC was lovely but its hard work (obv) especially without someone to encourage you, and I sort of feel like I cant be arsed again. Also I had to go to theatre for an hour immediately after the baby was born, for manual removal of the placenta and stitches. Poor baby was left alone... still makes me feel sad.

I do know the risks of a section, and the cost to the NHS etc.
Home birth is out, having had a section... Im not really the type anyway.

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Chunderella · 02/07/2013 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 02/07/2013 21:59

I don't see a problem with it.
Unless someone has already had 2+ sections, in which case that can make a section more dangerous due to the amount of times the stomach has been opened.
Otherwise it seems a lovely idea for him to see his son/daughter being born, especially since he hasn't had the chance before.
I say go for it and hope your partner loves it as much as you do when you see that little treasure for the first time :)

WidowWadman · 02/07/2013 22:04

Having a baby inside your belly which needs to get out is enough reason to go for an ELCS in my book.

megsmouse · 02/07/2013 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 22:08

What kind of a complication from c-section is a stroke?

Are we talking about the same thing - i.e. disruption of blood flow to the brain, because of a blocked/burst blood vessel in the brain?

How on earth do not even just one but two women you know get that during a c-section? [puzzled]

giantpurplepeopleeater · 02/07/2013 22:09

Your body, your choice.

Make sure you do some research and talk to your doctors so that you can make a proper informed choice and are aware of all the risks.

But other than that, up to you. Weigh up the pros and cons and decide what is best for you and your family.

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 22:12

"A section means by definition that you're taking the baby out before it's ready to be born"

ElCS is not done before 38 weeks, iirc. Are you suggesting that a 38 week old baby is not ready to be born?

OP can ask for her elCS to be done in the 39th week. Will that be OK for you or are you really under the impression that a baby is not ready to be born before exactly 40 weeks pass after 1st day of last period before conception?

pleiadianpony · 02/07/2013 22:15

sirBobAlot you are serious? Wow! You must live in another world. Do you know that the cost of a Doula is really prohibitive for some people? It would be for me!!

Have the c-section if you need to. Youve had one before. It's a no brainer to me.

I really want to say'....'i'll babysit!!'

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/07/2013 22:16

I did see some research cited all over the papers about 5 yrs ago suggesting babies born before 40 weeks had, on average, lower IQ than 40 week plus babies. Can't be arsed to google for it though.

dietcokeandwine · 02/07/2013 22:16

I don't think you are being unreasonable about wanting a section, though agree with everyone saying there are no guarantees you will get it at any planned time/date. Plus do bear in mind that recovery from a second section may well be more painful and take longer than recovery from a first, particularly if you've had other abdominal surgery. I have had three sections, the first an emergency (was back to normal within days), the second an elective (was in pain for much of first two weeks and really couldn't do much), the third also an elective (was in agony during first few days and it was nearly two months before I felt properly physically comfortable).

The thing is, booking an elective section is all very well, but there are still too many variables (baby coming early, delays due to NHS emergency sections taking priority, complications with your own delivery) to just hope that all can be sorted within school hours. if you truly and honestly cannot ask a fellow parent to help out, why not advertise, now, for a local babysitter who can be on standby to take care of your children when the time comes? You and your children can then get to know them in advance so that when D Day arrives you all feel happy with them. I think it would be very risky, not to mention stressful and unsettling for your children (never mind you!) to be basing all your plans for the birth around a planned section in the hope that DH could be back in time for after school club pick up!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 02/07/2013 22:17

"Get a doula" bwah ha ha ha. Yes, a stranger out of the Yellow Pages will definitely be a good replacement for your husband not being there.

OP YANBU

Ruby1080 · 02/07/2013 22:19

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post, so we've agreed to take it down.

Original poster
GoodTouchBadTouch · 02/07/2013 22:20

Great idea about the surro-granma! Like you say they arent babies and would be happy to be left for a bit. Id be happy to leave them with a paid carer, and have found a few childminders nearby online.

Weve been here six weeks, moved from an hour and a half away, a year before that we moved from another area, a year before that we moved from the South West, a year before that we moved from abroad. We manage fine usually, like I said Ive had 4 ops in the last few years and my husband uses his annual leave and we cope. Just wasnt a nice experience having a risky(ish) vbac on Christmas day without my husband.

Hmm havent even had the anomoly scan yet so probably a bit ahead of myself

OP posts:
propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/07/2013 22:22

Link above relates to births before 40 weeks and link to lower IQ

Chunderella · 02/07/2013 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Backinthebox · 02/07/2013 22:25

Chunderella there are issues a few years down the road with women who have caesareans AND vaginal births. The risk of bladder damage, among other things, rises with each subsequent CS a woman has. But the costs of these are generally only mentioned by people who had a problem with a VB and are now arguing for a CS on a cost saving basis. I have had a CS and a VB, and don't feel any need to argue for either option on a cost basis - I firmly believe that the way a woman gives birth should be dependent on what the the best way is for her, not how much it costs. I've mentioned the NICE guidelines as I'm a bit fed up of people giving misleading information. If you want to know more about the costings, there is plenty of information on the NICE website - they are an impartial body with nothing to gain or lose by being misleading over the cost of medical treatment. So if they say a planned VB is cheaper than a planned CS, why disbelieve it, and call into question the cost of further treatment?

My CS included a lovely side effect known as an 'iatrogenic event,' ie unnecessary damage done to me when the doctor accidently cut through parts of my body that didn't need cutting through, including ligaments and blood vessels. I was lucky she wasn't scalpel-happy near my other internal organs, though this is a side effect of all surgery (indeed, a pregnant woman died recently when a doctor mistook her appendix for her ovary.) The 'down the road' costs of my CS included days in HDU (me) and SCBU (baby,) me being under consultant care and extra hospital appointments in my subsequent pregnancy, and potentially higher costs during my labour and birth due to me needing to be subjected to more monitoring. As it was, I saved the NHS from that cost by going private.

Lots of women who have CSs end up costing more 'down the road,' women who have had complicated VBs do not have the monopoly on that, and it should not be a reason for arguing for a VB or a CS!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 02/07/2013 22:26

No it doesn't, it relates to births at 37 & 38 weeks - which is nothing to do with the OP - ELCS are usually carried out at 39 weeks.

RE-reading the OP I think there are reasonable medical grounds for ELCS anyway based on her history.

dietcokeandwine · 02/07/2013 22:26

property your article refers specifically to 'birth at 37 or 38 weeks' - but actually, unless there is a medical reason to do so, doctors will not generally perform an elective section until at least 39 weeks. With both of my electives we had to book surgery for as near to due date as possible.

dietcokeandwine · 02/07/2013 22:27

sorry cross posted with Tondelay!

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 22:29

Well, that's bad news for my two, then. DD induced at 39 weeks because my kidneys were giving up and DS born with elCS at 38 weeks.

Nevermind that they are both trilingual at the ages of 8 and 4, not to mention musically gifted Grin

That study you are referring to found a whopping 1.7 point difference in IQ on average between babies born at 37 weeks and those born at 40 weeks. I don't know if you have ever taken an IQ test or looked into how results vary over time and even between different tests, but 1.7 point is not a meaningful difference. And we are not even talking about birth at 37 weeks.

Meanwhile, that study also shows that mean IQ decreases once baby passes 40 weeks - down to 39 weeks' level when baby is born at 41 weeks, and under even 37 weeks for babies born at 42 weeks.

Would you recommend everyone to have elCSs if their babies are still not born at 41 weeks?

ImagineJL · 02/07/2013 22:32

Youre baby isn't due for another 6 months. I imagine you'll have made lots of new friends by then and will be able to arrange some childcare.

BramblyHedge · 02/07/2013 22:32

I had an Em cs and then a vbac. The vbac resulted in emergency forceps, a distressed baby, a blood transfusion and damage. The em cs was generally fine. My third was an elective and the best of the three. I don't think that a cs is necessarily the riskier option especially given your two experiences so far.

ImagineJL · 02/07/2013 22:33

Your not youre!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/07/2013 22:34

I just provided a copy of the news report, don't shoot the messenger Hmm

Given pregnancy dating is not an exact science I would personally prefer to try to wait till 40 weeks gestation if possible (if mother and baby both healthy and able to wait)