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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that being overweight is never a good look?

271 replies

INeedThatForkOff · 17/03/2013 20:25

Superficial, I know. I say this as someone who is just about obese at size 16, four months postnatal.

Pre DCs I lost two stones and was at the top of my healthy weight range and a size 12. Fine really. I put on 3st with DD, lost it over 9 months, then let a stone creep back on again. I gained another 3st with DS and am in the process of losing it through diet and exercise, though struggling with tiredness, not wanting to compromise BFing, lack of time greed etc. I need to lose at least 2st still, but 3 would be best.

I've finally given in and replaced my maternity and BFing clothes with a few new bits which, to a degree, makes me feel better, but frankly when I get out and spend time with slim, healthy people, I realise that I will never look good at this size.

It's not just a self esteem issue. As much as we try to dress it up and say you can be stylish at any size, most looks work better on slim people. Being overweight has connotations of unhealthiness, lack of control, greed or laziness, and I think it's very hard to ignore that. I'm aware that in some circumstances (and I have PCOS) weight control can be difficult. Also that some people genuinely don't give a shit about how anyone else views them. Perhaps I'm simply prejudiced.

But I just don't think being overweight can be a good look. I can't even think of anyone in the public eye who looks genuinely good, without the conditional 'for their size'.

AIBU?

Fuck, I don't know if I dare post this. Flame away (it might actually help me feel better as I am, though that's not my intention!)

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 17/03/2013 20:26

I'd get the popcorn out if it wasn't fattening.

You are going to burn baby, burn.

Mintyy · 17/03/2013 20:27

And the point of this wind up thread is what??

DamnBamboo · 17/03/2013 20:27

I can't even begin to think why you posted this!

LaurieFairyCake · 17/03/2013 20:28

I think it's sad that you can't see beauty in someone who is overweight.

I'm overweight but very pretty and attractive - I've never had anyone say that I look good for my size Confused

MrsKeithRichards · 17/03/2013 20:28

Yabu some people look better than others, regardless of size. Some really slim people can't dress for shit and just assume everything suits them, some curvy women try to squeeze into styles that don't suit them.

Dressing well, for your size, regardless of what that size may be, is a talent.

RatPants · 17/03/2013 20:28

Clothes look better on thin people, without question. They hang better, the silhouette is nicer but then again I don't think the underfed kind of skinny look is one to emulate either. Meh.

Portofino · 17/03/2013 20:30

So you are fat and have come to have a pop at other fat people to make you feel better? Confused

MooMooSkit · 17/03/2013 20:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Smudging · 17/03/2013 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

INeedThatForkOff · 17/03/2013 20:31

I agree, clothes don't look good if you can't dress for shit. I can't.

I started it because it's what I think. I wanted to put it out there I'm well aware I'm going to get a pasting. It's just a forum

OP posts:
MooMooSkit · 17/03/2013 20:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

janey68 · 17/03/2013 20:32

There are some bloody ugly people about who aren't overweight. Just saying .

Areyoumadorisitme · 17/03/2013 20:32

YABU to have posted this when you must realise the only result is that you will piss off or upset a lot of people.

There can be no good come out of this, you know how you feel and seem to feel it deeply so aren't looking for people to change your mind.

Pointless fat bashing. Have my first Biscuit.

kinkyfuckery · 17/03/2013 20:32

There's a difference between being overweight and obese.

Startail · 17/03/2013 20:32

My very big DSIS is prettier than me and has better skin than I have ever had.

The slimiest mum at school always looks ill.

Pagwatch · 17/03/2013 20:33

I think you probably are simply prejudiced. And tbh it's not desperately wealthy to layer such negative judgements upon people who are overweight if you are overweight yourself.
To become a happy healthy person you have to value yourself. Your post is layered with contempt for people like you.

Pagwatch · 17/03/2013 20:33

Healthy not wealthy.

CloudsAndTrees · 17/03/2013 20:33

I don't think it's just about overweight. The plus size models that get used to show plus size clothes always look great. I have a friend that's very overweight, but she always looks lovely, because she has a good shape. Her figure is perfect, just bigger.

MrsKeithRichards · 17/03/2013 20:33

Maybe seek out a bit of help regarding how to dress for your new shape? It would make the world of difference to how you feel. Wearing shapeless baggy things would make anyone look rubbish.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 17/03/2013 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

AnnabelKarma · 17/03/2013 20:34

underfed kind of skinny look

Is that as opposed to the overfed kind of fatty look ?

Or are we still only allowed to be rude about slim people on MN? Hmm

PhallicGiraffe · 17/03/2013 20:34

YANBU, but a lot of people on here are very sensitive about their weight so this won't end well.

INeedThatForkOff · 17/03/2013 20:34

slimiest? Ha!

I'm not intending to offend fat people, but I know I will. Is it just me who sees those connotations then?

OP posts:
INeedThatForkOff · 17/03/2013 20:35

GwendolineMaryLacy - nope, not a bit.

OP posts:
IfNotNowThenWhen · 17/03/2013 20:35

It all depends how the weight is distributed.
Some people carry it very well. Plus, as Catherine Deneuve said, at a certain age, one must make a choice between one's face and one's arse.
(I paraphrase).
Ruth Jones is gorgeous, but if you are overweight and all the weight is entirely on your ankles, then, no, it's not a good look.
HTH.