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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH is a patronising tosser?

188 replies

Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 07:43

I'm pregnant and on half term. I have always had a sweet tooth, but not excessively. I've always hd a healthy weight, way within normal bmi, eat regular, home cooked healthy meals etc

On Monday, popped into school to pick some stuff up. Immediately he starts rummaging in my classroom for sweets. Found a single double decker that had been sitting there for a fortnight.

Yesterday, a friend came over to watch movies for the day. She bought pic n mix which we barely touched, and had a can of lilt with lunch (which I probably have once each school holiday.) he had a massive go at me last night, then apologised.

This morning, he has printed off 20 pages of bullshit from 'the natural pregnancy website' about how horrendous sugar is, and left them where he knew I would sit and drink my tea in the morning.

Aibu to wish he would piss off? I know he is trying to look out for me but he is really winding me up...

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 21/02/2013 08:09

What a twunt

DS is 90% cornetto. Didn't do him any harm

Seriously though "checking" on you???? WTAF?

Snazzynewyear · 21/02/2013 08:09

Damn it, you've really made me want a can of Lilt now! And I don't know where sells it anymore.

Definitely OTT on his part. The amount of sugar you've described in context of varied diet is not a problem. Plus I would want specific research from peer-reviewed journals so unless he's got that, no dice. May I suggest he gives up booze and also whatever his favourite foods are for the length of the pregnancy to properly support you?

TalkativeJim · 21/02/2013 08:09

Total dick.

As the last thing you need during labour is to feel unsupported or to feel your 'performance' is being monitored, perhaps suggest to him that this little insight into his petty nasty attitude to you has made you reassess whethe he would be a suitably supportive birth partner.

Nasty little man!

HecateWhoopass · 21/02/2013 08:10

oh dear. I thought so. What do you think showing him this thread will achieve? He is controlling. He has always been controlling. In all honesty - do you think he's going to stop being controlling? Do you think that he'll do anything other than sneer and dismiss us as hysterical wimmen who don't know anything cos he's only looking out for you and He Knows Best?

He's not going to give a shit what we think. We're only women. He thinks he has the right to control you. That's not going to change.

Can I ask - when he dictates that you must not do X, or you must do Y - do you comply?

diddl · 21/02/2013 08:10

He has always been like this??

Must have some exceptionally good points to make up for it then.

Littleturkish · 21/02/2013 08:12

He has always been like this? :(

How does it make you feel? Before you were pregnant?

Does he exert control over you in other ways too?

ThreeWheelsGood · 21/02/2013 08:12

Eep, this isn't patronising, it's controlling. This needs to be stopped before the baby comes as all those sleepless nights will make life even more stressful. Your midwife is well placed to offer health advice, not him. It really doesn't sound like you're eating much sugar at all (especially compared to what I ate).

Littleturkish · 21/02/2013 08:12

I agree 100% with hectate.

Emilythornesbff · 21/02/2013 08:13

Maybe tell him you need the sugar to relieve your hangover!
His behaviour sounds a bit controlling tbh. He might just be ott with advice atm but it's something to watch. Maybe I'm being over dramatic.

Is he normally like this?

imnotmymum · 21/02/2013 08:13

90% cornetto

purrpurr · 21/02/2013 08:14

So sorry you're having a child with this guy, if he's always been like this. Do you have a plan B for when the child arrives and your DH is unsupportive, controlling, makes nasty comments etc? Will you just take it or will you be looking for a warm, safe, happy environment for you and your son?

Original poster

Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 08:14

Ha ha Hecate, do I fuck. And you have hit the nail on the head there. He will dismiss you all because what the hell do you know?

Normally when he gets like this I tell him to take a running jump. It has been causing arguments for the past 6 and a 1/2 years...
Think I am extra irritable because of being up the duff.

OP posts:

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 21/02/2013 08:14

Sheesh, is his name Mr Grey?

What a controlling, patronizing twat, yes lots of junk wont do baby no favours, but you dont sound like, your living off the stuff, tell him if you gotta give up all this stuff, then he can too.

UnrequitedSkink · 21/02/2013 08:16

Is he concerned about your weight gain or the baby's health? Either way he's being a dick. Is he like this about other things or is it just food?

Original poster

Mawgatron · 21/02/2013 08:16

Might print this off and leave it on his work clothes.

Oh, and just went on fb and he has posted a link to the article on his wall. I may have posted a link to this thread as a comment. Whoops.

OP posts:

ivanapoo · 21/02/2013 08:16

Massive, giant waving in the wind red flag for me. He sounds controlling, distrusting and mean. If you had given him cause for concern - WHICH YOU HAVEN'T - I could understand him sitting you down to have a gentle chat about what might be leading you to eat unhealthily, but printing something off a website and just leaving it? What passive agressive bullshit is that?

I ate cake or choc every day for the last few months of pregnancy. I also ate lots of varied, balanced and healthy meals, just like you. Continuing with the cake while breastfeeding too.

glenthebattleostrich · 21/02/2013 08:17

Tell the patronising twunt that when he is carrying a child he can eat what the fuck he wants. Then eat a whole tub of ben and jerry's in front of him followed by a big bag of haribo

HecateWhoopass · 21/02/2013 08:19

It's good that you don't (yet) feel utterly browbeaten by him.

How many years, realistically, do you think you have before you are just utterly, utterly drained by it?

Are you happy? That's the big question.

purrpurr · 21/02/2013 08:22

Maw, sounds like you can handle yourself and he's a tosser, just tell him to get stuffed until he can stop being an arse.

MrsLouisTheroux · 21/02/2013 08:28

Oh, and just went on fb and he has posted a link to the article on his wall. I may have posted a link to this thread as a comment. Whoops.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/02/2013 08:29

OP forgive me, but why the fuck did you decide to have a baby with such a controlling arse?

I am actually quite concerned for you, because the behaviour is only going to escalate further once you have a baby to care of.

BrevilleTron · 21/02/2013 08:29

If my DD's dad had even attempted to do anything like that he would have been in A&E having a family bag of Maltesers individually removed from his japs eye!!

Oh and what do we know Mr Mawgatron?

Err we are the ones who actually have the children inside us?!
Last time I checked..
Men weren't able to do that.

So go swivel with your pathetic diet control attempts.
Tit.

ScarletLady02 · 21/02/2013 08:30

Sorry if this also sounds patronising, but does he have any good qualities? I'd really struggle to put up with that if I'm honest. Good for you for not bowing down to it, but it can't be a lot of fun.

snuffaluffagus · 21/02/2013 08:30

God I wouldn't have been able to put up with over 6 years of someone like this, good luck to you!

MrsLouisTheroux · 21/02/2013 08:30

Hectate!

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