... to know that people who put ketchup on chips are as common as muck.

[complexnumber]

Salt and (malt) vinegar on chips, there is no other option for decent folk.

Ketchup is only acceptable on fishfinger sandwiches, nothing else.

You can always recognise a person of character by their use of sauce.

HP/Brown sauce: indicates a trustworthy soul with whom you could probably trust your latest betting tip

Salad cream: Not a serious person, very unreliable.

Using Oil/vinegar salad dressing: Pretentious and probably not listening to anything you are saying.

French Mustard: Wimp, and probably hoping it's the same mustard that is squirted, unasked, on their hot dog at the cinema. Far too sweet. Avoid these people.

English Mustard: The No.1 of all condiments. Anyone who uses English mustard demonstrates qualities of individualism, integrity and insight.

May I suggest you use this as a guide rather than a mantra. And any additions would be gratefully received.

Gosh you've thought about this haven't you?

What about

mayonnaise

mint sauce/jelly

I put mayo on my chips, what does that make me?

Eh? What am I allowed to put on salad then if oil and vinegar is out? I can't plaster my green salad with English mustard.

Mayonnaise on chips.
Ketchup on peas
Mint sauce in tomato soup.

Everything else is negotiable.

They're chips love, it really doesnt matter.

I like balsamic actually. Or failing that, ketchup.

Happy being common.

I have gravy with chips

Garlic sauce here, so I know I'm not a vampire :(

Yuck to ketchup on fish fingers. Tartare sauce for me or mayo if I've run out of capers

Oil and vinegar is pretentious?? WEH?

I love salad cream on chips. I dont think you'd like me very much.

hmm
where does that leave dh then?
he loves both brown sauce and salad cream (not together i hasten to add)

i hate both

mayo with french fries only

am with Orm on salad dressing

I am aghast at anyone who puts anything on their chips, I'm a side of the plate dipper. Unless they're from the chippie and eaten from the paper and even then I'm a side squirter (maybe a euphamism for something that as well!). Anyone who puts sauce on their chips on a plate is unruly IMO.

My fave sauce is horseradish though, have it with lots of things.

I have cream cheese on the side with mine.

And ketchup.

eating chips is common

I like salad cream with pizza. On the side of the plate, obviously.

this is how to eat chips

Mayonnaise may be acceptable, it depends upon what sort of house you live in.

If it's just a salad cream substitute, then I'm afraid you need to address your acceptable values a little more closely

LOL at house-dependent mayo-use

I have a dab of wasabi

So ner

I like all of the above, does that make me a very complex individual then?

Just the sight of gravy on chips makes me feel ill.

Mint sauce is vile but that could have something to do with the fact my mum kept an ancient jar of Heinz mint sauce in the cupboard for guests and would top it up with malt vinegar whenever anyone was unwise enough to try some.

Dutch/Belgian people would have to have mayo on their chips.

I am not common as muck and have developed a taste for ketchup with chips in adulthood, but agree salt and vinegar is spiffing.

The subtle flavour of the fish finger sandwich would be overwhelmed by the application of the red stuff, I feel. Much better a mayo/tartare sauce combo, with crunchy iceberg lettuce.

Mayo, and variations thereof e.g. aioli, mayo and thai sweet chilli mixed, particularly on curly fries.

English mustard is the sweat of Satan FACT