to think that being overweight is never a good look?

[INeedThatForkOff]

Superficial, I know. I say this as someone who is just about obese at size 16, four months postnatal.

Pre DCs I lost two stones and was at the top of my healthy weight range and a size 12. Fine really. I put on 3st with DD, lost it over 9 months, then let a stone creep back on again. I gained another 3st with DS and am in the process of losing it through diet and exercise, though struggling with tiredness, not wanting to compromise BFing, lack of time greed etc. I need to lose at least 2st still, but 3 would be best.

I've finally given in and replaced my maternity and BFing clothes with a few new bits which, to a degree, makes me feel better, but frankly when I get out and spend time with slim, healthy people, I realise that I will never look good at this size.

It's not just a self esteem issue. As much as we try to dress it up and say you can be stylish at any size, most looks work better on slim people. Being overweight has connotations of unhealthiness, lack of control, greed or laziness, and I think it's very hard to ignore that. I'm aware that in some circumstances (and I have PCOS) weight control can be difficult. Also that some people genuinely don't give a shit about how anyone else views them. Perhaps I'm simply prejudiced.

But I just don't think being overweight can be a good look. I can't even think of anyone in the public eye who looks genuinely good, without the conditional 'for their size'.

AIBU?

Fuck, I don't know if I dare post this. Flame away (it might actually help me feel better as I am, though that's not my intention!)

Too true Phosephene.

I never see any fat people who don't look after themselves, think bad teeth, greasy hair, yellow nails from smoking etc.

Having (not entirely inadvertently) lit the blue touchpaper, I have to go and do stuff). Will catch up later.

One of my closest friends is bigger than me, but I would be delusional if I said she wasn't more attractive and stylish and chic.

I think everyone has the same body issues, regardless of dress size. We can all look like a BoS in the wrong clothes which are not cut to our shape but some weird approximation of a normal female shape.
I and most of the women I know go clothes shopping and come back totally distraught because they have taken a load of stuff into a changing room only to come out feeling that nothing fits/suits them and that they are beyond the possibility of looking nice. Fashion is sodding awful as all the shops seem to peddle the same shapes styles in a season, and often I just can't find anything I can wear. Shopping for a Christmas party dress is the worst - really looking forward to that, yet the last three years have been sodding awful polyester with high necklines, which make me with a decent bust look mumsy and fat. Is soul destroying.
It's not just you.

I would rather be lacking a waistline than personality....
Thanks for excusing those with PCOS from your judgement. What about those whose treatment for cancer causes them to pile on weight? Are they included in your equation OP?
Sorry that you feel so bad about yourself that you have to be nasty about others in order to validate yourself.

whoever mentioned plus size - due to the distorted values of the fashion 'industry', a 'plus size' model is usually someone at the top end of the healthy range, so they will look good.

a standard 'model' is a walking skeleton and looks horrible. As does someone who is too fat. Neither will look good however they dress. Both look bad because they are so obviously unhealthy.

Healthy weight covers a wide range (e.g. about 2 stone for someone 5 foot 7) so there's no need for everyone to look the same.

i agree with you op.

I love this thread.

You're shallow and horrible if you don't think fat people are gorgeous.

But it's absolutely fine to slag people off for being ugly :o

I tend to agree, in that I'd be happier at the "ideal" weight, haven't quite got round to it after 2nd child yet, hopefully will, recognise its not the most important thing, but hell getting dressed is more fun

Gok makes overweight people look fabulous, by disguising and contouring the fat; they look good in spite of it.

I know this is a vastly unpopular opinion, and I would never voice it in real life.

People are heavier and fatter than ever before in history. It's not good. Fine, if you want to eat more than you should and move less than you should, but the sensitivity around the issue is getting silly. Instead of taking offence, do something about it. Or, if you are happy about the extra weight, then there's no need to take offence.

This absolutely applies equally to men as women.

I'm fat due to high dose steroids, other drugs and being rendered practically immobile for some years due to a scary health condition.

Although I am up and about now and am slimmer than I was, I am still fat and I know there isn't a lot I can do about it whilst on these meds. I don't eat shit either. My face goes cushingoid due to specific medication.

I know I look crap. But I try to look presentable.

I'm guessing you looked in the mirror, decided you looked like a sack of shit and assumed everyone else your size does in order to make you feel better?

I have a friend who is much larger than me, she is also much more attractive than me.

But it's absolutely fine to slag people off for being ugly or for being slim.

Annabel I'm thin myself, I'm not bashing thin people! I'm talking about the size 0 models who look ill and underfed rather than simply thin. There are extremes of both, neither of which I personally find attractive but luckily enough, my opinion is just that.

No - it is perfectly fine to slag women off. That Victoria Beckham is TOO thin don't ya know. Adele - pretty, dresses well, gets an Oscar. FAT though. Put on weight after pregnancy? Feel bad about it? Well let's go on a diet, do some exercise....instead of starting a thread asking for tips on how to go about this, etc start a thread pointing out that being fat is bad...

The thing is there is stuff you can do to improve how you look regardless of size.

But you have to love yourself enough to bother.

If you look in the mirror and all you think is 'I'm fat, therefore I'm ugly' tyhen you're on a hiding to nothing.

If we're talking about looks alone (which I think the OP is) then I agree.

I've never seen an overweight person whose look wouldn't be improved by losing some weight.

That doesn't mean overweight people don't/can't look good though.

Just that their overall look would be improved by shedding some pounds. Even the airbrushed Adele and Dawn French (mentioned up thread) would look better imo.

Nobody looks their best with excess weight, few look any way good, some fat people still have attractive faces in spite of the extra blubber detracting from them, they would be beautiful if they were a healthy weight.

Fat is unattractive because it indicates a lifestyle of overeating, ignorance of nutrition and lack of moving or more rarely, serious illness. You eat more than you burn, you get fat, gluttony and laziness are not lusted after qualities.

It's simple evolution that we are primed to go for the healthiest, strongest mate, whether it's an illness of the mind (food addiction, laziness, depression) or something wrong with the body (thyroid), excess weight is a warning sign that something is wrong.

Thanks for excusing those with PCOS from your judgement. What about those whose treatment for cancer causes them to pile on weight?

I used PCOS as an example, and I'm fairly sure you wilfully misunderstood.

the sensitivity around the issue is getting silly. Instead of taking offence, do something about it. Or, if you are happy about the extra weight, then there's no need to take offence.

^^ that

I'm guessing you looked in the mirror, decided you looked like a sack of shit and assumed everyone else your size does in order to make you feel better?

Nope. My mirror lies to me regularly. I based my opinion on looking around for styles I like and observing all sorts of people.

I have only read the OP, so apologies if things have moved on... But, I have a lovely friend who is one of the most energetic, vibrant and beautiful ( both outwardly and inwardly) people I know. She is a big girl (don't know how because she is so active), but her skin is wonderfully clear, her hair is glossy and well cut, her home is fragrant and welcoming (so she's not lazy) and her children are a delight.

However, I realise it's not like that for everyone. I'm struggling with feeling like a vibrant woman these days. I'm not nearly as big as my friend, but I'm not as active, or happy.

I'm of the opinion that the mind is where its at... get that under control and you're alright.

I'm currently working on it myself

You see I'm not convicned of that zebra

Whenever I go out with my bigger friend, I swear every man in the room starts drooling!
Some women just carry it off.

And if you go to some other countries, larger ladies are considered in a very positive way. And boy do they rock it .

I think what is attractive is confidence in ones own style and sexuality. This can shine through at any size. Or it can be missing at any size.

yanbu. Somehow, after giving birth 14 weeks ago, I've gone from sz10 to
literally squeezing into a 12 which I won't because it makes me look
gross. On a mega diet. Neither extreme looks good.

word I don't think the OP would dispute that men start drooling over your friend...just that in the OP's opinion weight loss would make her even more droolworthy.

I think some people are reading this the wrong way maybe?