To have a section when not medically neccessary

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

First post, Id like some opinions please. I appreciate it sounds a bit trollish so feel free to ignore it.
Im expecting my 3rd child in December, my husband is only able to be at the birth if it is a planned caesarean during school hours, otherwise he will have to look after our children as there is nobody else to.

My first was born by emergency C-section under general so my husband had to leave the room, my second was a VBAC and my husband was at home with our then 2 year old. He would love to be there.. I watch the fathers snivelling on One Born Every Minute and feel really ripped off

The VBAC was lovely but its hard work (obv) especially without someone to encourage you, and I sort of feel like I cant be arsed again. Also I had to go to theatre for an hour immediately after the baby was born, for manual removal of the placenta and stitches. Poor baby was left alone... still makes me feel sad.

I do know the risks of a section, and the cost to the NHS etc.
Home birth is out, having had a section... Im not really the type anyway.

Thank you in advance

Genuinely absolutely NO childcare.. Ive had 2 x colposcopies with my youngest in a buggy facing the other way. 4 surgeries since my 2nd was born without my husband there (cry me a river innit) Seriously I dont know the name of anybody excep the girl in the sales office who we bought the house from (its a Bovis building site)

How sad for your dh that he heasn't seen the birth of his children. I would do it for his sake.

People have elective sections all the time on the NHS.

Yes they do. They are usually medically indicated, which is fair enough. That doesn't make it right for people to have free operations that they don't need so that they don't have to pay for or arrange childcare.

Cloudsandtrees if the cost of CS is as vb, as has been demonstrated then why does it matter? The baby has to come out somehow!

But if you've got children as school you must chat to other parents at drop off/pick up or to organise play dates etc? No coffee mornings or toddler groups or regular meet ups? I think you'd be surprised if you asked people, I wouldn't mind a bit even if it was someone I wasn't that close to.

If we're going to cancel free operations that people don't need, c-sections would be quite far down the list.

Although I think YANBU to ask for a section for the reasons listed, I think it's already been covered that that doesn't mean it will happen during school hours.

Oh, and Christmas day babies are the bestest

I think YANBU.

I had an emergency section with DC1, and when it came to DC2 I had also just moved and knew nobody. TBH I much preferred the idea of another section but I was worried I would not be allowed to have one. The only person who could have dropped everything and come over day or night if I went into labour was my Mum. I asked her and she said no. Thanks Mum. She said DH would "just have to miss the birth like men did in my day." Well, thanks.

My Sister luckily said she could come and look after DC1 but she works and had a smallish child at the time and could only really come over if she could plan in advance. So I was relieved when I was allowed to have my caesarean.

When I went to meet the anaesthetist the day before, he was very pleasant and chatty. He said "It's handy having a section for Number 2 isn't it? Then you can plan your childcare, it's why my wife had a section for our second." I didn't feel so bad then.

I am amazed that people don't believe you when you say you have "no childcare." 2 says after I had DC2, DC1 had an accident and was in hospital. There was an ambulance outside the house, and DC1 and DH were in hospital for days. I was all alone post-section with a new baby. Not one neighbour knocked to ask if everything was OK. I had one of DH's family pop down for an hour. None of my family came to see us. And I consider myself close to my family.

Clouds - I do qualify for medical reasons. The obvious convenience of childcare would be a bonus though.

Debs - Thankfully Im finished with the hell of bloody toddler groups as mine are both in school! and as we are so new the children havent been on playdates. Still time though

Sorry OP, I'll explain.

Lots of people are saying things like "are you sure you couldn't get a childminder?" and "just get a doula" and part of me thinks even if you could get childcare or did get a doula so you weren't alone, you'd still want a CS because of your past experiences with birth & VBAC.

Am thinking this because if I was in your situation I'd be having an ELCS whatever childcare situation I was in. Am I totally off the mark?

olidus - Yes I see. Thing is, the VBAC was so lovely compared to the section. My milk took days to come in, baby was handed to me after I woke up and I couldntve cared less.. I didnt feel a thing. Complete opposite with the vbac, I got the fuzzy feeling you hear about and was instantly filled with love and didnt stop smiling for day bla bla puke.

So yes if I could have my husband with me (not some random female) Id honestly pick a vbac - for him as much as myself. Will look into childcare but I just bet it would happen at midnight or on a national holiday

If the baby is due around christmas then you've got a good few months to cultivate some friendships as well, as a back up plan as well as looking at paid childcare? Just an idea?

Sorry haven't read all the replies so may be duplicating.

If you cannot get childcare for your children whilst you are in labour what are you going to do during the recovery period father a C section?

If you have 2 other children surely getting out and about with them is going to be made more difficult whilst recovering from a section?

YANBU

i have had two. I think every woman should have the choice. The recovery from the CS's was an absolute doddle in comparison to my first, a vaginal delivery with episiotomy and too-tight stitches.

Wiley - my husband will take a few days off.. hopefully it wont take longer than that. Girl further up left the hospital on day 2. I am young and fit. Have had quite a bit of abdo surgery though.

I have had 2 and left on day 2 second time around but I was unable to drive for a number of weeks. Presumably your children are within short walking distance for school runs though?

If not and you are unlikely to have help for the weeks in which you recover then I would think carefully about whether the positives outweigh the negatives. I would also consider that sometimes the best laid plans can go astray .... I went into labour the night before I was due to have my elective.

Also you normally have to be at hospital for 7am (here anyway) so would you be able to get childcare for that time in the morning?

Having said all of that I wouldn't consider a vaginal birth having had two c-sections.

GoodTouch, if you want to get to know someone in the area PM me, I'm in a village a bit further towards Lincoln but I'm not from round here either. I've got a 3 month old DS and don't fancy groups much either! Much prefer meeting one or two people or actual activities.

I would look after your two if we got to know each other and you were happy with it, at the moment I don't drive and don't have a childfriendly house but the house and hopefully the driving will change before December.

Which hospital are you going to?

You "sort of can't be arsed" ABVU!!

I don't know tbh. I've had five children a normal delivery, an ELCS and then 3 VBACs. I haven't had dh with me for any of them through choice he's queasy in the extreme and I prefer to be left alone.
I'd never choose an ELCS though over a VBAC because I found the recovery a PITA as I like to get back to normal asap and one day's labour is a doddle compared to the pain after delivery by ELCS and the couple of weeks hobbling about.
Could you ask a friend to look after your child or see if you can get a babysitter on standby?

I had a semi planned semi emergency section and have no intention of attempting VBAC for my next one. :)

Just be aware that planned sections mean nothing when it comes to actual planning though - my section was booked for 38+5 but waters broke dead on 37 weeks :)

Well, I think you have made your decision haven't you? :)

I don't think YABU at all.

"As pointed out upthread, NICE didn't find any big difference between the average cost of an ELCS and vaginal birth, when dealing with complications arising from the latter are factored in."

Picking those figures apart - if you are a healthy, low risk mum who tries for a vaginal birth in any setting other than an obstetric led unit, you are likely to cost the NHS massively a lot less money than if you opt for a planned c/s. Especially if you have more than one child. Planned c/s is comparable with planned v/b in terms of finance if you assume a rate of intervention along the lines of those found in doctor led units, which are twice that experienced by women giving birth in other settings. Also if you don't factor in increased care costs and risks in subsequent pregnancies.

However, this has nowt to do with the OP.

Re: having surgery you don't need either physically or psychologically - well, OP, NHS resources are there for anyone who can play the system well enough to take what suits them, so fill your boots.

I'm trying to find a way to have my vagina remodelled on the NHS. I don't really need it done, but it might be a good 50th birthday present for my husband. After that I'm going to try for a nose job. I have a 'deviated septum' luckily, which doesn't actually cause me any significant problems, but I'm going to chance my arm and try to get it straightened anyway. I've always felt self-conscious about having a slightly wonky nose.

I am having a planned C after and EMCS the first time round,

first time failure to dilate and unhappy baby which I think means an over 50% chance of repeat C

childcare is also a massive factor - we also have no one who would be available to care for DD for days if a long labour the next time round (not many friends with kids, those that do don´t live that close, it´s holiday time). Close family etc but miles away and like a poster above DSis will come for 4 days (so ok if it gets bumped) to look after DD.

so I think better to have a planned c and longish recovery than attempt a vbac which in all likelihood would end in another EMCS meaning the stress of childcare and recovering from the labour and C-section anyway . . . . .

"We do know, though, that the idea that a baby just comes when it's ready is massive bollocks."

You may find yourself in opposition to the head of the American Academy of Paediatrics Chunderella, who has recently released a statement calling for healthy women to be left to go into labour spontaneously - as the vast majority do if given the chance, as it's better for babies who do indeed, according to him, usually come when they're ready.

YANBU. It's really up to you to do what you want. And if you've had one caesarean already, you know how it feels afterwards, recovery time etc. As for the cost to the NHS, well, who knows, an elective cs may be cheaper than a planned vaginal delivery that goes wrong. (I don't know if this is the case, obviously.)

The thing I'd worry about is whether I'd be able to persuade the doctor to do what I wanted!