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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very sad and angry when I see a child getting smacked

187 replies

ohnoudidnt · 27/07/2011 21:27

Was shopping today and have never seen a child get hit so hard ...he was about 3 ...It really upset me.I do not agree with hurting a child in any way and wish it could be banned.

OP posts:
icooksocks · 27/07/2011 21:29

Popcorn anyone??

Mare11bp · 27/07/2011 21:30

It is largely illegal. The person was lucky to not get challenged by somebody.
I guess no Police Officer nearby? I hate hearing stories like this. Not wishing to hijack your thread OP but I am wondering if most MNetters would challenge something like this if they saw it.

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/07/2011 21:31

YANBU, I detest it, and I don't believe there is ever an excuse for it, especially when it's toddlers. As a parent, you should be the one your child always knows they are safe with. Sad

SheCutOffTheirTails · 27/07/2011 21:34

It makes me feel a little ill.

Has done ever since I was a child.

My head says smacking is OK, just not for me, but my stomach says it's wrong, wrong, wrong.

PamBeesly · 27/07/2011 21:35

YANBU I hate it too. I was smacked as a child and used to get the fear when I thought I had been naughty :(

Selks · 27/07/2011 21:37

This raises the question of what should one DO if you see a child being hit, say in a supermarket or street?

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/07/2011 21:37

Oh pam that made me feel so sad for you Sad

hester · 27/07/2011 21:38

YANBU

nojustificationneeded · 27/07/2011 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Henwelly · 27/07/2011 21:40

Icooksocks yes please - my last box went poof!

ohnoudidnt · 27/07/2011 21:42

PamBeesly that is very sad.

Mare11bp I did want to say something but was shocked and wasnt sure what to do...but I was angry and sad and angry for not doing anything.

OP posts:
saladsandwich · 27/07/2011 21:42

yanbu - i use to work at a nursery and looked out of the window once to see one of the mums smack her 3 year old for wetting her clothes at nursery, never seen a child hit like that before. i reported it to my manager and wrote what i had seen down, they where one of our SS families so they where informed but theres nt much else you can do.... x

PamBeesly · 27/07/2011 21:42

oh don't worry sequinsandsparkles it was very much the norm in Ireland in 1989 to lash into a 6 year old child, the wallop across the back of the legs, and then the boys got the belt. I'm telling you the nuns and priests did it guddo and parents also followed suit.
I feel so sorry for a little three year old. I would have physically cried, I'd be afraid to say anything to the parent in case it was taken out on the child.

LordOfTheFlies · 27/07/2011 21:44

Mare1 1bp it is illegal to hit a child in Scotland. It is not illegal in England ( and I presume Wales/ Ireland but not sure)
Did a Safeguarding Children course recently and this was one of the ponts raised.
I'm sure the law states you are not allowed to leave a mark.

I defend my right as my DCs mother to decide on how I discipline them and I have given my DCs the very occasional single smack on the rump after warning. Usually told once, then final warning, do you understand.?

Anyone who interfered I would tell to MYOB

My DCs are well behaved balanced and I can take them almost anywhere.

malinois · 27/07/2011 21:44

Mare11bp:

What does "largely illegal" mean?

You do realise it's perfectly legal to hit your kids in the UK? As long as you don't cause too much lasting damage (physical that is, you can cause as much emotional damage as you want) you're perfectly entitled to slap the shit out of them in both public and private.

PamBeesly · 27/07/2011 21:45

Children have no bloody rights at all really

icooksocks · 27/07/2011 21:46

Hands henwelly some popcorn. I have a 2 litre bottle of a well known brand of cola too if you'd like a drink?

rookiemater · 27/07/2011 21:48

Wow LOTF how great for you that you can take your DCs almost anywhere. Neither DH nor I have ever hit our DS and strangely enough he is turning out pretty well too.
Funny how changing the wording to a single smack on the rump is meant to make violence acceptable.

malinois · 27/07/2011 21:49

lordofthefiles: whoever ran your safeguarding course was incorrect. Smacking is not banned in Scotland, however they have a law that bans hitting children on the head, shaking them and hitting with a tawse/cane/belt etc. We don't even have that in England and Wales.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/07/2011 21:49

I don't really understand people who get so upset at a parent smacking a child on the legs or bottom. The furore over 'smacking' has distorted attention from where it needs to be, which, in my opinion, is the sustained battery/abuse of a child whereby social services need to be involved before the child dies. Why not save the sadness and anger for that or better still, report these people. :(

SequinsAndSparkles · 27/07/2011 21:49

You sound rather defensive LordOfTheFlies, of course it is your decision, but you must realise people can defend their right to find it disgusting, and sometimes abusive.

RitaMorgan · 27/07/2011 21:51

It is horrible to see, and awful for that child. I believe it should be illegal too, you should no more be able to assualt a child than an adult.

I do understand parents sometimes snap and lose it - everyone feels pushed to the limit sometimes. But it is poor parenting imo.

Ivortheengine8 · 27/07/2011 21:52

I don't think it is your place to tell the parent about the smacking as it is not illegal and not everyone has the same views as yourself on it. Unless it was clearly an abusive slap or done when the parents was very angry, its not your place.
I agree with LOTF

I think most parents do have common sense and can distinguish between a smack on the bum or hand and what is not.
Yes, I am glad that much abuse has been and is being stamped out. That is a great thing, but some parents decide that a smack on the bum occasionally is what their child needs. Never did us any harm.

Steeplearningcurve · 27/07/2011 21:52

I'm really surprised as I was sure smacking was illegal now. Has there been some talk about changing the law that I could have been confused about?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 27/07/2011 21:52

I am sadder and more angry to see obese children.

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