... to know that people who put ketchup on chips are as common as muck.

[complexnumber]

Salt and (malt) vinegar on chips, there is no other option for decent folk.

Ketchup is only acceptable on fishfinger sandwiches, nothing else.

You can always recognise a person of character by their use of sauce.

HP/Brown sauce: indicates a trustworthy soul with whom you could probably trust your latest betting tip

Salad cream: Not a serious person, very unreliable.

Using Oil/vinegar salad dressing: Pretentious and probably not listening to anything you are saying.

French Mustard: Wimp, and probably hoping it's the same mustard that is squirted, unasked, on their hot dog at the cinema. Far too sweet. Avoid these people.

English Mustard: The No.1 of all condiments. Anyone who uses English mustard demonstrates qualities of individualism, integrity and insight.

May I suggest you use this as a guide rather than a mantra. And any additions would be gratefully received.

Oh and Flaming Hot Cheetos with Nacho 'Cheese' -- fond memories of Friday night football....

Depends on the calibre of the chip really, big chunky chips demand salt and vinegar. Medium thickness chips are best suited to mayonnaise. Skinny chips....why would you bother?

There is also no Dutch President OP just the Queen, here she is, I wonder what she uses on her chips? 99% sure it would be mayonnaise <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.ie/imgres?q=queen+of+netherlands&um=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&biw=1360&bih=566&tbm=isch&tbnid=Cnw-4AdOd_xFLM:&imgrefurl=www.topnews.in/people/queen-beatrix&docid=3jCT1y8UgpPhYM&imgurl=www.topnews.in/files/Queen-Beatrix2.jpg&w=472&h=472&ei=YXHjTubTBIWLhQeHnOjqAQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=145&sig=118102224150717892037&page=1&tbnh=159&tbnw=164&start=0&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=139&ty=105" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Beatrix

Sharwoods mango chutney (the one in the squeezy bottle cos it's less lumpy) is pretty awesome on chips. Beats ketchup hands down (don't tell DS1).

Curry sauce or gravy or pea juice, love them all.

So the mark of deceny is wether or not a person salts their chips. There was me getting to know to people through time to see what they were like. What was I THINKING?

So - do you put vinegar on chips before or after the salt???

before!

the vinegar has to go on chips first so that the salt sticks to the chips. i dont eat ketchup unless i am eating cheese on toast ,but my dh has it on everything ! Gravy on chips is just so wrong !

So is it just... 'brown' sauce...?

Not content descriptive such as 'tomato', or 'mint', or named, like mayonnaise or tartare... just... 'brown'?

What's in it? [festive vomit]

Ah ha. Just googled it. Apparently it's vinegar, tomato, dates, tamarind and spices. You'll all so exotic.

ooooh yes, a baguette...

ChristmassySnowBeastie

Your knowledge of British culture and traditional cuisine in a bit below standard.

I have the feeling you've never sat a breakfast table brushing up your French by reading the sauce bottle...

Tartare sauce on chipe, regardless of what else is there. This gets Raised Eyebrows if the main dish is meat but fuckit, who cares?
Mayonnaise is an acceptable substitute.

Black pepper instead of salt on chips is quite nice - and better for you if you have high blood pressure.

Salt and vinegar with a side order of tartare sauce from the chippy.

Ketchup and brown sauce are the devil's work.

Mayo and ketchup with chips is the way to go.
And yes i'm extremely common :)

chilli oil on chips with aioli or hot english mustard.
Im pregnant and can't sleep and this thread has made me hungry...

i'm tired and slightly hungover, and now i need chips

loads of vinegar first, then salt, then mayo/ketchup to dip them in. MMMMMMMM AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH i need them.

YY demeter Ketchup and mayo here too.

Salt and vinegar for chipshop chips though.

Colman's English mustard is FAB. But on veggie hotdogs, not chips.

HTH