... to know that people who put ketchup on chips are as common as muck.

[complexnumber]

Salt and (malt) vinegar on chips, there is no other option for decent folk.

Ketchup is only acceptable on fishfinger sandwiches, nothing else.

You can always recognise a person of character by their use of sauce.

HP/Brown sauce: indicates a trustworthy soul with whom you could probably trust your latest betting tip

Salad cream: Not a serious person, very unreliable.

Using Oil/vinegar salad dressing: Pretentious and probably not listening to anything you are saying.

French Mustard: Wimp, and probably hoping it's the same mustard that is squirted, unasked, on their hot dog at the cinema. Far too sweet. Avoid these people.

English Mustard: The No.1 of all condiments. Anyone who uses English mustard demonstrates qualities of individualism, integrity and insight.

May I suggest you use this as a guide rather than a mantra. And any additions would be gratefully received.

Chip butty. DH had never ever had one before he met me. We must have looked like the Klampetts to him!

I am about to make some exceptions for my (already rather loose) rules.

Mint sauce is most definitely a sauce of distinction, on the condition (of course) it is entirely home made.

I think the jury is divided with regards the malt/balsamic vinegar argument. For the moment balsamic vinegar will be classed as rather naff unless you have at least 3 bathrooms in your house

Gravy and chips is just wrong

Chip shop chips have to have salt and vinegar, and ideally curry sauce too.

Oven chips are the devil. If I don't have access to a chip shop or chip pan, it has to be potato waffles or smiley faces. With salt, mayonnaise and ketchup.

Brown sauce is acceptable on beans on toast only.

Mmmm yes a dab on wim kok ..yum yum

Chips with mayo, keychup or aioli
Fishfinger sandwiches with tartare sauce, obviously
Salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar
English mustard is horrible

winterwonderland i eat chips like that all the time

I have stockpiled several bottles of balsamic ketchup (limited edition you know) to go with these chips. You haven't lived until you have tasted them, sorry.

Balsamic ketchup? What strange magic is this?

I have long considered the squelching sound one gets from a plastic bottle of ketchup to be the true fanfare for the common man!

Frightfully common to put anything on chips. A puddle of ketchup is far more acceptable than random sloshing of vinegar and sprinkling of salt. Don't you know that salt should be in a neat little pile on the side of your plate.

Chips are only truly at their best when bought from our local chippy and covered in salt and vinegar. Tomato ketchup on the side only. Well, actually I have to put ketchup on my chips, cos dh hates it and it's the only way I can stop him nicking all my chips.

I have english mustard and mayonnaise on chips. And a sprinkling of Maldon, natch.

Obviously this makes me a peerless individual with exceptional taste and a continental sense of panache.

I had always found Heinz ketchup bland until <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=heinz+balsamic+ketchup&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1920&bih=955&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=3BvW5FakxSiYcM:&imgrefurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinkpicturegalleries/8362193/Limited-edition-food-from-Champagne-Marmite-to-multi-coloured-ketchup.html&docid=c-h-VkVFImJrmM&imgurl=i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01840/tomato-balsamic_1840757i.jpg&w=620&h=620&ei=gd3gTpDLHoOy8QPqgIHMBA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=534&sig=110503440662189954179&page=1&tbnh=139&tbnw=139&start=0&ndsp=50&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=84&ty=100" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this balsamic one

I really did stockpile it

SantasStrapon : A puddle of ketchup is far more acceptable than random sloshing of vinegar and sprinkling of salt. Don't you know that salt should be in a neat little pile on the side of your plate.

Random sloshing and sprinkling is completely out of order. I can't see any reason why one's wrist need to jerk about more than about 5" in either direction.

Curry sauce on chips, got to be.

The trouble is, I find, that men in general can't slosh or sprinkle anything daintily.

Precisely complex. Disgusting behaviour.

DP regards ketchup as southern sauce and HP as northern sauce. Consequently, as he is from the Potteries, he mixes them both into an interesting swirl for a breakfast fry up.

He has chips with a double helping of mushy peas (with vinegar on the peas) and is fairly scathing about red sauce (won't let it anywhere near his chips).

He is still trying to convince me that a mushy pea toastie sounds like an interesting tapas dish.

i put pesto paste on my chips

Common as muck and proud!

Chips on a plate? It's got to be newspaper - printed of course so the ink makes nice patterns on the chips - and you eat the chips with a wooden chip fork of course!

Oh and if you have mushy peas and a pickled onion there's no need for any of those sauces mentioned above! :o

Ketchup for bacon sarnies
Salt and vinegar for chips
Mayonaise for fries
English mustard for english sausages
American mustard for hot dogs
French mustard for ham
Salad cream for chicken sandwiches
Mango chutney for cheese sandwiches
Redcurrant jelly for peanut butter sandwiches
Oil and balsamic for salads
Brown sauce for those with no tastebuds.

:)

But vinegar makes chips wet and cold; and it tastes of vinegar.

Yuk.

Really really good chips require nothing but salt. Quite like ketchup or gravy on inferior specimens