to think that being overweight is never a good look?

[INeedThatForkOff]

Superficial, I know. I say this as someone who is just about obese at size 16, four months postnatal.

Pre DCs I lost two stones and was at the top of my healthy weight range and a size 12. Fine really. I put on 3st with DD, lost it over 9 months, then let a stone creep back on again. I gained another 3st with DS and am in the process of losing it through diet and exercise, though struggling with tiredness, not wanting to compromise BFing, lack of time greed etc. I need to lose at least 2st still, but 3 would be best.

I've finally given in and replaced my maternity and BFing clothes with a few new bits which, to a degree, makes me feel better, but frankly when I get out and spend time with slim, healthy people, I realise that I will never look good at this size.

It's not just a self esteem issue. As much as we try to dress it up and say you can be stylish at any size, most looks work better on slim people. Being overweight has connotations of unhealthiness, lack of control, greed or laziness, and I think it's very hard to ignore that. I'm aware that in some circumstances (and I have PCOS) weight control can be difficult. Also that some people genuinely don't give a shit about how anyone else views them. Perhaps I'm simply prejudiced.

But I just don't think being overweight can be a good look. I can't even think of anyone in the public eye who looks genuinely good, without the conditional 'for their size'.

AIBU?

Fuck, I don't know if I dare post this. Flame away (it might actually help me feel better as I am, though that's not my intention!)

[FrauMoose]

Smug is never a good look in my opinion...

[Babymamaroon]

I have to say I agree with you and I say this also having been a generous size 16 post partum. I look like a different person in photos at that time and not in a better way. I'm now back to my usual 12 and look much better in my clothes. I think it's quite a personal thing though as beauty is in the eye of the beholder and different shapes and sizes appeal to different people...

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Good. Then we're all happy.

[Portofino]

No, it is not just a forum. It a collection of human beings. And if you are rude and insulting, which you were, you should be called on it.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

The slimiest mum at school always looks ill

I bet she does Startail, poor slippery thing

[Eebahgum]

Personally, I think attractiveness has fuck all to do with looks. Confidence and a bubbly personality shine out of some women and make them look better than miserable sour faced bitches. I suspect from your post you are fairly miserable about your size and therefore probably don't look good. However, I think there are a large number of overweight women who look fabulous.
Ratpants- I also think a woman with curves and a fabulous rack can carry off certain outfits better than a woman who is straight up and down. So not all clothes look better on thin people, it depends on the woman's knowledge of what suits her body shape.

[SmiteYouWithThunderbolts]

YABU. I have a friend who is a plus size model and she is incredibly beautiful, always looks very stylish. I'm in awe of her confidence and general fabulousness.

[DeadWomanWalking]

Meh! Never judge until you've walked a mile in another person's shoes (or however the saying goes). There are all sorts of reasons why people are fat, none of which are any of your business. I feel very sorry for the people around you that you judge their worth solely on the size of their waists. Also says a lot about you and they type of person you are.

FWIW I was gorgeous when I was skinny, and I had the exact same self esteem issues when I was a size 10 as I do now at a size 18. The difference is now I enjoy life a bit more because I allow myself to eat.

[perplexedpirate]

OP, not only are BU, you are wrong.
I'm a right fat knacker and I am so attractive it frequently gets me all kinds of scrapes.
Trufax.

[perplexedpirate]

into all kinds of scrapes.
Don't want you thinking I'm so wide I graze myself on door frames!

[INeedThatForkOff]

In my mind, this is connected with the issue of vanity sizing that pops up on here quite frequently. I just feel a bit like a veil has fallen away recently and I'm seeing this a bit differently. Not really making sense but I know what I mean.

[fishandlilacs]

I thought ruth Jones looked stunning on Jonathan ross last night.

I think this does sound like a self esteem issue in this case. You can look good in bigger sizes.

[Portofino]

It is not about weight per se, but making judgements about people according to how they look. We rarely do this about men. It pisses me off.

[theoriginalandbestrookie]

I think you are being hard on yourself. You gave birth four months ago, put your energy into enjoying your new baby rather than beating yourself up for your size.

FWIW I agree with you to an extent. Some people suit being right at the top of their BMI range and even a bit above whereas others look better at a lower weight.

Sadly I'm one of those people who look better at a lower weight and really struggle with it. I find if I'm at a higher weight I need to buy more expensive clothes for them to fit well, whereas when I'm at a alower one I don't need them to be as well cut.

I can totally understand why people are overweight in this culture which pushes high sugar non nutritious food at them all the time. It is hard to make healthy choices all the time. I keep my weight at a reasonable level by exercise and trying to be moderate in my choices ( I do WW but have only lost half a stone in 6 months )

[INeedThatForkOff]

petplexed

[Portofino]

What DO you mean OP? That you are shallow and fret a lot about clothes sizing?

[INeedThatForkOff]

I think the same about men.

[SecretNutellaFix]

You used to be a fatty basher didn't you, and now you have joined the ranks of those you belittled and sneered at?

[INeedThatForkOff]

Yes, probably Portofino.

[mabongwen]

I look better overweight, im short and at 9st which is my healthy weight I look like a child! I'm now 11st and a hourglass. My BMI is "overweight" at 26 but I care not I look good as a size 10/12 I look like a woman.

[sick0fants]

I have seen lots of overweight people who are beautiful.
Sadly, when I was 3 and a half stone above my pre pregnancy face I looked like a pear with a puffy face. The fat sat in all the wrong places.
Since I have lost most of the weight I get critisized for looking "dangerously thin" (hardly at 9 and a half stone)
Fat or thin, I can't fecking win

[sick0fants]

Weight not face!

[mylovelymonster]

There is a woman at work who is at least a size 16, and she always looks amazing. She has a knack of choosing her clothes and putting them together, plus she must have truly incredible underwear that sculpts and shapes. She takes great pride in her appearance and is always well groomed. She is one of the best dressed in the building. I am a 10/12 and I want to have her style.

I wouldn't say she has the best body shape, just bigger, but she uses what she's got to best advantage.

So I have to say, I think YABU. Size 16+ can look great, and it's about choosing the correct shapes & styles/colours, and being confident about who you are, and being comfortable with that.

Your comments come from being 6months post-natal, I think, not being overweight. I still look like a haggard flabby old witch 4-years PN, but have started to get a bit more time to myself so am putting on makeup, dressing better, and having a great haircut next week - first in 14 months!!!!

You will be fine. Stop bashing yourself.

[INeedThatForkOff]

No, SNF. I'be struggled with weight for a long time as you will see from my OP.

My family are generally very slim and can look good a lot more easily than I can.

But lately I've started thinking about finding a style and have been looking around me a lot to see what I like. It's just something that's struck me while I've been looking. I've been kidding myself.

[apostropheuse]

I think it's very shallow to give a damn about what someone looks like. However, if you're going to be so judgemental then I would say YABU as it's perfectly possible to look gorgeous and be outwith the normal BMI.

Being overweight is undoubtedly bad for your health, I don't deny that; but it's not an indicator of how beautiful a person is.

Anyway, everyone perceives beauty in a different way - beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.