... to know that people who put ketchup on chips are as common as muck.

[complexnumber]

Salt and (malt) vinegar on chips, there is no other option for decent folk.

Ketchup is only acceptable on fishfinger sandwiches, nothing else.

You can always recognise a person of character by their use of sauce.

HP/Brown sauce: indicates a trustworthy soul with whom you could probably trust your latest betting tip

Salad cream: Not a serious person, very unreliable.

Using Oil/vinegar salad dressing: Pretentious and probably not listening to anything you are saying.

French Mustard: Wimp, and probably hoping it's the same mustard that is squirted, unasked, on their hot dog at the cinema. Far too sweet. Avoid these people.

English Mustard: The No.1 of all condiments. Anyone who uses English mustard demonstrates qualities of individualism, integrity and insight.

May I suggest you use this as a guide rather than a mantra. And any additions would be gratefully received.

VINEGAR! If you have vinegar on your chips you are a disgusting boakmonger.

Salt only, anything you wish other than salt is to be placed in a separate container to the right of your plate for dippage (gravy/mayo/mustard mayo/chippy curry sauce/mushy peas)

No vinegar... I once returned a portion of chips to my local chippy as i asked for no vinegar and they pissed the devilly mank all over them

Vixsatis, finally a voice of reason ignoring your ketchup suggestion, you didnt mean it, you meant mayo, i know you did, its ok

He is still trying to convince me that a mushy pea toastie sounds like an interesting tapas dish.

The man's a genius. I might have to go and buy me a breville.

Actually I'd prefer a mushy pea toastie to spicy sausages and olives!

I love thin fries with melted cheese and chopped spring onion, dipped in sour cream.

My husband has ketch up

Try again. My dh has ketchup with boiled egg and toast. It's the top of my list of reasons for a divorce.

How has no one mentioned peri peri sauce yet? Especially the wild herb, or garlic varieties? Love it with chips and everything else on the side of the plate of course.

Mayonnaise for me. Not on them though, but a big dollop at the side of the plate so I can dip them in. Many years ago my mum told me that it was common to douse your food with ketchup/mayonnaise. It should be dolloped on the side of the plate.

Brown sauce on anything is just plain fucking wrong.

I have ketchup, HP sauce or mayo on my chips, depending on my mood or what I eat them with. (and only put vinegar on them when I'm eating them with fish)

What does this make me?

Chip shop chips = a little malt vinegar and enough salt that they look frosted. I rediscovered the joys of cheap white bread and a thick swipe of butter with the last bag we had too
McDonalds chips = ketchup
KFC/Burger King/Oven chips = salt and mayo

Mint sauce is only for lamb
Yellow American mustard is only for hotdogs - which should also have one of those plastic-y cheese slices to achieve perfection
Chilli sauce/Wasabi/English Mustard/Horseradish are all vile and should be banned

The only time I ever liked ketchip on Bacon Sarnies was when I was at my Mum's and had some of the Balsamic stuff mentioned above but I was too late and never managed to get any in the shops So I've gone back to just bread and butter for bacon. Normal ketchup is way too sweet.

And, actually, I will be having onion gravy on my chips, tonight. Best go get cooking :o

I like soy sauce on my chips.

Only the dark soy, not the light. I have standards.

I am not common.
I eat nothing on my chips.
I would rather eat dog poo than brown sauce.
I do like oil and vinegar.
I eat mayonnaise regardless of the house I am in.

It's a complicated situation complex!

We need a Venn diagram....

How about this chip abomination?

i like curry sauce on my chips, what does that make me

when i used to go out with the girls before dc's i would have chips, cheese, baked beans, raw onion and salad cream in that order yummy, i dread to think what that would make me but it was soooooo much nicer than a kebab

Garlic mayo with chips (aioli if you're pretentious posh). Failing that balsamic and salt, last resort malt 'n salt.

what about heniz tom sauce with balsamic, whats that ok or just wrong its not very nice

Fruity sauce people!!! Can't believe no-one has mentioned this little gem. It's a perfect cross between ketchup and brown sauce. And salt and vinegar should only ever go on chip shop chips.

I love mayonnaise on chips.
Chips from the chippy must be covered in salt and so much vinegar that they are soggy.
Ketchup is OK, but I wouldn't eat it voluntarily except the squeezy American kind on hot dogs. Ditto mustard.
Brown sauce mings.
Tartare sauce is a mystery to me (as in, who eats it, what it's made of, why you'd bother).

I eat chips with my ketchup.
And I'm well posh.

What a Little Englander you are, OP.

I don't live there, therefore I'm going to disregard with impunity.

Gravy mayo or coleslaw here what does that mean for humanity :o